Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and clear by avoiding repetition and grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific reasons using linking words for coherence. For example, mention why you like chocolate and how its taste appeals to you.

예시: Yes, I love eating chocolate because it has a smooth and sweet taste that I have enjoyed since I was a child. Moreover, the combination of milk and sugar makes it very creamy and satisfying.

제안: Improve sentence structure and clarity by using linking words and correct grammar. Be specific about frequency and reasons for change in habits.

예시: Although I still like chocolate, I find very sweet things harder to enjoy as I get older. Therefore, I usually eat chocolate once every month or two.

제안: Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. Also, clarify the frequency clearly and correct grammar mistakes.

예시: When I was a kid, I loved chocolate and was used to its sweetness. Back then, I ate chocolate about once a week or every couple of weeks, which was more frequent than now.

제안: Avoid starting sentences with 'And'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, correct grammar and be more specific about marketing and emotional value.

예시: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it is more than just a snack; it symbolizes affection and love. Furthermore, effective marketing strategies have helped people everywhere enjoy this product.

제안: Focus on clear and relevant information. Avoid unrelated or unclear details like 'nutritions in our hair'. Use linking words and correct grammar to explain your preference and reasons.

예시: My favourite flavour is almond chocolate because almonds are nutritious and add a nice crunch. Although chocolate can be sweet and not very healthy, the almonds make it a bit better.

제안: Complete your sentences and avoid repetition. Use linking words to explain why chocolate makes a good gift, mentioning variety and packaging clearly.

예시: Chocolate is one of the best choices for gifts because it expresses feelings and emotions. Moreover, with the growing variety of flavours and attractive packaging, it suits many occasions.

× when we when I was young the chocolate were made with milk and sugar with sweet and it tastes very smooth so I like it even now.

✓ when I was young the chocolate was made with milk and sugar and it tasted very smooth so I like it even now.

The noun 'chocolate' is uncountable and treated as singular, so the verb should be 'was' not 'were'. Also, 'tastes' should be in past tense 'tasted' to match the past time frame 'when I was young'. The phrase 'with sweet' is incorrect and removed for clarity.

× Even though I like a chocolate but as my age grows I couldn't handle very sweet thing.

✓ Even though I like chocolate, as I get older I can't handle very sweet things.

The modal verb 'couldn't' is past tense, but the sentence refers to a current ability, so 'can't' is appropriate. Also, 'a chocolate' is incorrect; 'chocolate' is uncountable here. 'Very sweet thing' should be plural 'very sweet things' to be grammatically correct.

× So now I may have the chocolate once a month or once two months.

✓ So now I may have chocolate once a month or once every two months.

'The chocolate' is incorrect here; 'chocolate' is uncountable and does not need 'the'. Also, 'once two months' is incorrect; it should be 'once every two months' to express frequency properly.

× When I was a kid, as I loved the chocolate, so and our kids always accustomed to the sweetness and back then I had chocolate maybe once a week or once a couple of weeks.

✓ When I was a kid, since I loved chocolate, our kids were always accustomed to the sweetness and back then I had chocolate maybe once a week or once every couple of weeks.

'The chocolate' is incorrect; 'chocolate' is uncountable. 'Our kids always accustomed' is missing a verb; it should be 'our kids were always accustomed'. 'Once a couple of weeks' should be 'once every couple of weeks' to express frequency correctly.

× It's much frequent now.

✓ It's much more frequent now.

'Frequent' is an adjective and needs a comparative form 'more frequent' to compare frequency. 'Much frequent' is incorrect.

× And chocolate is not only a snack, it represents affection, love and emotion. And it's marketing is well done so people from all over the world enjoys this kind of product.

✓ And chocolate is not only a snack, it represents affection, love and emotion. And its marketing is well done so people from all over the world enjoy this kind of product.

'It's' is a contraction of 'it is' and incorrect here; the possessive pronoun 'its' should be used. Also, 'people' is plural, so the verb should be 'enjoy' not 'enjoys'.

× My favorite chocolate is the almond chocolate. Almond is is a kind of nuts that contains lots of vitamins and nutritions in our hair.

✓ My favorite chocolate is almond chocolate. Almonds are a kind of nut that contain lots of vitamins and nutrients for our hair.

'Almond' should be plural 'almonds' as it refers to nuts in general. 'Nuts' is plural, so 'is' should be 'are'. 'Nut' is singular; 'a kind of nut' is correct. 'Contains' should be 'contain' to agree with plural subject. 'Nutritions' is incorrect; the correct plural is 'nutrients'. 'In our hair' is better expressed as 'for our hair'.

× And sometimes when I eat chocolates I feel very sweet.

✓ And sometimes when I eat chocolate I feel very sweet.

'Chocolate' is uncountable and should not be pluralized as 'chocolates' here. The sentence means the sensation after eating chocolate, so singular uncountable form is correct.

× The chocolate is one of the best choice we can make to present our feelings and emotions to our friends and families.

✓ Chocolate is one of the best choices we can make to present our feelings and emotions to our friends and family.

'The chocolate' is incorrect; 'Chocolate' as a general concept does not need 'the'. 'Choice' should be plural 'choices' after 'one of the'. 'Families' should be singular 'family' when referring collectively.

× Especially now as the varieties of chocolates are growing and the design designs of this package and flavors are varying, we can.

✓ Especially now as the varieties of chocolate are growing and the designs of these packages and flavors are varying, we can.

'Varieties of chocolates' should be 'varieties of chocolate' because 'chocolate' is uncountable. 'Design designs' is redundant; 'designs' alone is correct. 'This package' should be plural 'these packages' to agree with 'designs'.