Singing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant, but try to avoid redundancy such as repeating 'even' and use more varied vocabulary. Also, keep your answer concise within 4-5 sentences.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy singing because it helps me relax and relieves my stress after a busy day. It is a hobby that brings me joy and peace during my free time.

제안: There are some grammatical errors and unclear phrases like 'the sinking'. Please use correct vocabulary and grammar. Also, add more details to enrich your answer and use linking words for coherence.

예시: Yes, I learnt how to sing when I was a child. My music teacher taught me the basics of singing, and I practiced regularly to improve my skills.

제안: Your answer has good ideas but is a bit long and repetitive with 'even'. Try to use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas clearly and avoid redundancy.

예시: I want to sing for my family and close friends because it motivates me to perform better. Sharing music with them creates a warm and joyful atmosphere.

제안: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and has some grammatical mistakes. Try to use linking words like 'because' and avoid repeating phrases. Also, be more specific with examples or reasons.

예시: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it helps us relax and express our emotions. For example, singing can lift our mood and connect us with others.

× Yes, when I was a child, my teacher taught me about the sinking and I put a lot of efforts on this.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my teacher taught me about singing and I put a lot of effort into this.

The word 'sinking' is a spelling mistake and should be 'singing'. Also, 'efforts' should be singular 'effort' when used with 'a lot of', and the correct preposition is 'into' not 'on'. This correction ensures proper past tense usage and correct collocations.

× Yes, when I was a child, my teacher taught me about the sinking and I put a lot of efforts on this.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, my teacher taught me about singing and I put a lot of effort into this.

The phrase 'put a lot of efforts on this' is incorrect. The correct preposition to use with 'put effort' is 'into'. Also, 'effort' should be singular in this context.

× I would like to sing for my family and even my close friends as it singing for them can be helpful for me and even motivates me to perform better and sharing music with loved ones create a warm and even joyful atmosphere.

✓ I would like to sing for my family and close friends because singing for them can be helpful for me and even motivates me to perform better. Sharing music with loved ones creates a warm and joyful atmosphere.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence with incorrect structure. 'As it singing for them' is incorrect; it should be 'because singing for them'. Also, 'sharing music with loved ones create' should be 'creates' to agree with the singular subject 'sharing music'. Breaking into two sentences improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I would like to sing for my family and even my close friends as it singing for them can be helpful for me and even motivates me to perform better and sharing music with loved ones create a warm and even joyful atmosphere.

✓ I would like to sing for my family and close friends because singing for them can be helpful for me and even motivates me to perform better. Sharing music with loved ones creates a warm and joyful atmosphere.

The phrase 'singing for them can be helpful for me' is correct, but the sentence needs better conjunctions and punctuation. Also, 'create' should be 'creates' to agree with the singular subject 'sharing music'.

× Absolutely, singing can be helpful to bring happiness as it is a way to relax our mind. And with the help of singing, we are able to express our feelings, emotion in front of other people by singing.

✓ Absolutely, singing can help bring happiness as it is a way to relax our minds. With the help of singing, we are able to express our feelings and emotions in front of other people by singing.

The pronoun 'our mind' should be plural 'our minds' because it refers to multiple people. Also, 'emotion' should be plural 'emotions' to match 'feelings'. This correction ensures proper pronoun and noun agreement.

× And yeah, I I can say that definitely singing can help us to stay relaxed and even come and even spread happiness.

✓ And yeah, I can definitely say that singing can help us stay relaxed and even spread happiness.

The sentence has repetition ('I I') and awkward phrasing ('come and even spread happiness'). Removing the repeated word and simplifying the sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.