Singing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is natural and relevant, but it's a bit repetitive and contains some small grammar/word-choice issues. To improve, start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition (e.g., ‘It's more fun in the Philippines’ twice), and use concise supporting details with a linking phrase. Also correct small errors: say “you can see people singing karaoke” and remove unnecessary filler phrases.

예시: Yes, I enjoy singing because it’s an important part of Filipino culture. For example, karaoke is popular everywhere, and people often gather to sing together, which makes social events lively and fun.

제안: This answer is well structured with a clear topic sentence and relevant details. To reach a higher score, use smoother linking words, correct small phrasing issues (e.g., “learnt” → “learned” is acceptable but “take lessons” or “had lessons” sounds natural), and combine ideas to avoid redundancy. Be specific about what you practiced and give one concrete result.

예시: Yes, I took singing lessons at the Center for Pop Music in Ortigas when I was 12. During training I practiced vocal technique and performing in front of audiences, which helped me become much more confident on stage.

제안: Your enthusiasm is clear, but the response is long and slightly repetitive. Improve by giving a concise topic sentence and one or two specific reasons or goals. Avoid redundant phrases (“make my country proud of me and my parents proud of me”) and use linking words to organize the idea.

예시: I would like to sing for Filipinos and represent my country internationally. For instance, I hope to compete in an overseas contest so I can showcase Filipino talent and make both my family and fellow citizens proud.

제안: Good clear opinion and examples, but some sentences are repetitive and informal. Improve by giving a succinct topic sentence, one clear example, and a linking phrase to explain why music has this effect. Avoid colloquial fillers like “it's like magic” without elaboration.

예시: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because music can change our mood quickly. For example, when someone hears their favorite song, it can lift their spirits and help them forget worries, since music often triggers positive memories and emotions.

× And wherever you go in the Philippines, you can see people seeing the karaoke, which makes it fun to be here in the Philippines.

✓ And wherever you go in the Philippines, you can see people singing karaoke, which makes it fun to be here.

The error is the use of the preposition/verb phrase 'seeing the karaoke' which is incorrect; the correct verb is 'singing' with the noun 'karaoke' (no article 'the'). Use 'singing karaoke' to indicate the action people do. Also 'in the Philippines' is repeated unnecessarily; removing the repetition improves clarity and fluency.

× When I was 12 years old, my parents enrolled me in Center for Pop Music in Ortigas, Philippines, and part of my training was being confident in front of a lot of people.

✓ When I was 12 years old, my parents enrolled me in the Center for Pop Music in Ortigas, Philippines, and part of my training was learning to be confident in front of a lot of people.

Two issues: missing definite article before a named institution ('the Center for Pop Music') and awkward gerund 'being confident' after 'part of my training was'. Use 'learning to be confident' to show the training goal. This corrects article usage and improves verb form.

× So I think it's a good experience for me because I became more confident growing up.

✓ So I think it was a good experience for me because I became more confident as I grew up.

Tense consistency: the speaker refers to a past experience, so use past ('was') rather than present 'is'. 'Growing up' as a dangling -ing phrase is acceptable but 'as I grew up' is clearer and matches past tense. This fixes verb tense issue and improves sentence flow.

× I definitely want to sing for the entire Filipino people.

✓ I definitely want to sing for the Filipino people.

The phrase 'entire Filipino people' is unnatural; use 'the Filipino people' to refer to the population. This is not strictly a conjunction error, but falls under sentence naturalness and word choice; the corrected phrase is more idiomatic and grammatically correct.

× I would like to join a singing contest abroad in order for me to make my country proud of me and my parents proud of me as well and put the Philippines back to the map.

✓ I would like to join a singing contest abroad to make my country and my parents proud and to put the Philippines back on the map.

The phrase 'in order for me to make' is wordy; use 'to make'. Use parallel structure 'to make... and to put...'. Preposition error: 'back to the map' should be 'back on the map'. Also remove repeated 'proud of me' for conciseness and naturalness.

× Whenever I sing I feel so happy and it cheers up people.

✓ Whenever I sing, I feel so happy and it cheers people up.

Placement of the particle 'up' should follow the object ('cheers people up') for natural English. Also add a comma after the introductory clause. This corrects phrasal verb structure (present participle/particle placement).

× When you're sad and you hear your favorite song, you forget about being sad and become happy and it's like magic.

✓ When you're sad and you hear your favorite song, you forget about being sad and become happy; it's like magic.

The original contains run-on with several clauses joined by 'and'. Use a semicolon or split into two sentences to improve clarity. This addresses sentence structure by properly separating independent clauses.

× There's magic in music that makes people happy and proud.

✓ There is magic in music that makes people happy and proud.

Contraction 'There's' is acceptable in speech, but for formal clarity use 'There is'. No major pronoun error; this suggestion is minor stylistic change to full form. It keeps meaning identical while improving formality.