Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural and concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., "one of the reasons"), avoid irrelevant phrases ("a lady"), and add one or two brief supporting reasons linked smoothly.

예시: Yes, I love eating chocolate and I have one almost every day. It helps me feel refreshed and gives me a quick energy boost after long hours of work, so I usually eat a small piece during my break.

제안: Be more fluent and avoid filler words. Start with a direct frequency statement, then add a concise supporting detail using a linking word (e.g., "because" or "so").

예시: I eat chocolate almost every day because I enjoy it with my coffee; whenever I have a short break, I usually have a piece alongside my cup.

제안: Keep it brief and use connecting words to show cause and effect. Replace vague phrases ("so troublesome") with specific concise language and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I ate a lot of chocolate as a child, which led to tooth decay. As a result, I needed dental treatment, which was time-consuming and uncomfortable.

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: use singular/plural correctly and avoid repetition. Give two clear reasons linked with cohesive phrases ("firstly", "secondly") and a concrete example.

예시: Chocolate is popular worldwide for two main reasons. Firstly, it is relatively affordable compared with luxury desserts, and secondly, it is widely available in supermarkets and convenience stores, so people can easily buy it.

제안: Use correct vocabulary («bitter» vs «dark» and avoid unclear terms like "beta 1"). Start with a direct statement, explain reasons concisely and use a contrast link for childhood vs now.

예시: My favourite is dark chocolate because it is less sweet and lower in sugar, which helps me manage my calorie intake. I preferred sweeter chocolate as a child, but now I appreciate the richer, slightly bitter taste of dark chocolate.

제안: Be concise and natural. State your opinion, give one clear reason and a brief example. Avoid repeating the same idea with similar words.

예시: Yes, chocolate makes a good gift because it is affordable and widely liked; for example, a box of chocolates is a convenient present for colleagues or friends without seeming overly expensive.

× One of the reason why a lady loves chocolate is that it makes me refreshed and energized after the long hours of work, so I usually take one at my break.

✓ One of the reasons why I love chocolate is that it refreshes and energizes me after long hours of work, so I usually have one during my break.

Error: 'One of the reason' should be 'One of the reasons' (quantifier/plural). Also 'a lady' is unnatural and inconsistent with 'me'; 'I love' matches the speaker. 'Makes me refreshed and energized' is awkward; use 'refreshes and energizes me'. 'At my break' should be 'during my break'. Suggestion: ensure noun following 'one of the' is plural, keep person consistent, and use natural verb forms and prepositions.

× It goes well with a cup of coffee. So whenever I have, uh, free time, I take, uh, chocolate with a cup of coffee.

✓ Chocolate goes well with a cup of coffee. So whenever I have free time, I have chocolate with a cup of coffee.

Error: 'It' is vague; use 'Chocolate' (general subject). 'I take chocolate' is awkward in this context; 'have chocolate' is more natural. Remove filler sounds. Suggestion: use clear subject for general statements and natural collocations like 'have chocolate'. Also maintain consistent tense and article usage.

× Yes, in my childhood I had a lot of chocolate, which caused my tooth decay.

✓ Yes, in my childhood I ate a lot of chocolate, which caused my tooth decay.

Error: 'had a lot of chocolate' is grammatically possible but 'ate' is the better past-tense verb for consumption. Use specific verb for clarity. Also 'tooth decay' is uncountable or could be 'tooth decay and cavities'; keep as 'tooth decay'. Suggestion: use precise verbs for actions in past.

× As a result, I had to go to see the dental doctors to treat my teeth.

✓ As a result, I had to see the dentist to have my teeth treated.

Error: 'go to see the dental doctors' is wordy and incorrect article use; 'the dental doctors' should be 'a dentist' or 'the dentist' depending on context. Better: 'see the dentist' or 'see dentists'. Also passive 'to have my teeth treated' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'see the dentist' and prefer concise phrasing.

× That was so troublesome and took a long time.

✓ That was very troublesome and took a long time.

Error: 'so troublesome' is informal but acceptable; replace with 'very troublesome' for clarity in spoken exam. Suggestion: choose adverb appropriate to register.

× Chocolate is quite popular all over the world because they are affordable at the lower prices and available at any store.

✓ Chocolate is quite popular all over the world because it is affordable at low prices and available in many stores.

Error: 'Chocolate' is singular but 'they are' uses plural pronoun — subject-pronoun agreement. 'At the lower prices' is awkward; use 'at low prices'. 'Available at any store' is too absolute; 'available in many stores' is more natural. Suggestion: match pronouns to antecedent and use natural collocations.

× First of all, on chocolate is affordable in comparison with luxury suites like macaron so available.

✓ First of all, chocolate is more affordable compared with luxury treats like macarons, so it is widely available.

Errors: 'on chocolate' should be 'chocolate'. 'Affordable in comparison with' is okay but 'more affordable compared with' is clearer. 'Luxury suites' is incorrect word ('suites' vs 'sweets'); use 'treats' and plural 'macarons'. Sentence structure was fragmented; add 'so it is widely available'. Suggestion: choose correct words ('sweets/treats'), use comparative form and complete the clause.

× I really like bitter chocolate to be honest.

✓ I really like bitter chocolate, to be honest.

Error: Missing comma before the parenthetical 'to be honest' and awkward placement. Grammatically acceptable otherwise. Suggestion: add comma and natural intonation pause.

× As an adult I need to manage my calorie intakes.

✓ As an adult I need to manage my calorie intake.

Error: 'calorie intakes' is incorrect plural; use the uncountable noun 'calorie intake' for overall consumption. Suggestion: use 'calorie intake' or 'calorie consumption' as uncountable.

× The beta 1 is better for me.

✓ The bitter one is better for me.

Error: 'beta 1' appears to be a mispronunciation or wrong word; likely intended 'bitter one'. This is a wrong word choice (pronoun/lexical). Suggestion: use correct word 'bitter' to refer to type of chocolate.

× In my childhood I used to love a sweeter chocolate, but as I get older I come to realize the goodness of bitter chocolate.

✓ In my childhood I used to love sweeter chocolate, but as I have gotten older I have come to realize the goodness of bitter chocolate.

Errors: 'a sweeter chocolate' is unnatural; use 'sweeter chocolate' without article. 'As I get older I come to realize' mixes present habitual with past change; use present perfect 'have gotten' and 'have come to realize' to indicate change up to present. Suggestion: use correct article usage and tense to show change over time.

× Yes, I think it is good to use chocolate as a gift for someone as it is affordable.

✓ Yes, I think it is good to use chocolate as a gift for someone because it is affordable.

Error: 'as it is affordable' is grammatically acceptable but 'because' is clearer for reason. Article use is fine. Suggestion: prefer 'because' for explanations.

× At lower prices, it is easier for the receivers to accept the gifts.

✓ Because of its lower price, it is easier for recipients to accept such gifts.

Errors: 'At lower prices' awkward; use 'because of its lower price'. 'The receivers' is unnatural; use 'recipients'. 'Accept the gifts' should be 'accept such gifts' for clarity. Suggestion: use natural collocations and correct nouns.

× If the gifts are too expensive, they might hesitate to accept their gifts.

✓ If the gifts are too expensive, recipients might hesitate to accept them.

Error: 'they might hesitate to accept their gifts' is confusing pronoun reference and redundant. Replace with 'recipients might hesitate to accept them' to clarify who hesitates and what 'them' refers to. Suggestion: avoid ambiguous pronoun references and redundancy.