Chocolate— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it could be more concise and natural. Avoid redundancy such as "but however" and incomplete sentences. Try to use linking words smoothly and complete your thoughts fully.

예시: I've loved chocolate since I was a kid, especially dark chocolate because it's less sweet and has a rich cocoa flavor. I usually prefer chocolate with 70 to 80% cocoa content.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains incomplete sentences. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid vague phrases like "different drains or food deserts." Use linking words to connect ideas logically and be specific about frequency.

예시: I haven't eaten a chocolate bar in a long time, but I do have chocolate in desserts or drinks about once or twice a week.

제안: Your answer has several unclear phrases and grammatical errors. Make sure to complete your sentences and explain your ideas clearly. Use linking words to connect your childhood habits with your family's health history.

예시: I used to eat chocolate and other sweet treats more often when I was a kid. However, since my family has a history of diabetes, I have been advised to limit sugary foods as I grew older.

제안: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and incomplete. Try to express your ideas more clearly and avoid redundancy. Provide specific reasons why chocolate is popular and use linking words to organize your answer.

예시: I think chocolate is popular worldwide because it has a unique and rich flavor that many people enjoy. Also, it has been part of many cultures for a long time, making it a common and beloved treat.

제안: Your answer is understandable but contains fragmented sentences and some redundancy. Try to speak in complete sentences and avoid repeating the same idea. Use linking words to connect your points smoothly.

예시: As I mentioned earlier, my favourite chocolate flavour is dark chocolate because I prefer less sugary options. However, I occasionally enjoy white chocolate as well.

제안: Your answer is fragmented and lacks fluency. Try to form complete sentences and use linking words to make your answer coherent. Also, provide specific examples to support your opinion.

예시: From my perspective, giving chocolate as a gift is a great idea if the person enjoys sweet treats. For example, bringing chocolate when invited to dinner can be the cherry on top of the occasion.

× Ever since I was a kid I've always loved chocolate, but however I only prefer dark chocolate since it's not too sweet and I love the cocoa flavor in it.

✓ Ever since I was a kid I've always loved chocolate; however, I only prefer dark chocolate since it's not too sweet and I love the cocoa flavor in it.

The use of both 'but' and 'however' together is redundant and incorrect. 'However' is a conjunctive adverb and should be used with a semicolon or period before it, not with 'but'. Use either 'but' or 'however' correctly to improve sentence flow.

× I kind of prefer the darker side, from about 70 to 80% of cocoa and.

✓ I kind of prefer the darker side, from about 70 to 80% cocoa.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and' which is incomplete and incorrect. Removing 'and' completes the sentence properly. Also, '70 to 80% cocoa' is the correct phrase without 'of' after the percentage.

× To be honest, I haven't had any bar of chocolate in quite a long time. But I do taste them in different. Drains or food deserts that I consume on daily basis or a weekly basis.

✓ To be honest, I haven't had any bar of chocolate in quite a long time, but I do taste it in different drinks or food desserts that I consume on a daily or weekly basis.

The original sentences are fragmented and contain incorrect words ('Drains' instead of 'drinks', 'deserts' instead of 'desserts'). Also, 'any bar of chocolate' should be 'any bars of chocolate' or 'a bar of chocolate'. Combining the sentences and correcting vocabulary improves clarity and grammar.

× But I would say on average I think I have chocolate.

✓ But I would say on average I do have chocolate.

The phrase 'I think I have chocolate' is awkward and unclear. Using 'I do have chocolate' is clearer and grammatically correct in this context.

× I would say I have. Eden Chocolaty food or trains more often during my childhood.

✓ I would say I had eaten chocolatey food or treats more often during my childhood.

The sentence has incorrect tense and vocabulary ('Eden' likely meant 'eaten', 'trains' should be 'treats'). Using past perfect or simple past 'had eaten' fits the past context better.

× An as I grow up, my family has a history of diabetes, so it is recommended that I should not take too many sugary foods such.

✓ And as I grew up, my family had a history of diabetes, so it was recommended that I should not consume too many sugary foods.

The sentence has incorrect prepositions and tense. 'An' should be 'And', 'grow' should be past tense 'grew' to match the past context, and 'take' is better replaced with 'consume' for food. Also, the sentence was incomplete and needed completion.

× I reckon that chocolate is a really unique but also strong and significant flavor that had that have existed for really long time around the world and it it is also one of the basic flavors that has appeared. Really commonly in our.

✓ I reckon that chocolate is a really unique, strong, and significant flavor that has existed for a really long time around the world, and it is also one of the basic flavors that has appeared really commonly in our cuisine.

The sentence contains repeated words ('had that have', 'it it'), incomplete ending, and awkward phrasing. Correcting pronoun use and completing the sentence improves clarity and grammar.

× As I have mentioned above. My. The flavor of chocolate I adore the most is definitely dark chocolates 'cause personally I prefer something which is not too sugary.

✓ As I have mentioned above, the flavor of chocolate I adore the most is definitely dark chocolate because personally I prefer something which is not too sugary.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains unnecessary periods. 'Dark chocolates' should be singular 'dark chocolate' when referring to the flavor generally. 'Cause' should be replaced with 'because' for formal correctness.

× I do have white chocolate here in there.

✓ I do have white chocolate here and there.

The phrase 'here in there' is incorrect. The correct idiom is 'here and there', meaning occasionally or in some places.

× From my perspective. Gifting other people chocolate as a desert. It's a great way if that person. Prefers some sweet treats or desserts.

✓ From my perspective, gifting other people chocolate as a dessert is a great way if that person prefers some sweet treats or desserts.

The original sentences are fragmented and contain incorrect word 'desert' instead of 'dessert'. Combining the sentences and correcting the word improves grammar and clarity.

× And for example, for occasions as coming over for dinner, chocolate would be. Cherry on top.

✓ For example, on occasions such as coming over for dinner, chocolate would be the cherry on top.

The sentence is fragmented and missing articles. 'Cherry on top' is an idiom that requires the definite article 'the'. Also, 'as coming over' should be 'such as coming over' for correct prepositional phrase.