Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitations and avoid repeating filler words. Also correct small collocation errors (e.g., “sunrises,” “snowy mountains”).

예시: I really enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often take photos of sunsets and snowy mountain ranges because their colors and shapes make me feel calm; moreover, I like capturing natural light that changes the scene.

제안: Give a direct answer first (urban, rural, or both), then justify with 1–2 specific reasons linked coherently. Avoid trailing off and fill in the sentence fully. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g., “city views,” “country landscapes”).

예시: I prefer both urban and rural views, depending on the scene. For instance, city skylines at night are dramatic because of the lights, whereas rural landscapes at dawn are peaceful and full of natural color, so I choose based on the mood I want to capture.

제안: Answer directly (either both or specify a preference), then support with a clear reason and a specific example. Remove hesitations and finish sentences. Use precise phrases like “both at home and abroad” and give one example of a scene you’d photograph abroad vs at home.

예시: I prefer both at home and abroad because each offers different subjects to photograph. For example, at home I might focus on familiar landscapes and cultural festivals, while abroad I would photograph distinctive architecture or exotic natural scenery to broaden my portfolio.

× I really like taking pictures of different views, for example, sunset sunrises, mount snowy mountains, etcetera, uh, because it gives me a sense of, uh, satisfaction and I really enjoy taking pictures of uh, natural beauty, uh, I think, uh.

✓ I really like taking pictures of different views, for example, sunsets, snowy mountains, etc., because it gives me a sense of satisfaction and I really enjoy photographing natural beauty.

The sentence has several adjective and word-choice errors: 'sunset sunrises' is redundant and should be 'sunsets'; 'mount snowy mountains' has incorrect word order and extra word 'mount'—use 'snowy mountains'; 'taking pictures of natural beauty' is acceptable but 'photographing natural beauty' is more concise. Also remove filler words (uh) and redundant commas. To improve, choose correct adjective order (adjective + noun), remove repeated words, and use concise verbs (photograph).

× Well, I would say it depends on the timing and the place. Uh, I don't mind if I get a chance, uh, to capture a really beautiful way view in the city. I will definitely capture that one because that has their own beauty, but I more.

✓ Well, I would say it depends on the time and the place. I don't mind if I get a chance to capture a really beautiful view in the city. I will definitely capture it because it has its own beauty, but I prefer rural views more.

Errors: 'timing' is acceptable but 'time' is more natural here; 'a really beautiful way view' is ungrammatical — use 'a really beautiful view'; 'that one' referring to 'view' should be singular 'it'; 'their own beauty' uses plural pronoun for singular noun — use 'its'; final fragment 'but I more' is incomplete — clarify preference (e.g., 'I prefer rural views more'). Improve by ensuring nouns and pronouns agree in number and completing sentence thoughts.

× I would not go partially because I think both chances will give me uh will give me opportunity to explore the places in my own country or the other as well. So whenever I get chance to take pictures at any place any beautiful.

✓ I would not go partially because I think both options will give me the opportunity to explore places in my own country and abroad. So whenever I get a chance to take pictures at any beautiful place, I will do so.

Pronoun and word-choice issues: 'go partially' is unclear—likely intended 'be partial' or 'prefer one over the other'; 'chances' is better as 'options' here; 'will give me uh will give me opportunity' repeats and lacks article—use 'the opportunity'; 'the other' should be 'abroad' or 'other countries'; sentence fragment 'any place any beautiful' needs correct word order 'any beautiful place' and completion. Improve by using clear pronouns and articles and completing the clause.