Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding repetition and grammatical errors. Use clear and simple sentences to express your feelings about chocolate. Also, avoid redundant phrases like "eating a chocolate, eating every part of it" and focus on a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.

예시: Yes, I love eating chocolate because its sweetness and rich flavor make it a truly delightful treat. Every bite feels like a special experience that I really enjoy.

제안: Improve sentence structure and grammar for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly, and avoid redundancy such as "each, every each and every piece." Keep your answer within 5 sentences and be more specific about your habits.

예시: I usually eat chocolate on weekends because I focus on healthy eating during the weekdays. When the weekend comes, I relax and enjoy chocolate without any restrictions.

제안: Work on sentence clarity and grammar. Avoid confusing phrases like "tasteful than the experience of meeting it." Use linking words to explain the change in your chocolate eating habits clearly and logically.

예시: Yes, I used to eat chocolate almost every day as a child because I really enjoyed its taste. However, after I became ill and was hospitalized, I reduced my chocolate intake and now only eat it on weekends.

제안: Simplify your answer and avoid repetitive and awkward phrases like "fascinated fascinating experience." Use linking words to organize your ideas logically and be more specific about why chocolate is popular globally.

예시: Chocolate is popular worldwide because of its delicious taste and unique flavors. Many people enjoy it, which makes it a favorite treat across different cultures.

제안: Clarify your opinion and avoid confusing comparisons. Use clear sentences and linking words to explain why you prefer milk chocolate over others. Keep your answer concise and focused.

예시: My favorite chocolate flavor is milk chocolate because I find it sweeter and more enjoyable than dark chocolate. I prefer it because it tastes smoother and richer to me.

제안: Improve grammar and sentence structure for clarity. Avoid unclear phrases like "Janet is enjoyed by almost every people." Use linking words to explain why chocolate makes a good gift and be more specific about its appeal.

예시: Yes, chocolate is a great gift because it is a sweet treat that many people enjoy. Giving chocolate can make others happy, so it is a popular choice for presents.

× Yes, just like everyone, I love to eat chocolate because eating a chocolate, eating every part of it feels like we're experience.

✓ Yes, just like everyone, I love to eat chocolate because eating chocolate, every part of it feels like we're experiencing.

The phrase 'we're experience' is incorrect because 'experience' should be in the present participle form 'experiencing' to match the continuous tense indicated by 'we're' (we are). Also, 'a chocolate' is incorrect; 'chocolate' is an uncountable noun here and should not have an article.

× We're experiencing heaven on earth 'cause because of the sweetness and along with that, the flavors and proper taste which we experience is one-of-a-kind.

✓ We're experiencing heaven on earth because of the sweetness and, along with that, the flavors and proper taste which we experience are one-of-a-kind.

The sentence uses 'is' to refer to multiple subjects ('sweetness', 'flavors', and 'taste'), so the verb should be plural 'are'. Also, 'cause because' is redundant; 'because' alone is sufficient.

× Usually I chocolates mostly in my weekends because in week days I'm not allowed to eat chocolates because of maintaining my health and I eat healthy food during the week days.

✓ Usually I eat chocolates mostly on my weekends because on weekdays I'm not allowed to eat chocolates to maintain my health and I eat healthy food during the weekdays.

The original sentence is missing the verb 'eat' after 'I'. Also, 'in my weekends' should be 'on my weekends' because we use 'on' with days and weekends. 'Week days' should be one word 'weekdays'. 'Because of maintaining my health' is awkward; 'to maintain my health' is better.

× But in the weekend I just feel completely relaxed and I'm free to enjoy the each, every each and every piece of chocolate.

✓ But on the weekend I just feel completely relaxed and I'm free to enjoy each and every piece of chocolate.

'In the weekend' should be 'on the weekend' because 'on' is used for days and weekends. Also, 'the each, every each and every piece' is redundant and incorrect; it should be 'each and every piece'.

× Yes, when I was a kid I used to eat chocolate almost every day because it was really tasteful than the experience of meeting it was one-of-a-kind.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid I used to eat chocolate almost every day because it was really tastier and the experience of eating it was one-of-a-kind.

'Tasteful' is incorrect here; the correct comparative adjective is 'tastier'. Also, 'the experience of meeting it' is incorrect; it should be 'the experience of eating it'.

× But ever since I got ill and I got admitted in the hospital has stopped eating chocolate that much and I prefer to eat only in the weekends.

✓ But ever since I got ill and was admitted to the hospital, I have stopped eating chocolate that much and I prefer to eat it only on the weekends.

The original sentence lacks a clear subject for 'has stopped'; it should be 'I have stopped'. Also, 'admitted in the hospital' should be 'admitted to the hospital'. 'Only in the weekends' should be 'only on the weekends'. Added 'it' after 'eat' for clarity.

× The main reason why chocolate is popular around the world is because of its taste and it's delighted flavors and combining it, it gives a piece of chocolate which is fascinated fascinating experience of eating it and along with that it is enjoyed by each and every people in the world so it is more popular in the world.

✓ The main reason why chocolate is popular around the world is because of its taste and its delightful flavors. Combining these, a piece of chocolate gives a fascinating experience of eating it, and along with that, it is enjoyed by every person in the world, so it is very popular globally.

'It's delighted flavors' should be 'its delightful flavors' (possessive pronoun and correct adjective). 'Fascinated' is incorrect; 'fascinating' is the correct adjective. 'Each and every people' is incorrect; 'every person' is correct because 'people' is plural. The sentence was also run-on and needed to be split for clarity.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate is milk chocolate because it is really tasteful than fascinating flavor of it and it allows me to enjoy each and every piece of it as compared to the other chocolates as dark chocolate which is a little bit better as compared to the milk chocolate and that's why I love my eating milk chocolates.

✓ My favorite flavor of chocolate is milk chocolate because it has a more pleasant flavor and it allows me to enjoy each and every piece of it compared to other chocolates like dark chocolate, which is a little better than milk chocolate, and that's why I love eating milk chocolates.

'Tasteful' is incorrectly used; 'pleasant flavor' or 'better flavor' is more appropriate. The sentence structure is confusing and redundant; it was simplified for clarity. 'Love my eating' is incorrect; it should be 'love eating'.

× Yes, definitely the chocolates can be used as to give to others because chocolate is one of a small snack or desert which is sweet.

✓ Yes, definitely chocolates can be given to others because chocolate is a small sweet snack or dessert.

'Used as to give to others' is awkward; 'can be given to others' is correct. 'One of a small snack' is incorrect; 'a small sweet snack' is correct. 'Desert' is a misspelling; the correct word is 'dessert'.

× Janet is enjoyed by almost every people and along with that they can get really happy after eating each and every piece of it.

✓ It is enjoyed by almost everyone and, along with that, people can get really happy after eating each and every piece of it.

'Janet' seems to be a typo and should be 'It' referring to chocolate. 'Every people' is incorrect; 'everyone' or 'every person' is correct. 'They' is ambiguous; replaced with 'people' for clarity.

× So it can be preferred for giving us gifts to other people.

✓ So it can be preferred as a gift to give to other people.

'Preferred for giving us gifts to other people' is awkward and incorrect. The correct phrase is 'preferred as a gift to give to other people'.