Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for naturalness. For example, instead of repeating 'chocolate' multiple times, use pronouns or synonyms. Also, clarify phrases like 'overburnt' to more common expressions such as 'overwhelmed' or 'stressed'.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate because it helps me relax and relieve stress after a busy day. I especially like chocolate fudge cake and chocolate chip cookies, which are my favourite treats.

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and grammatically correct. Avoid repeating words and improve linking for coherence. For example, use linking words like 'because' or 'so' properly and correct plural forms.

예시: I usually eat chocolate about twice a week, mainly when I feel stressed or down. Since chocolate is easily available in convenience stores, I often buy it to cheer myself up.

제안: Your answer is understandable but contains grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to use clearer sentence structures and avoid repeating the same idea. For example, say 'My parents didn't allow me to eat much chocolate because it could affect my health.'

예시: No, I didn't eat much chocolate as a child because my parents limited my intake of sweets to protect my health.

제안: Your answer covers good points but could be more fluent and avoid minor errors. Use linking words like 'also' or 'in addition' to connect ideas smoothly. Correct small mistakes such as '1 one' and 'for on'.

예시: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it is a comfort food. In addition, people often give chocolate as gifts on special occasions like Valentine's Day and Christmas.

제안: Try to avoid repetition and unclear phrases. For example, 'I hate tasting better chocolate' is unclear. Instead, say 'I don't like the bitterness of dark chocolate'. Also, use linking words like 'because' to explain your preference clearly.

예시: My favourite flavour is milk chocolate because it is sweet and has a rich, creamy texture. I don't enjoy dark chocolate since it tastes bitter to me.

제안: Your answer is thoughtful but could be more concise and grammatically correct. Avoid using both 'although' and 'however' together. Also, use singular/plural forms correctly and improve linking for clarity.

예시: Although many people give chocolate as gifts on special occasions, I prefer not to because everyone has different favourite treats, and some may have dietary restrictions or milk intolerance.

× The reason that I really love and crave chocolate is because it alleviates my pressure well while I eat chocolate, so I wouldn't be that pressured by the work and overburnt.

✓ The reason that I really love and crave chocolate is because it alleviates my pressure well while I am eating chocolate, so I wouldn't be that pressured by the work and overburnt.

The phrase 'while I eat chocolate' should use the present participle form 'while I am eating chocolate' to indicate an action happening at the same time as alleviating pressure. This is a common usage in English to express simultaneous actions.

× There isn't a specific time frame but I would usually buy chocolate when I crave them and it's usually like twice a week because chocolate is basically sold everywhere in convenience store so when I'm I feel down or I'm really pressured I would usually buy.

✓ There isn't a specific time frame but I would usually buy chocolate when I crave it and it's usually like twice a week because chocolate is basically sold everywhere in convenience stores so when I feel down or I'm really pressured I would usually buy some.

The pronoun 'them' is incorrect because 'chocolate' is an uncountable noun and should be referred to as 'it'. Also, 'convenience store' should be plural 'convenience stores' to match the general statement. Adding 'some' at the end clarifies the quantity of chocolate bought.

× No, the reason is due to my parents and they don't really allow me to eat a lot of sweet products because it's affect it will affect your health so they wouldn't allow me to purchase chocolate when I was younger.

✓ No, the reason is because of my parents and they don't really allow me to eat a lot of sweet products because it will affect your health so they wouldn't allow me to purchase chocolate when I was younger.

The phrase 'due to my parents' is better expressed as 'because of my parents' to indicate cause. Also, 'it's affect' is incorrect and should be 'it will affect' to correctly express future impact on health.

× I think that chocolate is 1 one of the comfort food for people and apart from that, chocolate is always regarded as one of the presents for on different special occasions like Valentine's Day or Christmas, people which would usually buy a box of chocolate and then give to others.

✓ I think that chocolate is one of the comfort foods for people and apart from that, chocolate is always regarded as one of the presents for different special occasions like Valentine's Day or Christmas, when people usually buy a box of chocolate and then give it to others.

'Comfort food' should be plural 'comfort foods' when referring to a category. The phrase 'for on different special occasions' is incorrect; 'for different special occasions' is correct. Also, 'people which' should be 'people who' or rephrased as 'when people'. Adding 'it' clarifies the object given.

× My favorite flavor is milk chocolate. There are a multitude of flavors of chocolate in the world ranging from dark chocolate to white chocolate and milk chocolate. But I personally prefer Milky ones because they are sweet and I hate tasting better chocolate, so milk chocolate gives me a rich texture in my mouth.

✓ My favorite flavor is milk chocolate. There are a multitude of flavors of chocolate in the world ranging from dark chocolate to white chocolate and milk chocolate. But I personally prefer milky ones because they are sweet and I hate tasting bitter chocolate, so milk chocolate gives me a rich texture in my mouth.

'Milky' should not be capitalized. The phrase 'I hate tasting better chocolate' is incorrect; it should be 'I hate tasting bitter chocolate' to express dislike of the taste. 'Bitter' is the correct adjective here.

× Although most people would give out chocolate as a form of present during some special occasions, however, I personally I do not give out chocolate as presents as every person have their own unique comfort food and some people might not enjoy eating chocolate due to the dietary issues or maybe they might be intolerant to milk.

✓ Although most people would give out chocolate as a form of present during some special occasions, I personally do not give out chocolate as presents because every person has their own unique comfort food and some people might not enjoy eating chocolate due to dietary issues or might be intolerant to milk.

Using both 'Although' and 'however' together is redundant; only one is needed. 'Have' should be 'has' to agree with singular 'every person'. 'The dietary issues' should be 'dietary issues' without 'the' for general reference. Removing 'maybe' improves clarity.