Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be careful with grammar and word choice, keep sentences concise, and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct comparative phrases ("rather than milk chocolate"), and use appropriate verb forms and articles. Limit to 3–4 sentences and add a brief reason with a linking word.

예시: Yes, I love chocolate, especially dark chocolate rather than milk chocolate because it is less sweet and gives me more energy. For example, I often have a small piece with my breakfast because it helps me wake up and concentrate.

제안: Reduce hesitations and correct grammar: use present simple for habits and correct verb agreement. State frequency clearly, then give one concise supporting reason using a linking word (e.g., "because" or "so"). Avoid repeating phrases.

예시: I usually eat chocolate once or twice a week, mostly in the morning because dark chocolate boosts my energy. As a result, it helps me feel more alert, similar to a mild cup of coffee.

제안: Remove filler words and make the sequence clear. Use past simple or "used to" consistently, and give a specific detail to support your memory. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, when I was a child I often ate chocolate, especially after my swimming lessons. I used to enjoy a large piece of dark chocolate with a ham-and-cheese sandwich as a special treat.

제안: Good idea and structure; improve fluency and connect ideas with linking words. Combine short sentences into one coherent answer, avoid fillers, and give one or two specific examples.

예시: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it is versatile: people enjoy it as snacks, spreads on bread, in desserts, or in hot drinks, so it suits many tastes and occasions.

제안: Clarify percentage expression and avoid repetitions. Use concise comparative phrases ("less sweet") and correct grammar. Give a brief reason and one supporting detail or example.

예시: My favorite chocolate is dark chocolate with 80–90% cocoa because it is less sweet and has a richer, more intense flavor. I prefer it with a cup of black coffee to balance the bitterness.

제안: Polish sentence structure and link ideas smoothly. Start with a clear opinion, then give two concise reasons, using linking words like "because" and "for example." Avoid repeating words.

예시: Yes, it is a good gift because most people enjoy chocolate and you can personalize it by choosing different flavors or arranging them in a special box. For example, you could include dark, milk, and flavored pieces to suit the recipient.

× I really love eating chocolate and I prefer dark chocolate rather than make chocolate because it's less sweeter and give you more energy.

✓ I really love eating chocolate and I prefer dark chocolate rather than milk chocolate because it's less sweet and gives you more energy.

Errors: 'make chocolate' is incorrect word choice; correct form is 'milk chocolate' (vocabulary). 'less sweeter' is ungrammatical comparative redundancy; use 'less sweet' or 'less sweet than' (adjective form). Subject-verb agreement: 'give' should be 'gives' to agree with singular noun 'it' (third person singular). Suggestion: use correct noun 'milk', use 'less sweet' (not 'less sweeter'), and make verbs agree with their subjects: 'it gives'.

× Generally I eat dark chocolate in the morning for breakfast or in the afternoon for lunch.

✓ Generally I eat dark chocolate in the morning for breakfast or in the afternoon for a snack or with lunch.

The original sentence is acceptable but slightly awkward and possibly semantically inconsistent ('afternoon for lunch' is odd). Improve clarity by choosing appropriate noun for the afternoon eating occasion. Suggestion: use 'a snack' or 'with lunch' to match typical usage.

× I want eat chocolate, uh, really often, just once or twice a week, generally in the morning because uh, umm, dark chocolate helps you with the umm, energy.

✓ I want to eat chocolate, uh, quite often, but usually just once or twice a week, generally in the morning because dark chocolate helps with energy.

Missing infinitive marker after 'want': 'want to eat' is required. 'really often' conflicted with 'just once or twice a week' so reworded to 'quite often, but usually just once or twice a week' for coherence. 'helps you with the energy' is awkward; better 'helps with energy' or 'gives you energy'. Suggestion: remember 'want to + verb' and simplify phrasing for clarity.

× So my brain when I eat chocolate, it, it have the same effect as caffeine.

✓ So when I eat chocolate, my brain has the same effect as when I drink caffeine.

Subject-verb agreement: 'it... have' is incorrect; third person singular requires 'has'. Sentence structure is also awkward; improve by placing 'when I eat chocolate' at start and clarifying comparison ('as when I drink caffeine' or 'as caffeine does'). Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with singular subjects and reorder for clarity.

× Yes, when I was a child, I, uh, usually ate a lot of chocolate, particularly after my, uh, swimming lessons.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I usually ate a lot of chocolate, particularly after my swimming lessons.

This sentence is grammatically correct aside from filler words and comma overuse. Tense 'was' and 'ate' correctly match past timeframe. Suggestion: remove fillers ('uh') and unnecessary commas for fluency.

× Umm, I used to eat uh, uh, large piece of dark chocolate with a sandwich with ham and cheese that I loved.

✓ I used to eat a large piece of dark chocolate with a ham and cheese sandwich that I loved.

Missing indefinite article before singular count noun: 'large piece' requires 'a large piece'. Word order: 'a ham and cheese sandwich' is the correct collocation. Remove fillers and redundant words. Suggestion: include appropriate article for singular nouns and use standard noun phrases.

× I think chocolate is a popular UH around the world because it's versatile and people enjoy eating in many forms as snacks or as spreads on bread.

✓ I think chocolate is popular around the world because it's versatile and people enjoy it in many forms, as snacks or as spreads on bread.

Extra filler 'a popular UH' and missing object after 'enjoy' ('enjoy eating' needs an object). Better: 'people enjoy it in many forms'. Also add comma for list clarity. Suggestion: avoid filler words and ensure verbs have appropriate objects.

× Also in a dessert and hot drinks.

✓ It is also used in desserts and hot drinks.

Fragment: original is not a complete sentence. Change to full sentence with subject and verb: 'It is also used in desserts and hot drinks.' Use plural 'desserts' and include verb 'used' to show function. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments by ensuring subject and verb are present.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is dark chocolate dark at between 80 and 90% because, uh, I don't love, uh, sweeter.

✓ My favorite chocolate is dark chocolate with between 80 and 90% cocoa because I don't like it very sweet.

Awkward and repetitive phrase 'dark chocolate dark at between 80 and 90%' corrected to 'dark chocolate with between 80 and 90% cocoa'. 'I don't love, sweeter' is incorrect: use 'I don't like it very sweet' or 'I don't like sweeter chocolate'. Suggestion: use 'like' with object 'it' and proper noun phrases for cocoa percentage.

× So I prefer something that it's a little bit better, uh, like dark chocolate.

✓ So I prefer something a little less sweet, like dark chocolate.

'Something that it's a little bit better' is ungrammatical; remove unnecessary 'that' and 'it's' and clarify comparison: 'a little less sweet'. Suggestion: keep clauses concise and avoid redundant pronouns.

× Yes, I think that it's a beautiful idea. Give some chocolate to others because everyone loves chocolate and you can decide which flavors, uh, put in a special box, you can, uh, personalize your gift.

✓ Yes, I think it's a wonderful idea to give chocolate to others because everyone loves it, and you can decide which flavors to put in a special box and personalize your gift.

Imperative fragment 'Give some chocolate' needs to be linked to previous clause or rephrased as infinitive 'to give chocolate'. Repetition and comma splicing fixed by joining clauses properly. 'Everyone loves chocolate' can be shortened to 'everyone loves it' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: use infinitive after opinion ('I think it's a good idea to...') and avoid comma splices by using conjunctions or separate sentences.