Machine— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more natural and concise by avoiding filler words like 'like' and 'so'. Also, ensure subject-verb agreement and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details with linking words such as 'because' or 'for example'.

예시: My favourite machine at home is the television because it helps me reduce stress. In the evenings, I usually watch old movies and listen to songs for about an hour, which relaxes my mind.

제안: Avoid excessive hesitation and filler words such as 'uh'. Make your sentences clearer and more structured by using linking words like 'because' and 'therefore'. Also, try to complete your thoughts fully and avoid vague phrases like 'it gives us a more extra'.

예시: Yes, washing and sweeping machines are very important because they save time compared to doing these tasks manually. Since we are all busy with work, these machines help reduce our workload and give us extra free time.

제안: Try to reduce hesitation and filler words such as 'uh' and 'like'. Use clear and grammatically correct sentences. Also, use linking words like 'because' and 'therefore' to connect your ideas logically.

예시: Yes, I always read the instructions before using a machine because if we do not follow them properly, it can damage the machine and reduce its lifespan. Therefore, it is better to read and follow the instructions carefully.

제안: Avoid repetition and filler words like 'uh'. Make your sentences more fluent and clear by using linking words such as 'because' and 'otherwise'. Also, ensure subject-verb agreement and use plural forms correctly.

예시: Yes, it is very important to read the instructions because they help us understand how to use the machine efficiently. Otherwise, improper use may cause damage, so we should always read and follow the instructions carefully.

× So in evenings, especially for one hour, I watches some old movies and I'm like listening songs and that helps me to relax my mind.

✓ So in the evenings, especially for one hour, I watch some old movies and I listen to songs and that helps me to relax my mind.

The verb 'watches' is incorrect because the subject 'I' requires the base form 'watch' without 'es'. Also, 'listening songs' should be 'listen to songs' because 'listen' is a verb that requires the preposition 'to' before the object. The verb form must agree with the subject in number and person.

× I'm like listening songs and that helps me to relax my mind.

✓ I listen to songs and that helps me to relax my mind.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' before the object. Saying 'listening songs' is incorrect; it should be 'listen to songs' to correctly express the action.

× Washing machines and the sweeping machines are really important nowadays, uh, because it helps us to uh, uh, reduce our time, uh, to do it like in a conventional way because, uh, we all have work and we are busy in our day-to-day life.

✓ Washing machines and sweeping machines are really important nowadays because they help us reduce the time needed to do these tasks in a conventional way since we all have work and are busy in our day-to-day life.

The subject 'Washing machines and sweeping machines' is plural, so the verb should be 'help' instead of 'helps'. Also, 'the sweeping machines' is unnecessarily definite; 'sweeping machines' is sufficient. The pronoun 'it' is incorrect for plural subjects; 'they' should be used.

× So it helps us to reduce our overwork and it gives us a more extra.

✓ So it helps us reduce our workload and gives us some extra time.

The phrase 'a more extra' is incorrect because 'extra' is already a quantifier and does not need 'more' or 'a'. Also, 'overwork' is better expressed as 'workload' in this context. The sentence is improved by using appropriate quantifiers and clearer expressions.

× Yes, definitely. I always read all the instructions before using the machine uh, because, uh, sometimes if we do not read the instructions properly, uh, it will affect badly for uh, it will negatively affect the machine and uh, because of that, the lifespan of machine will like uh, uh, decrease.

✓ Yes, definitely. I always read all the instructions before using the machine because sometimes if we do not read the instructions properly, it will negatively affect the machine and, because of that, the lifespan of the machine will decrease.

The phrase 'affect badly for' is incorrect; the correct form is 'negatively affect'. Also, 'lifespan of machine' requires the definite article 'the' before 'machine'. Removing unnecessary fillers improves clarity.

× So better is like we always read the instruction and follow them carefully.

✓ So it is better that we always read the instructions and follow them carefully.

The phrase 'the instruction' should be plural 'instructions' because multiple instructions are implied. Also, the sentence structure is improved by adding 'it is' and 'that' for clarity and correctness.

× By reading the instructions, uh, we uh, we will get the idea that uh, how to work it uh, efficiently and it otherwise it will create some damage for the machine to avoid that one, always read all the instruction and follow that.

✓ By reading the instructions, we will get the idea of how to operate it efficiently; otherwise, it may cause some damage to the machine. To avoid that, always read all the instructions and follow them.

The phrase 'all the instruction' should be plural 'instructions'. Also, 'create some damage for the machine' is better expressed as 'cause some damage to the machine'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.