Singing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more concise, correct grammar, and use clearer linking. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons with examples. Avoid redundancy and long unclear phrases.

예시: Yes, I enjoy singing because it helps me relax and express my emotions. For example, after a stressful day I sing my favorite songs to unwind, and since I also play the guitar, singing often complements the music I make.

제안: Use clear past tense and precise vocabulary. Directly answer the question (yes/no) and briefly describe any lessons or practice with specific details. Avoid unclear words like 'provisionally' and incorrect grammar.

예시: Not formally, but I learned some basic singing techniques at school when we had music classes for exams. For instance, we practiced breathing exercises and simple scales for a few weeks.

제안: Answer directly and give a concise reason with one specific example. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague phrases like 'and such'.

예시: I usually sing for myself because it helps me relax, but I also enjoy singing for close family. For example, I sometimes perform at small family gatherings to cheer everyone up.

제안: Keep the answer simple and specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, then explain with one or two concrete reasons or an example. Avoid confusing metaphors and grammatical errors.

예시: Yes, I think singing brings happiness because it connects people and creates a joyful atmosphere. For example, at parties people often sing together and everyone feels more relaxed and cheerful.

제안: Respond directly and use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'vocalists' not 'focals'). Provide one specific preference or example to support your answer and use a linking phrase.

예시: Yes, I enjoy listening to other singers, especially vocalists with strong harmonies. For instance, I like listening to choir performances because their voices blend beautifully.

제안: Be precise and use correct terminology (e.g., 'pitch' and 'breath control'). Give a brief clear account of what you learned and state your future intention succinctly. Fix grammar and sentence structure.

예시: No, I haven't taken formal classes, only a few school lessons where we practiced pitch and breath control. I would like to take proper singing lessons in the future if I find the time.

× I like to sing because singing is refreshing and liberating in some ways.

✓ I like to sing because singing is refreshing and liberating in some ways.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses the present participle 'singing' as a gerund to describe the activity. It fits the tense and meaning. Keep as is.

× I like to voice out the memories and the rhythm I had in my mind, so it is very nice activity to do.

✓ I like to express the memories and rhythms I have in my mind, so it is a very nice activity to do.

The phrase 'voice out' is nonstandard; 'express' is natural. 'The rhythm I had' mismatches tense; 'rhythms I have' keeps present relevance. Also add the article 'a' before 'very nice activity'. Use present tense to match general preference.

× And maybe because I also like to listen to music and play some instruments as well, so singing is just part of me.

✓ Maybe because I also like to listen to music and play instruments, singing is just a part of me.

Starting with 'And maybe because' and ending with 'so' is redundant. Remove unnecessary conjunctions. Use plural 'instruments' without 'some' for natural phrasing and add article 'a' before 'part of me'.

× Provisionally no, however I learned few techniques during my school days.

✓ Not really; however, I learned a few techniques during my school days.

'Provisionally' is incorrect here; use 'Not really'. 'Learned few' needs the article 'a' to mean 'some' — 'a few'. Add punctuation for clarity.

× We ought to learn that for exam.

✓ We had to learn that for exams.

'Ought to' suggests recommendation; past obligation is better expressed with 'had to'. Also use plural 'exams' and add article if 'the exam' is intended. Adjust tense to past to match 'during my school days'.

× So everyone in our class, I guess they're exhausting.

✓ So everyone in our class, I guess, was exhausted.

'They're exhausting' incorrectly uses present continuous and changes meaning. The intended meaning is past passive/feeling: 'was exhausted'. Add commas for clarity and match past tense context.

× I don't have particular people or community that I want to sing for.

✓ I don't have any particular person or community that I want to sing for.

Use 'any' with negatives and singular 'person' for 'particular person', or keep plural 'people'. 'Community' can be used but 'any particular person or community' is clearer.

× I like to sing for myself because as I stated before, it feels refreshing, liberating and such.

✓ I like to sing for myself because, as I stated before, it feels refreshing and liberating.

Remove 'and such' which is vague; add commas around the parenthetical phrase. Keep parallel adjectives and omit unnecessary filler.

× So I think try to keep singing for myself or for my relatives is better.

✓ So I think keeping singing for myself or for my relatives is better.

Use the gerund 'keeping' after 'think' to form a noun phrase. Alternatively: 'I think it is better to keep singing for myself or my relatives.' This corrects word order and makes the sentence grammatical.

× Yes, of course, seeing intertwined people in some way, it also connects people because it shares laughter, it shares happiness between each other.

✓ Yes, of course. Singing brings people together in some way; it connects them because it shares laughter and happiness among each other.

'Seeing intertwined people' is awkward; 'Singing brings people together' is clearer. Use semicolon or split sentences for clarity. 'Between each other' should be 'among each other' or simply 'among them'.

× It's saying melodies that maybe other people wanted to join them, therefore it is makes people happy.

✓ It features melodies that may make other people want to join, so it makes people happy.

'It's saying melodies' is incorrect—use 'it features melodies' or 'it includes melodies'. 'Wanted to join them' mixes tense; use 'may make other people want to join'. Remove redundant 'it is makes'.

× Yeah, I also love to see other focals from other communities, groups, peoples.

✓ Yes, I also love to hear other vocalists from different communities and groups of people.

'See other focals' is incorrect; 'hear' and 'vocalists' or 'singers' are appropriate. 'Peoples' is incorrect in this context; use 'people' or 'groups of people'. 'Different' sounds better than repeating 'other'.

× I like to listen very beautiful voices and harmonies in a way.

✓ I like to listen to very beautiful voices and harmonies.

Add preposition 'to' after 'listen'. Remove 'in a way' which is vague. Adjective order is fine; keep 'very beautiful' or better 'beautiful' or 'truly beautiful'.

× No, only a few lesson during my school days.

✓ No, only a few lessons during my school days.

'A few' must modify a plural noun: 'lessons'. This keeps the past-tense context consistent.

× Like I learned how to reaching some pitch to have better birth control.

✓ For example, I learned how to reach certain pitches to have better breath control.

'Learned how to reaching' mixes forms; use 'reach' (base) after 'learned how to'. 'Some pitch' should be plural or 'certain pitches'. 'Birth control' is incorrect word choice; intended 'breath control' for singing.

× I think that's all. However I would like to join one if I have a time.

✓ I think that's all. However, I would like to join one if I have the time.

Use 'the time' with 'have' to refer to available time. Add comma after 'However' for clarity.