Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise. Try to avoid hesitations (uh, um) and repetition; state a clear main idea then add one or two specific details. Use linking words like “especially” or “for example” to connect ideas. Also correct unclear words (e.g., “manifesting” is incorrect here).

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views when I travel around my country, especially in summer. For example, during summer holidays I often photograph forests and rivers because the lighting and colours are very attractive.

제안: Answer directly and give a clear reason with specific details. Avoid contradictory phrases (saying urban areas then referring to nature can confuse). Use linking words such as “because” or “so” and keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer taking photos in urban areas because the city architecture and lively streets offer interesting subjects. In spring and summer the parks and waterfronts look especially vibrant, so I can capture colourful scenes and people.

제안: Be specific and avoid fillers. Give a clear comparison and an example. Use linking words like “however” or “for example” and name complete examples without trailing off. Mention what makes each place special.

예시: I like views in both my country and abroad. My country has wild and varied landscapes, for example dense forests and lakes, while countries like Sweden and Norway are famous for dramatic fjords and snowy mountains, which offer different photographic opportunities.

× Yes, I like taking uh, photos, uh, when I travel around in my country, especially during the summer vacation and also during the winter holidays when uh, we have chance to uh, see the forest and different river, lake and manifesting, uh.

✓ Yes, I like taking photos when I travel around my country, especially during the summer vacation and also during the winter holidays when we have a chance to see forests, rivers, and lakes.

The student uses 'have chance' which lacks the article 'a' and should be 'have a chance' (incorrect use of articles — Grammar Problem Type ID 22). 'Different river, lake' should be plural 'rivers, lakes' because multiple types are implied (singular and plural issue — ID 1). 'Manifesting' is incorrect here and does not fit the noun list; it should be removed. Use of redundant fillers 'uh' removed for clarity. Suggestion: add articles where needed, make nouns plural when listing multiple items, and use appropriate nouns in parallel structure.

× I prefer to take photos in urban areas as we have a really fascinating nature and especially, umm, during the summer and spring, it's really, uh, extraordinary looks. So I can take great photos.

✓ I prefer to take photos in urban areas because we have really fascinating scenery and especially during summer and spring, it looks extraordinary, so I can take great photos.

'Fascinating nature' is awkward when referring to urban views; 'scenery' fits better (incorrect use of adjectives or nouns — ID 13). 'It's really extraordinary looks' is ungrammatical: 'looks' should be a verb or removed; correct form 'it looks extraordinary' (sentence structure issue — ID 26). Remove unnecessary fillers. Suggestion: use appropriate nouns (scenery) and correct verb forms ('it looks') to make the sentence grammatical and natural.

× Oh, I like both of them. My country is uh, full of uh, wild, uh, nature, nature and uh, it's also not less than uh, the countries like uh, uh, really, uh, beautiful. For example, Sweden, Norway, uh, and.

✓ Oh, I like both. My country is full of wild nature, and it is no less beautiful than countries such as Sweden and Norway.

'Both of them' is unnecessary after 'I like both' (pronoun redundancy — ID 12). Repetition 'nature, nature' removed. 'It's also not less than the countries like ...' is an awkward comparative; correct comparative is 'no less beautiful than countries such as ...' (comparative phrasing — ID 25). Trailing 'and.' incomplete; removed. Suggestion: avoid redundant pronouns, use standard comparative structures ('no less ... than'), and list examples clearly.