Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to give a clear and complete answer without pauses or incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and explain reasons more naturally. Avoid redundancy and improve fluency.

예시: I don't like eating chocolate because I find it quite bitter and sometimes it even gives me a headache. Therefore, I usually avoid eating it.

제안: Try to organize your answer more clearly with linking words and avoid fragmented sentences. Be concise and directly answer the question with supporting details.

예시: I seldom eat chocolate, but I do enjoy Bounty bars because I like the coconut filling inside. So, I eat chocolate only occasionally.

제안: Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear ideas. Focus on directly answering the question with clear supporting details. Use linking words to improve coherence.

예시: I didn't often eat chocolate when I was a kid because I didn't like it. Instead, I usually ate vegetables, fruits, and other snacks.

제안: Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid hesitation. Use linking words to connect your thoughts logically and provide specific reasons.

예시: Although I don't find chocolate very special, I think it is popular worldwide because of its unique taste, the way it is made, and its luxurious image.

제안: Avoid fragmented sentences and hesitations. Give a clear topic sentence and support it with reasons using linking words.

예시: My favorite flavor of chocolate is strawberry chocolate because I really like strawberries, and the combination makes it taste better than plain chocolate.

제안: Try to combine your ideas into complete sentences and use linking words to make your answer more coherent and natural.

예시: Personally, I think chocolate is a good gift because many people like it, and it can help relieve stress, which is common these days.

× I don't like eating chocolate because.

✓ I don't like eating chocolate because I feel it's very bitter.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'because' without completing the reason, which is a sentence structure error. The correction completes the thought to make a full sentence.

× It's very. Non tasty.

✓ It's very not tasty.

'Non tasty' is incorrect; the correct negation is 'not tasty'. Also, the period after 'very' is incorrect punctuation.

× I feel like it. Gives me a headache sometimes if it's a chunk of.

✓ I feel like it gives me a headache sometimes if it's a chunk of chocolate.

The sentence is fragmented and incomplete. The correction combines the fragments and completes the thought for clarity.

× I very seldom do because. Eating chocolate.

✓ I very seldom do because I only eat chocolate occasionally.

The original sentence is fragmented and incomplete. The correction forms a complete sentence explaining the reason.

× I only do it when it's bounties.

✓ I only do it when it's Bounty chocolate.

'Bounties' is incorrect as a plural brand name; 'Bounty' is the correct singular brand name. Also, the sentence is clarified.

× I like the inside of it.

✓ I like the inside of it.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× As long as far as I can remember, I don't really like chocolate when I was a kid so I don't have it often.

✓ As far as I can remember, I didn't really like chocolate when I was a kid, so I didn't have it often.

The phrase 'As long as far as' is incorrect; 'As far as' is correct. Also, tense consistency requires past tense 'didn't' for past time reference.

× But. I've eaten vegetables, fruits and. Aye. Take in a lot of snacks, but just now.

✓ But I've eaten vegetables, fruits, and taken in a lot of snacks, but not recently.

The original sentence is fragmented and uses 'Aye' incorrectly. The correction clarifies and corrects verb form to 'taken' and improves sentence flow.

× To be honest, I don't know why chocolate is popular around the world to me.

✓ To be honest, I don't know why chocolate is popular around the world.

The phrase 'to me' is unnecessary and awkward here; removing it improves clarity.

× It's not that big of a deal and it's not that special, but.

✓ It's not that big of a deal and it's not that special, but for some reason, others like it.

The original sentence ends abruptly with 'but.' The correction completes the thought.

× For some reason, for other people, I think it's because the taste, how it's made, the luxury's of it, how hard it is to get.

✓ For some reason, other people like it because of the taste, how it's made, the luxury of it, and how hard it is to get.

'Luxury's' is incorrect possessive; 'luxury' is correct. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammar.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate would be. I don't know if it's a flavor or not, but it's the strawberry chocolate.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate would be strawberry chocolate, though I'm not sure if it's officially a flavor.

The original sentence is fragmented. The correction combines the ideas into a clear sentence.

× 'Cause I really like strawberry and to me. Eating strawberry chocolate isn't as bad as eating just chocolate straw.

✓ Because I really like strawberry, and to me, eating strawberry chocolate isn't as bad as eating just plain chocolate.

The original sentence is fragmented and uses informal 'Cause'. The correction uses 'Because' and clarifies the comparison.

× It has strawberry flavor.

✓ It has a strawberry flavor.

The noun 'flavor' requires an article 'a' before it in this context.

× Personally, I think it's really good to get chocolate as gifts to others.

✓ Personally, I think it's really good to give chocolate as gifts to others.

The verb 'get' is incorrect here; 'give' is appropriate when talking about presenting gifts to others.

× Because. They would have more real liking to it.

✓ Because they would like it more genuinely.

The original sentence is fragmented and awkward. The correction forms a complete and natural sentence.

× And considering how people are stressed these days, it would really be beneficial to them.

✓ Considering how stressed people are these days, it would really be beneficial to them.

The sentence is acceptable but can be improved by removing 'And' at the beginning for better flow.