Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence and then give specific reasons. For example, mention your favourite chocolate and why you like it without repeating the same idea.

예시: Yes, I like eating chocolates, especially Dairy Milk, because it offers a variety of rich flavours that I enjoy.

제안: Avoid confusing pronouns and unclear references. Also, try to link your ideas logically using connectors. For example, explain how often you eat chocolate and then mention the health concerns clearly.

예시: I eat chocolates daily because they are tasty; however, I know that eating them every day can harm my teeth, so I try to limit my intake.

제안: Use past tense consistently and avoid grammatical errors. Also, organise your answer with clear linking words to explain your childhood habit and the role of your brother.

예시: Yes, I used to eat chocolates daily as a kid because they were tasty. My big brother also ate chocolates daily and often gave me some as gifts.

제안: Avoid repeating the same points and use linking words to make your answer coherent. Focus on the main reason and add a supporting detail clearly.

예시: Chocolate is popular worldwide mainly because of its delicious taste. Although some people are unaware of its harmful effects on teeth, they still enjoy eating it regularly.

제안: Be more precise and avoid unnecessary details. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

예시: My favourite flavour is Dairy Milk chocolate because it combines creamy milk with rich chocolate. I usually eat it about twice a week.

제안: Make your answer clearer by organising your ideas logically and using correct grammar. Use linking words to explain why chocolates make good gifts.

예시: Yes, chocolates are good gifts because many people in our country enjoy them. When someone is unsure what to give, chocolates are a safe and appreciated choice.

× Yes, I like eating chocolates because there are a lot of flavors of chocolates that I liked such as Dairy Milk chocolate as there are lot chocolate flavors in this chocolate and that's why I like this chocolate.

✓ Yes, I like eating chocolate because there are a lot of flavors of chocolate that I like such as Dairy Milk chocolate as there are lots of chocolate flavors in this chocolate and that's why I like this chocolate.

The word 'chocolates' is incorrectly used in plural form when referring to chocolate in general. 'Chocolate' as a substance is uncountable and should be singular. Also, 'liked' should be 'like' to match present tense. 'Lot' should be 'lots' or 'a lot of' to be grammatically correct.

× I often eat chocolates daily because the chocolates are very tasty, but he also knows the harmful effects of chocolates on our teeth.

✓ I often eat chocolate daily because chocolate is very tasty, but I also know the harmful effects of chocolate on our teeth.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as an uncountable noun when referring to the substance in general. Also, 'he' is incorrect pronoun here; it should be 'I' to refer to the speaker. 'Are' should be 'is' to agree with singular uncountable noun 'chocolate'.

× I often eat chocolates daily because the chocolates are very tasty, but he also knows the harmful effects of chocolates on our teeth.

✓ I often eat chocolate daily because chocolate is very tasty, but I also know the harmful effects of chocolate on our teeth.

The pronoun 'he' is incorrectly used to refer to the speaker. It should be 'I' to correctly indicate the speaker's knowledge.

× Yes, I often eat chocolates daily when I was a kid because the chocolates are very tasty and at that time my Big Brother gave me chocolates and he also eat chocolates daily because I want some chocolates from his and that's why he gifted me.

✓ Yes, I often ate chocolate daily when I was a kid because chocolate was very tasty and at that time my big brother gave me chocolate and he also ate chocolate daily because I wanted some chocolate from him and that's why he gifted me.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as uncountable noun. Past tense verbs 'eat' and 'want' should be 'ate' and 'wanted' to match past time. 'His' is incorrect pronoun; it should be 'him'. 'Big Brother' should be 'big brother' as common noun.

× Yes, I often eat chocolates daily when I was a kid because the chocolates are very tasty and at that time my Big Brother gave me chocolates and he also eat chocolates daily because I want some chocolates from his and that's why he gifted me.

✓ Yes, I often ate chocolate daily when I was a kid because chocolate was very tasty and at that time my big brother gave me chocolate and he also ate chocolate daily because I wanted some chocolate from him and that's why he gifted me.

The verbs 'eat' and 'want' should be in past tense 'ate' and 'wanted' to correctly reflect the past time frame 'when I was a kid'.

× Yes, I often eat chocolates daily when I was a kid because the chocolates are very tasty and at that time my Big Brother gave me chocolates and he also eat chocolates daily because I want some chocolates from his and that's why he gifted me.

✓ Yes, I often ate chocolate daily when I was a kid because chocolate was very tasty and at that time my big brother gave me chocolate and he also ate chocolate daily because I wanted some chocolate from him and that's why he gifted me.

The pronoun 'his' is incorrect; it should be 'him' as the object of the preposition.

× I think that the chocolates are very popular around the world only because of the taste, as chocolates are very tasty, but some some people did not know the harmful effects of the chocolates on our teeth, but they regularly eat chocolates and chocolates are very popular.

✓ I think that chocolate is very popular around the world only because of the taste, as chocolate is very tasty, but some people do not know the harmful effects of chocolate on our teeth, but they regularly eat chocolate and chocolate is very popular.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as uncountable noun. 'Did not know' should be 'do not know' to match present tense. Repetition of 'some' is a typo and removed.

× I think that the chocolates are very popular around the world only because of the taste, as chocolates are very tasty, but some some people did not know the harmful effects of the chocolates on our teeth, but they regularly eat chocolates and chocolates are very popular.

✓ I think that chocolate is very popular around the world only because of the taste, as chocolate is very tasty, but some people do not know the harmful effects of chocolate on our teeth, but they regularly eat chocolate and chocolate is very popular.

The phrase 'did not know' is incorrect in present context; it should be 'do not know' to indicate current lack of knowledge.

× My favorite flavour of chocolate is Dairy Milk chocolate, which is made by some milk and the chocolate flavour and that's very tasty chocolate and I like the chocolate most and I also open the chocolate nearly twice a week, the same chocolate I eat.

✓ My favorite flavour of chocolate is Dairy Milk chocolate, which is made with some milk and chocolate flavour and that's a very tasty chocolate and I like this chocolate most and I also open the chocolate nearly twice a week, the same chocolate I eat.

'Made by some milk' is incorrect; it should be 'made with some milk'. 'The chocolate flavour' is better as 'chocolate flavour'. 'That's very tasty chocolate' needs an article 'a'. 'I like the chocolate most' is better as 'I like this chocolate most' for clarity.

× My favorite flavour of chocolate is Dairy Milk chocolate, which is made by some milk and the chocolate flavour and that's very tasty chocolate and I like the chocolate most and I also open the chocolate nearly twice a week, the same chocolate I eat.

✓ My favorite flavour of chocolate is Dairy Milk chocolate, which is made with some milk and chocolate flavour and that's a very tasty chocolate and I like this chocolate most and I also open the chocolate nearly twice a week, the same chocolate I eat.

The preposition 'by' is incorrect with 'made'; the correct preposition is 'with' to indicate the ingredient used.

× Yes, I think that it is good to use chocolates as a gift to others because in our country most of the people eat chocolates and if a person did not decide that what gives the he gives to others then he gives chocolate as a gift to them and the other person is also happy to eat chocolates.

✓ Yes, I think that it is good to use chocolate as a gift to others because in our country most people eat chocolate and if a person has not decided what to give, he gives chocolate as a gift to others and the other person is also happy to eat chocolate.

'Chocolates' should be 'chocolate' as uncountable noun. 'Most of the people' is better as 'most people'. 'Did not decide that what gives the he gives' is incorrect sentence structure; corrected to 'has not decided what to give'. 'Gives chocolate as a gift to them' changed to 'gives chocolate as a gift to others' for clarity.

× Yes, I think that it is good to use chocolates as a gift to others because in our country most of the people eat chocolates and if a person did not decide that what gives the he gives to others then he gives chocolate as a gift to them and the other person is also happy to eat chocolates.

✓ Yes, I think that it is good to use chocolate as a gift to others because in our country most people eat chocolate and if a person has not decided what to give, he gives chocolate as a gift to others and the other person is also happy to eat chocolate.

The phrase 'did not decide' is incorrect in this context; it should be 'has not decided' to indicate present perfect tense for an action that affects the present.