Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific reasons with linking words, and avoid filler words (uh, um) and repetition. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'captures memories', 'uplifts my mood') and correct simple grammar (e.g., tense and plural agreement). Aim for 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially when I travel. For example, photos help me capture memories of places I visit and share highlights with friends and family, which also lifts my mood. In short, photography is a relaxing hobby that helps me remember experiences.

제안: Clarify and correct contradictions and use linking words. State your preference clearly, then explain with one or two specific reasons and examples. Avoid repeating 'well' and 'umm', and check grammar (subject-verb agreement, tense). Be consistent: if you prefer rural when stressed, say so and explain why.

예시: I like both urban and rural views, but my choice depends on my mood. For instance, at night I prefer urban scenes because I enjoy lit buildings and city life; however, when I'm stressed I choose rural areas for their quietness and green landscapes, which help me relax.

제안: Be more grammatically accurate and provide more specific details. Start with a clear statement of preference, then give vivid, specific examples and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct grammar (e.g., 'my country has', 'the northern areas'). Add one sentence about why these features appeal to you.

예시: I prefer traveling in my own country because it has many beautiful natural landscapes. For example, in northern Pakistan there are majestic mountains, clear rivers and lush greenery, which make me feel calm and connected to nature.

× Yeah, I like taking pictures of different views especially during traveling.

✓ Yeah, I like taking pictures of different views, especially when traveling.

The original sentence awkwardly uses 'during traveling'. Use 'when traveling' or 'while traveling' to express time. Also add a comma before 'especially' for clarity.

× When I travel I take pictures, uh, it reminds me the places I visited.

✓ When I travel, I take pictures; they remind me of the places I have visited.

Two issues: missing comma after the subordinate clause and incorrect pronoun/reference and tense. 'It reminds me the places I visited' is ungrammatical. Use plural 'they' for 'pictures' (subject-verb agreement) and 'remind me of' is the correct verb + preposition. Use present perfect 'have visited' to connect past visits to present experience.

× Also taking pictures is my hobby so it made my mood also fresh and also share pictures with my friends and family.

✓ Also, taking pictures is my hobby, so it refreshes my mood and I also share pictures with my friends and family.

Original mixes tenses and omits subjects. 'made my mood fresh' is awkward and past tense 'made' conflicts with habitual meaning. Use simple present 'refreshes' for habitual effect and include subject 'I' for 'share'. Remove repeated 'also'.

× Well, I prefer views in urban as well as rural areas.

✓ Well, I prefer views in urban areas as well as rural areas.

Missing noun after 'urban' — use 'urban areas'. Keep parallel structure by repeating 'areas' or rephrase 'in urban and rural areas'.

× It totally depend on my mood.

✓ It totally depends on my mood.

Subject-verb agreement: 'It' requires third person singular 'depends'. This is a present tense verb form error.

× Well, when I go out at night time, I love to see the buildings, nights, also the city's views.

✓ Well, when I go out at night, I love to see the buildings and the city's night views.

Awkward phrase 'night time' can be 'at night'. 'Buildings, nights, also the city's views' is ungrammatical list; combine into 'buildings and the city's night views'. Adjust word order for natural English.

× But umm, when my mood was so stressed, uh, I go for the urban area.

✓ But, when I am feeling very stressed, I go to urban areas.

Tense inconsistency: 'was' (past) with 'I go' (present). Use present habitual 'when I am feeling' and 'go to' (correct preposition) and plural 'urban areas' for naturalness.

× Well, I think my country have beautiful views, so I prefer to travel in my own country.

✓ Well, I think my country has beautiful views, so I prefer to travel within my own country.

'Country' is singular so verb should be 'has' (subject-verb agreement). Use 'within my own country' or 'in my own country' — 'within' emphasizes inside borders.

× In the northern sides of Pakistan, there are so many beautiful mountains.

✓ In the northern parts of Pakistan, there are many beautiful mountains.

'Northern sides' is unidiomatic; use 'northern parts' or 'the north of Pakistan'. Also 'so many' is informal; 'many' is sufficient.

× It contains rivers.

✓ There are also rivers.

Original 'It contains rivers' incorrectly uses 'it' without clear reference. Use 'There are' to state existence of rivers in that region. This corrects 'there be' construction.

× Also, the greenery makes me calm and feel.

✓ Also, the greenery calms me and helps me feel relaxed.

Original 'makes me calm and feel' is incomplete and awkward. Use verb 'calms me' and phrase 'helps me feel relaxed' to express the emotional effect clearly.