Singing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Câu trả lời của bạn có ý tưởng tốt nhưng cần sử dụng từ ngữ chính xác hơn và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp. Ví dụ, 'impress my emotions' nên là 'express my emotions', và 'release my sonnet' không phù hợp trong ngữ cảnh này. Bạn cũng nên sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it allows me to express my emotions openly and creatively, especially when I feel sad. Moreover, singing helps me release stress and improves my mood. Additionally, it's a wonderful way to connect with others and share my feelings through music.

제안: Bạn nên tránh lặp lại ý và câu không hoàn chỉnh như 'And I learned and also I learned to be more confident'. Hãy sử dụng câu hoàn chỉnh và liên kết ý tưởng rõ ràng hơn để câu trả lời tự nhiên và hiệu quả.

예시: No, I have never learned how to sing, but in the future, I would like to attend a singing class to improve my skills. I believe this will also help me become more confident.

제안: Câu trả lời của bạn hơi dài dòng và thiếu liên kết giữa các ý. Hãy sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn và tránh lặp từ như 'I can'.

예시: I want to sing for a band because it would make me more famous. Also, it would help me become more confident and allow me to meet new people and make friends.

제안: Bạn đã trả lời tốt nhưng cần chú ý sử dụng đại từ nhất quán và chính xác. Ví dụ, thay vì 'We can be very therapeutic', nên nói 'It can be very therapeutic'. Ngoài ra, hãy sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

예시: Yes, of course. Singing helps people express their emotions and feelings. It can be very therapeutic. For example, after a long day at work, singing can help them release stress and feel more relaxed and happy.

× Yes, I really enjoy singing because it's allowed me to impress my emotions openly and creatively for each instance I feel sad.

✓ Yes, I really enjoy singing because it has allowed me to express my emotions openly and creatively whenever I feel sad.

The phrase 'it's allowed' should be 'it has allowed' to correctly use the present perfect tense. Also, 'impress my emotions' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'express'. 'For each instance I feel sad' is better expressed as 'whenever I feel sad' for natural English usage.

× Singing helps me release my sonnet and improves my mood.

✓ Singing helps me release my emotions and improves my mood.

The word 'sonnet' is incorrect in this context; the intended meaning is likely 'emotions' or 'feelings'. 'Sonnet' is a type of poem and does not fit here.

× And I learned and also I learned to be more confident.

✓ And I have learned to be more confident.

The sentence is repetitive and awkward. Using present perfect 'have learned' fits better to indicate experience up to now. Also, the repetition 'I learned and also I learned' is redundant and should be simplified.

× I want to sing for a band because I want to be more famous and also I can be more confident and I can meet more people and make friends with.

✓ I want to sing in a band because I want to be more famous, be more confident, meet more people, and make friends.

The preposition 'for' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'in' when referring to being part of a band. Also, 'make friends with' is incomplete; it should be 'make friends'. The sentence is also improved by removing repeated 'I can' and using parallel structure.

× We can be very therapeutic.

✓ It can be very therapeutic.

The pronoun 'we' is incorrect here because the subject is 'singing', which is singular and non-human. The correct pronoun is 'it' referring to singing.