Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by using complete sentences and avoiding repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, explain why you prefer dark chocolate with more specific reasons.

예시: Yes, I like chocolate, but I don't eat it very often, maybe once a month. I prefer dark chocolate because it is less sweet and has a richer taste compared to regular chocolate.

제안: Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically. Be more specific about why the chocolate helps you focus.

예시: I usually eat chocolate about once a month. I buy dark chocolate from Switzerland because it has a richer flavor. I enjoy it a lot, and I find that it helps me concentrate when I eat it.

제안: Try to avoid filler words like 'umm' and use more varied vocabulary. Use linking words to make your answer more coherent and concise.

예시: Yes, I loved chocolate as a child and ate it almost every day, both at school and at home. Back then, I preferred milk chocolate because of its rich and sweet flavor.

제안: Improve clarity and grammar. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide specific reasons why chocolate is popular.

예시: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because of its rich and sweet flavor. Moreover, it gives people a feeling of relaxation and can even help improve concentration.

제안: Make your answer clearer and grammatically correct. Avoid incomplete sentences and explain your reasons with linking words.

예시: My favorite flavor is dark chocolate because I don't like very sweet tastes. According to research, dark chocolate is healthier than other types.

제안: Use clearer and more natural expressions. Avoid vague phrases like 'maybe' and explain your ideas with linking words and specific examples.

예시: Yes, I think chocolate makes a good gift because it symbolizes love and sweetness. For example, on Valentine's Day, people often give chocolate to their loved ones, such as their girlfriends.

× I just eat once for a month.

✓ I just eat once a month.

The phrase 'once for a month' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'once a month' to indicate frequency. 'For' is not used with 'once' in this context.

× I prefer dark chocolate rather than basic chocolate because like dark chocolate is less sweet than.

✓ I prefer dark chocolate rather than basic chocolate because dark chocolate is less sweet.

The sentence has an unnecessary 'like' and an incomplete comparison ending with 'than'. The correct form removes 'like' and completes the comparison properly without 'than' at the end.

× Maybe once a month and I already bought it from the supermarket and I prefer the dark chocolate from Switzerland because the flavor it is richer in flavor.

✓ Maybe once a month. I already bought it from the supermarket, and I prefer the dark chocolate from Switzerland because it has a richer flavor.

The original sentence is a run-on and uses 'the flavor it is richer in flavor' which is redundant and incorrect. The correction separates ideas and uses 'has a richer flavor' correctly.

× I really enjoy it and it made me focus whenever I ate it.

✓ I really enjoy it and it makes me focus whenever I eat it.

The sentence mixes present tense 'enjoy' with past tense 'made' and 'ate'. To maintain consistency, present tense should be used throughout.

× Yes I did when I was a kid.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a kid.

A comma is needed after 'Yes' to separate the interjection from the rest of the sentence.

× Whenever I'm at home, I always eat them.

✓ Whenever I'm at home, I always eat it.

'Chocolate' is uncountable here, so the pronoun should be singular 'it' instead of plural 'them'.

× And when I was young I just prefer the milk chocolate which is rich and sweet flavor.

✓ And when I was young, I just preferred milk chocolate which has a rich and sweet flavor.

The sentence needs past tense 'preferred' to match 'when I was young' and 'has a rich and sweet flavor' to describe milk chocolate correctly.

× I think because of its flavors, chocolate is rich and sweet flavor.

✓ I think because of its flavors, chocolate has a rich and sweet flavor.

The verb 'is' is incorrect here; 'has' should be used to describe possession of flavor.

× Moreover, it's served con consumer a feeling like a relaxed feeling and we can concentrate whenever we are there.

✓ Moreover, it gives consumers a feeling of relaxation and helps us concentrate whenever we eat it.

The phrase 'served con consumer' is incorrect; it should be 'gives consumers'. Also, 'a feeling like a relaxed feeling' is awkward; 'a feeling of relaxation' is better. 'Whenever we are there' is vague; 'whenever we eat it' fits context.

× I love dark chocolate because I don't really like sweet flavors, so I choose the chocolate which is less sweet and I based on research you have known that dark chocolate is more better than.

✓ I love dark chocolate because I don't really like sweet flavors, so I choose chocolate that is less sweet. Based on research, you know that dark chocolate is better.

The sentence is run-on and awkward. 'More better' is incorrect; 'better' suffices. 'I based on research you have known' is incorrect; corrected to 'Based on research, you know'.

× Yes, I think it is good to use chocolate as a gift to order because maybe it shows love to others and how sweet it is.

✓ Yes, I think it is good to use chocolate as a gift to others because it shows love and sweetness.

'Gift to order' is incorrect; should be 'gift to others'. 'How sweet it is' is awkward; simplified to 'sweetness'.

× It's like the flavor of the chocolate.

✓ It's like the flavor of chocolate.

'The chocolate' is unnecessary here; 'flavor of chocolate' is more natural.

× For example, on Valentine's Day, people always buy chocolate for their beloved like their girlfriend.

✓ For example, on Valentine's Day, people always buy chocolate for their beloved, like their girlfriend.

A comma is needed before 'like their girlfriend' to clarify the example.