Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like "love it and maybe even enjoy" and clarify your replacement clearly. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

예시: Yes, I love chocolate, but since I'm leading a healthy lifestyle, I avoid eating it and instead enjoy chocolate-flavored protein puddings as a healthier alternative.

제안: Try to avoid hesitation sounds like "uh" and be more precise. Your answer is a bit contradictory; clarify your frequency and use linking words to explain your preference clearly.

예시: I used to eat chocolate frequently, but now I mostly eat chocolate protein pudding because it tastes similar and has fewer calories.

제안: Your answer has unclear parts ("radio sports") and some hesitation. Make sure your details are relevant and clear. Use linking words like "also" or "in addition" to connect ideas logically.

예시: When I was a kid, I used to eat chocolate almost every day and loved buying a chocolate bar after school. However, I have reduced my chocolate intake recently because I want to be healthier.

제안: Good content but start with a complete topic sentence. Use linking words to connect your points and avoid short, fragmented sentences.

예시: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it is sweet and delicious. For example, chocolate bars with nuts or caramel are especially mouth-watering. Moreover, they are affordable and often enjoyed with a cup of tea.

제안: Avoid filler words like "uh" and unclear expressions like "I'm a real child, that I'm a real adult now." Be more straightforward and use linking words to show contrast.

예시: I used to love white chocolate with hazelnuts the most. However, after my trip to Kazakhstan, I discovered that I prefer dark chocolate with almonds, which feels like a sign of growing up.

제안: Your answer is clear but repetitive. Avoid repeating phrases like "it's an appropriate gift" and use linking words to make your answer more fluent.

예시: I believe chocolate is a universal gift suitable for both children and adults. For instance, it can be a thoughtful present for a boss or a teacher, and since it's delicious, most people would appreciate receiving it.

× Of course I love it and maybe even enjoy, but now I'm leading a healthy lifestyle so I avoid eating it at all.

✓ Of course I love it and maybe even enjoy it, but now I'm leading a healthy lifestyle so I avoid eating it at all.

The verb 'enjoy' requires an object or a gerund to complete its meaning. In this sentence, 'enjoy' is missing its object, so adding 'it' clarifies what is enjoyed.

× I'm trying to replace chocolate eating chocolate protein puddings.

✓ I'm trying to replace eating chocolate with chocolate protein puddings.

The original sentence has a confusing structure. The verb 'replace' should be followed by the gerund phrase being replaced and then the new thing. Correcting the sentence clarifies the intended meaning.

× When I was a kid, I used to eat chocolate almost everyday, and I loved to buy a bar of uh, chocolate after school.

✓ When I was a kid, I used to eat chocolate almost every day, and I loved to buy a bar of chocolate after school.

The word 'everyday' is an adjective meaning 'commonplace'; the correct adverbial phrase is 'every day' meaning 'each day'. Also, 'a bar of uh, chocolate' is correct but the filler 'uh' should be omitted for clarity.

× Moreover, even one year ago, I used to eat radio sports every single evening, and now I understand how wrong I was.

✓ Moreover, even one year ago, I used to eat chocolate bars every single evening, and now I understand how wrong I was.

The phrase 'radio sports' is incorrect and likely a mishearing or typo. The intended phrase is probably 'chocolate bars', which fits the context. Also, 'every single evening' is correct.

× Some chocolate bars are mouth watering, especially with nuts or caramel, and it's not very expensive to buy a small chocolate to eat it with a cup of tea.

✓ Some chocolate bars are mouth-watering, especially with nuts or caramel, and it's not very expensive to buy a small chocolate to eat with a cup of tea.

The adjective 'mouth-watering' should be hyphenated. The phrase 'to eat it with a cup of tea' is awkward; removing 'it' improves the sentence flow and clarity.

× I think it's a universal gift for both kids or adults.

✓ I think it's a universal gift for both kids and adults.

The phrase 'both...or...' is incorrect; the correct correlative conjunction is 'both...and...'. This improves grammatical correctness and clarity.

× So yeah, it's an, it's an appropriate gift. It's an appropriate gift for either a boss or a teacher at school.

✓ So yeah, it's an appropriate gift. It's an appropriate gift for either a boss or a teacher at school.

The repetition 'it's an, it's an' is redundant and should be corrected to a single 'it's an' for clarity and fluency.