Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and overly informal phrases.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy chocolate because it cheers me up and is a comforting treat after a long day. For example, I often have a small bar with my tea in the evening, which helps me relax.

제안: Give a clear frequency statement and one brief reason or context. Use linking words to make it coherent and avoid exaggeration or childish repetition.

예시: I eat chocolate several times a week, usually in the evenings as a small treat. For instance, I often have a few squares after dinner to satisfy my sweet tooth.

제안: Answer directly and use past simple to describe habits. Provide one clear example and avoid repeating the same phrase. Use a linking phrase to introduce the anecdote.

예시: Yes, I did. When I was a child I often hid chocolates in my cupboard and ate them secretly. For example, I remember sneaking into my mother's room to take small treats after school.

제안: Start with a topic sentence giving the main reason, then add two specific supporting points with linking words. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., texture, versatility, cultural popularity).

예시: I think chocolate is popular mainly because of its taste and texture. Furthermore, it is versatile—used in desserts and drinks—and its comforting flavor appeals to people across many cultures.

제안: Give a direct answer and explain briefly why. Use linking words to contrast preferences and avoid hesitant repetition.

예시: My favourite is milk chocolate because it's creamy and not too bitter. I do enjoy dark chocolate occasionally for its rich flavor, but I prefer milk chocolate most of the time.

제안: Answer directly, then provide one or two specific reasons and an example. Use formal linking words (because, therefore) and avoid slang contractions for clarity.

예시: Yes, I think chocolate makes a great gift because it is widely liked and can suit many occasions. For example, I often give a nicely wrapped box of assorted chocolates for birthdays or as a thank-you present.

× Chocolates are very big part of my life.

✓ Chocolate is a very big part of my life.

The noun 'chocolate' is used in a general, uncountable sense when referring to the food in general, so use the singular uncountable form 'chocolate' with the article 'a' and the phrase 'a big part of my life'. Also add the determiner 'a' before 'very big part'. Suggestion: Use 'chocolate' (uncountable) or 'chocolates' with a quantifier (for example, 'many chocolates') depending on meaning.

× I love sweet ya.

✓ I love sweets, yeah.

The original mixes 'sweet' (adjective) with an informal 'ya'. To express liking the category of sweet foods use the plural noun 'sweets'. Also 'yeah' is the informal tag; use 'yeah' instead of 'ya'. Suggestion: Say 'I love sweets' or 'I love sweet things'.

× I used to sneak peek in my mom's room meet up and I used to store those chocolates and I used to eat them without telling her.

✓ I used to sneak into my mom's room and hide those chocolates, then I would eat them without telling her.

'Sneak peek' is a noun/phrase meaning a brief look; the correct verb phrase is 'sneak into' for entering secretly. 'Meet up' is incorrect in this context. Use 'hide' or 'store' correctly. Also combine repetition for clarity: 'I used to... and I would...' keeps past habitual meaning. Suggestion: Use 'sneak into' for entering secretly and 'hide' or 'store' for keeping items.

× I used to steal it from someone.

✓ I used to steal them from someone.

The pronoun 'it' refers to a singular item, but 'chocolates' (mentioned earlier) is plural, so use 'them'. Suggestion: Ensure pronoun number matches the noun it replaces.

× I I adore chocolates.

✓ I adore chocolates.

There is a duplicated subject 'I I', which is a simple typographical/repetition error. Remove the extra 'I'. Suggestion: Read sentences aloud to catch repeated words.

× Because how sweet it is, how you know how addicting it is, how the taste is so good.

✓ Because it's so sweet, very addictive, and the taste is so good.

The original has awkward and redundant phrasing ('how you know how addicting it is'). Use concise adjectives: 'so sweet', 'very addictive'. Also 'addicting' is informal; 'addictive' is preferred. Suggestion: Use concise parallel structure for lists: 'because it's X, Y, and Z'.

× It's so creamy, so Milky, so tasty.

✓ It's so creamy, so milky, and so tasty.

Capitalize 'Milky' is incorrect mid-sentence; 'milky' is an adjective and should be lowercase. Also include 'and' for natural coordination. Suggestion: Keep adjectives lowercase and use conjunctions in lists.

× I like milk chocolates.

✓ I like milk chocolate.

When referring to the type or flavor in general, use the uncountable noun 'milk chocolate' rather than the plural 'milk chocolates'. Suggestion: Use 'milk chocolate' or 'milk-chocolate bars' if referring to individual items.

× I like dark chocolates, but dark chocolates are like very, not very frequently.

✓ I like dark chocolate, but I don't eat it very often.

Use 'dark chocolate' (uncountable) for the flavor, and replace the awkward adverbial phrase with 'don't eat it very often' to express frequency. Also keep pronoun reference 'it' for the flavor. Suggestion: Use 'very often' or 'frequently' and proper negative construction.

× Yes, definitely Chocolates as gift is the best thing 'cause it's the sweetest thing you can give to another.

✓ Yes, definitely. Chocolate as a gift is the best thing because it's the sweetest thing you can give someone.

'Chocolates as gift' lacks the article and misuses plural. Use 'Chocolate as a gift' (uncountable, with article 'a') and 'because' instead of colloquial 'cause'. 'To another' is awkward; use 'to someone'. Suggestion: Use 'chocolate as a gift' or 'chocolates as gifts' appropriately and include necessary articles.