Singing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to give a clear and direct answer first, then explain your reasons with more natural and fluent language. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm' to sound more confident. Also, clarify your ideas to make your answer easier to understand.

예시: Yes, I enjoy singing because it brings me happiness and freedom. In my country, women are often restricted from singing publicly, so singing allows me to express myself and feel liberated.

제안: Provide a clear and coherent response by directly answering the question and explaining your experience. Use correct vocabulary and avoid confusing phrases like 'not to be Polish.'

예시: I haven't formally learned how to sing, but when I was learning to play an Iranian instrument, my teacher gave me some basic singing tips to improve my performance.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and then provide specific reasons. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, correct grammar mistakes such as 'controlling by the government' to 'controlled by the government.'

예시: I don't have a specific person to sing for; instead, I want to sing for my country, especially for the women who are controlled by the government. Through my singing, I hope to inspire them to appreciate the value of freedom.

제안: Give a direct answer first, then explain your opinion clearly. Avoid vague phrases and filler words. Use linking words to organize your thoughts logically.

예시: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness to people because it allows them to express emotions and connect with others. However, the effect may vary depending on a person's personality and habits.

× I like, uh, singing, uh, since my government and uh, my country, we won't allow women to sing a song and be free.

✓ I like singing because in my country, the government doesn't allow women to sing songs freely.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'since' and has unclear prepositional phrases. 'Since' is typically used to indicate time, but here the intended meaning is 'because'. Also, 'my government and my country' is awkward; it should be 'in my country, the government'. The preposition 'to' before 'sing a song' is unnecessary, and 'be free' should be 'freely' to modify the verb 'sing'.

× I like singing and like a man to see how it feels and it makes me happy.

✓ I like singing and want to experience how it feels like a man; it makes me happy.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and lacks clarity. 'Like a man to see how it feels' is unclear; it should be 'want to experience how it feels like a man'. The pronoun 'it' is ambiguous; clarifying the subject improves understanding.

× Not actually, but when I went to set up play playing, it's an Iranian instrument, my teacher told me a little bit about how to sing and not to be Polish, and that's it.

✓ Not actually, but when I went to play the setar, an Iranian instrument, my teacher told me a little bit about how to sing and not to be flat, and that's it.

The phrase 'set up play playing' is incorrect; it should be 'play the setar'. 'Setar' is the correct name of the instrument. 'Not to be Polish' is likely a mishearing or mistranslation; it should be 'not to be flat' (referring to pitch). Past tense 'went' is correct, but the sentence structure and vocabulary need correction.

× There is, there is not a person, a specific person that I wanna sing it for, just for my country, just for the women in my country who are controlling by the government.

✓ There is not a specific person I want to sing for, just for my country and for the women in my country who are controlled by the government.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'There is, there is not' redundantly. The phrase 'who are controlling by the government' is incorrect; it should be 'who are controlled by the government' (passive voice). Also, 'wanna' should be 'want to' for formal speech.

× Well, actually if I want to say yes or no, I should have very good and professional reason.

✓ Well, actually, if I want to say yes or no, I should have a very good and professional reason.

The sentence is missing the article 'a' before 'very good and professional reason'. The modal verb 'should' is correctly used here to express obligation or necessity.

× But I don't know, you know, it depends on the correct the character of them and their habits.

✓ But I don't know, you know; it depends on their character and habits.

The phrase 'depends on the correct the character of them' is ungrammatical and redundant. It should be simplified to 'depends on their character and habits'. The sentence structure is improved by removing unnecessary words and correcting pronouns.

× So I can't be a strong and say yes or no to this question.

✓ So I can't be strong and say yes or no to this question.

The phrase 'be a strong' is incorrect; 'strong' is an adjective and does not need an article here. The sentence should be 'I can't be strong and say yes or no'. This corrects the sentence structure.