Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Ответ должен быть более естественным и структурированным. Избегайте неясных выражений, таких как "there will be no more season for this". Лучше использовать простые и понятные фразы, объясняя причины вашего ответа.

예시: Yes, I really like eating chocolate because it helps me reduce stress. For example, eating chocolate makes me feel happier and more motivated every day.

제안: Ответ должен быть более чётким и грамматически правильным. Используйте связующие слова для логичности и избегайте ошибок в числах и выражениях.

예시: It depends, but usually I eat two or three pieces of chocolate a day. However, recently I noticed it affects my health negatively, so I am trying to reduce my consumption to one or none.

제안: Ответ должен быть более связным и грамматически правильным. Избегайте неясных выражений и используйте прошедшее время для описания прошлого.

예시: Yes, I often ate chocolate when I was a kid and I still enjoy it now. As a child, I really loved eating chocolate because it made me happy.

제안: Ответ должен быть более структурированным и логичным. Используйте связующие слова и избегайте грамматических ошибок.

예시: I think chocolate is popular worldwide for several reasons. Firstly, there are more than 100 types of chocolate, which gives people many choices. Secondly, chocolate helps reduce stress and makes people feel relaxed.

제안: Ответ должен быть более грамматически правильным и связным. Используйте подходящие слова и объяснения.

예시: My favourite flavours are chocolates with nuts and dark chocolate because dark chocolate is healthy for the brain. Also, since I am preparing for exams, dark chocolate is the best choice for me.

제안: Ответ должен быть более чётким и грамматически правильным. Избегайте неясных выражений и используйте связующие слова для логичности.

예시: Yes, I think chocolate is a good gift because almost everyone loves chocolate. Although people have different preferences, most enjoy eating it.

× Definitely yes, there will be no more season for this.

✓ Definitely yes, there will be no more reason for this.

The phrase 'there will be no more season for this' is incorrect because 'season' does not fit the context. The intended meaning is likely 'reason', so 'reason' should be used instead of 'season'.

× For instance chocolates help to reduce percent of stress and also maybe the key reason why I woke up every day.

✓ For instance, chocolate helps to reduce the percentage of stress and is also maybe the key reason why I wake up every day.

'Chocolates' should be singular 'chocolate' when referring to the substance in general. 'Percent of stress' is incorrect; it should be 'percentage of stress'. Also, 'woke up' is past tense but the context requires present tense 'wake up'.

× To be honest it depends, but in the normally day I would eat approximately 2 or 3 chocolates, but in recent time it gives a negative effect to my health.

✓ To be honest, it depends, but normally I would eat approximately 2 or 3 chocolates a day, but recently it has had a negative effect on my health.

'In the normally day' is incorrect; it should be 'normally' or 'on a normal day'. 'In recent time' should be 'recently'. Also, 'gives a negative effect to my health' should be 'has had a negative effect on my health'.

× So now I try to reduce the number of eating chocolates for one or no 0.

✓ So now I try to reduce the number of chocolates I eat to one or none.

'Number of eating chocolates' is incorrect; it should be 'number of chocolates I eat'. 'No 0' is incorrect and should be 'none'.

× yes I often eat the chocolate when I was a kid and also now, but when I was a kid I extremely enjoy eating chocolate and I think it will be happy to reach safe in now also.

✓ Yes, I often ate chocolate when I was a kid and also now, but when I was a kid I extremely enjoyed eating chocolate and I think it is still enjoyable now.

Mixing present tense 'eat' with past time 'when I was a kid' is incorrect; it should be past tense 'ate'. 'Extremely enjoy' should be past tense 'extremely enjoyed'. The phrase 'I think it will be happy to reach safe in now also' is unclear and corrected to 'I think it is still enjoyable now'.

× I think there's several reasons for this and I want to start from that.

✓ I think there are several reasons for this and I want to start with them.

'There's' is a contraction of 'there is' which is singular, but 'several reasons' is plural, so it should be 'there are'. Also, 'start from that' is incorrect; it should be 'start with them'.

× In a world right now there are more than 100 types of chocolates and from this they started being a popular and also chocolate helps to reduce stress and relax.

✓ In the world right now, there are more than 100 types of chocolate and because of this, they have become popular. Also, chocolate helps to reduce stress and relax.

'In a world' should be 'in the world'. 'Types of chocolates' should be 'types of chocolate'. 'Started being a popular' is incorrect; it should be 'have become popular'.

× I think that it'll be chocolates with a nuts or dark chocolates because dark chocolates is healthy for working of brain.

✓ I think that it will be chocolates with nuts or dark chocolate because dark chocolate is healthy for brain function.

'A nuts' is incorrect; 'nuts' is plural and does not need 'a'. 'Dark chocolates is' should be 'dark chocolate is' because 'chocolate' here is uncountable. 'Working of brain' is incorrect; it should be 'brain function'.

× Moreover, right now I'm getting ready to exams and this will be the best choice of the chocolate.

✓ Moreover, right now I'm getting ready for exams and this will be the best choice of chocolate.

'Getting ready to exams' should be 'getting ready for exams'. 'The best choice of the chocolate' should be 'the best choice of chocolate' without 'the'.

× I think so because I'm opening approximately all people in the world love chocolates and not everybody loves definitely type of the chocolate, but everyone likes eating it.

✓ I think so because I'm opening that approximately all people in the world love chocolate and not everybody definitely loves every type of chocolate, but everyone likes eating it.

'I'm opening' is incorrect; likely meant 'I'm opening' to 'I think'. 'Approximately all people' is awkward; better 'approximately all people' or 'almost everyone'. 'Not everybody loves definitely type' is incorrect; should be 'not everybody definitely loves every type'. 'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' when referring generally.