Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は直接的で分かりやすいですが、繰り返しや文法の誤りがあり、詳しい説明やつながりの語が不足しています。改善点：1) トピック文の後に理由を2つくらいに絞って明確に述べる。2) 接続語（for example, because, so）を自然に使う。3) 冗長表現を避け、文法（複数形・冠詞）をチェックする。例："I often buy chocolate at convenience stores because they are open late and nearby." のように繋げる練習をする。

예시: Yes, I enjoy eating chocolate because it tastes sweet and helps me relax after a long day. For example, I often have a small chocolate bar as a snack in the evening, and I usually buy it at a nearby convenience store because it is convenient and open late.

제안: 答えは頻度と理由を述べていますが、同じ情報が重複しており言い回しに不自然さがあります。改善点：1) 頻度を先に明確に述べ（topic sentence）、その後で理由を一文で示す。2) "on average" や "because" の位置や形を正しく使う。3) 冗長なフレーズを省く。例："I eat chocolate about twice a week because..." と簡潔に始める。

예시: I eat chocolate about twice a week. This is because convenience stores near my house sell inexpensive chocolate, so it is easy and affordable to buy.

제안: 内容は理解できるが、文法ミスや不自然な表現が多く、結論があいまいです。改善点：1) 過去時制を整える（had few chances, were regulated）。2) 短く明確に一貫した文を作る。3) 不要な断片や繰り返しを削る。例を一つ挙げて具体性を出すとよい（家族のルールや特別な機会）。

예시: I had few chances to eat chocolate as a child because my parents limited snacks. For instance, I was only allowed chocolate on special occasions like birthdays, so I remember eating it only occasionally.

제안: 理由を挙げていますが、文法（単数・複数、一貫した構文）や論理の明確さに改善が必要です。改善点：1) 主張を簡潔に述べ、補足で具体例を使う。2) "tend to be" などの表現を正確に使う。3) 地理的な例を出すときは注意して正確に表現する。

예시: I think chocolate is popular because it is affordable and widely distributed. For example, mass production and global trade make chocolate available even in rural areas, so many people around the world can enjoy it.

제안: 発音や単語の選択（"arbita" は不明）と文法の誤りが目立ち、文が断片化しています。改善点：1) 味の名前を正しく言う（e.g. "bitter" や "dark chocolate"）。2) 理由と例をつなげるために接続語を使う。3) 文を一つか二つのまとまった文にする。

예시: My favourite flavour is dark (bitter) chocolate because I don't like very sweet sweets. For example, I often eat a small piece of dark chocolate while working because its slight bitterness and caffeine help me feel more alert.

제안: 答えは賛成の立場を示しているが、最後の文が意味不明で混乱しています。改善点：1) 主張→理由→具体例の順で簡潔に述べる。2) 不明瞭な表現（"too heavy or too expensive"）は明確に。3) 文法と接続詞を整える。

예시: Yes, I think chocolate makes a good gift because it is affordable and often nicely packaged. For example, in Japan people give chocolates on Valentine's Day, which shows how suitable chocolate is as a small, thoughtful present.

× I often eat chocolates for my snack.

✓ I often eat chocolate as a snack.

Use singular uncountable 'chocolate' or the uninflected form when talking about the substance in general; also use the phrase 'as a snack'. This corrects third-person agreement style and countability.

× I usually buy it in convenience stores.

✓ I usually buy it at convenience stores.

Use 'at' to indicate the place where you buy things (a point or location). 'In' would suggest inside, but 'at' is the natural preposition for shops or establishments.

× I eat chocolate twice a week in average because I can easily access the chocolates in convenience stores near my house and it is very cheap in Japan, so I often eat chocolates in average twice a week.

✓ I eat chocolate twice a week on average because I can easily access chocolates at the convenience stores near my house and they are very cheap in Japan.

Use the phrase 'on average', keep 'chocolate' uncountable or plural consistently, and use 'they are' to refer to 'chocolates' (subject-verb agreement). Also avoid repeating the same phrase and restructure for clarity.

× I had a little chance to eat chocolate because eating snacks are regulated by my parents.

✓ I had few opportunities to eat chocolate because snacking was regulated by my parents.

Use 'few opportunities' for limited chance and 'snacking' or 'eating snacks' as a gerund phrase. 'Were/was regulated' should match tense; 'snacking was regulated' is natural. Also 'chocolate' as uncountable.

× So unless my parents admitted to eat chocolate, I couldn't eat chocolates.

✓ So unless my parents allowed me to eat chocolate, I couldn't eat it.

Use 'allow someone to do' rather than 'admit to' here. Use consistent pronoun/object 'it' or 'chocolate' and match modal past 'couldn't'.

× So I think. That I really ate chocolates when I was a kid.

✓ So I think I rarely ate chocolate when I was a kid.

Combine fragments into one coherent sentence and choose 'rarely ate' to express low frequency. Avoid sentence fragments.

× That is mainly because the price of chocolate tend to be very cheap, so many people can have opportunities to eat chocolates, even living in our rural areas, for example, I understand that people in Africa and other developing countries also have opportunities to. Eat chocolates.

✓ That is mainly because chocolate tends to be very cheap, so many people have the opportunity to eat it, even those living in rural areas; for example, I understand that people in Africa and other developing countries also have opportunities to eat chocolate.

Use 'tends' for third-person singular agreement with 'chocolate', 'opportunity' (singular) or 'opportunities' consistently, and 'eat it' to refer back to 'chocolate'. Also fix sentence fragments and punctuation.

× My favorite flavor is arbita taste because I do not like too sweet chocolate.

✓ My favorite flavor is a bitter taste because I do not like overly sweet chocolate.

Presumably 'arbita' was meant to be 'bitter'. Use 'a bitter taste' or 'bitter chocolate' and 'overly sweet' for clearer adjective use.

× For example, while I work I eat chocolates to refresh and bitter chocolates contains much caffeine so. Eating chocolate which has a bitter taste. Wake me up.

✓ For example, while I work I eat chocolate to refresh myself, and bitter chocolate contains a lot of caffeine, so eating chocolate with a bitter taste wakes me up.

Use 'refresh myself', singular 'chocolate' as general noun, 'contains' must agree with singular 'bitter chocolate', and 'a lot of caffeine' is natural. Combine fragments into a single sentence and use correct verb forms ('wakes').

× Yes, I completely agree because the prices of chocolates are not too expensive and the outlook of the chocolates is beautiful.

✓ Yes, I completely agree because chocolates are not too expensive and their appearance is attractive.

Simplify 'the prices of chocolates are not too expensive' to 'chocolates are not too expensive' and use 'their appearance' instead of 'the outlook of the chocolates'. This improves naturalness and corrects article usage.

× For example, on Valentine's Day in Japan, males give chocolates to women.

✓ For example, on Valentine's Day in Japan, men give chocolates to women.

Use 'men' instead of 'males' for natural collocation when referring to people in this context.

× This is a culture about it. Is very good at present because people think that it is too heavy or too expensive.

✓ This culture still exists, but opinions vary; some people now think it can be too heavy or too expensive.

Combine fragments, clarify meaning, and use natural expressions like 'this culture still exists' and 'opinions vary'. Avoid fragments and ensure correct verb forms.