Patience— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat contradictory and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a clear, direct response first, then support it with specific examples. Avoid redundancy and filler words like 'umm'. Also, correct grammar mistakes such as 'patients' should be 'patience' and 'loses' should be 'lose'.

예시: No, I am not a patient person. I often lose my temper over small things, which makes me realize I need to improve my patience. For example, I sometimes get frustrated when people are late, and I am working on managing my reactions better.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas more clearly and use linking words to connect your thoughts. Avoid vague phrases like 'not good things' and explain specifically what bothers you. Also, correct grammar and sentence structure.

예시: I feel impatient when I see people behaving disrespectfully or unfairly. For instance, when someone is rude to others, it makes me angry and can harm my relationships with them.

제안: Your answer is generally clear but could be improved by using more natural expressions and linking words. Also, avoid repeating phrases like 'that thing'. Try to be more specific about what you mean by 'boundaries'.

예시: When I have to do something for a long time, I try to understand it deeply and learn as much as I can. This helps me stay patient. However, I do get bored if the task is very repetitive.

제안: Your answer is relevant but could be more concise and better structured. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague phrases like 'and so many things'. Also, correct minor grammar errors such as 'sometime' should be 'sometimes'.

예시: Yes, my job as a front-of-house customer service representative and barista requires a lot of patience. I interact with customers of all ages, including elderly people, so I need to remain calm and polite at all times.

제안: Your answer has good content but needs clearer structure and grammar correction. Avoid filler words like 'umm' and phrases like 'like fought, fight'. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about how your patience has improved.

예시: Yes, I am more patient now than when I was a child. Since moving abroad, I have had to socialize more and handle situations independently, which has helped me develop greater patience. Previously, I would often argue with my family, but now I manage my emotions better.

× I know I need to work more on my patients and umm and work upon myself.

✓ I know I need to work more on my patience and umm work on myself.

The word 'patients' is plural and refers to people receiving medical care, which is incorrect here. The correct word is 'patience', an uncountable noun meaning the ability to wait calmly. Also, 'work upon myself' is better expressed as 'work on myself' for natural usage.

× I can be rude when I loses my temper.

✓ I can be rude when I lose my temper.

The verb 'lose' should be in the base form 'lose' after the subject 'I'. Using 'loses' is incorrect because 'loses' is third person singular, but the subject here is first person singular.

× I don't like when others people do that are like, not good things.

✓ I don't like when other people do things that are not good.

The phrase 'others people' is incorrect; the correct form is 'other people'. Also, the sentence structure is awkward; rephrasing improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Makes me so impatient and angry that I can say it to other people's faith, which create so many personal relationship barriers as well.

✓ It makes me so impatient and angry that I might say things affecting other people's feelings, which creates many personal relationship barriers as well.

The original sentence lacks a clear subject and has awkward phrasing. Adding 'It' as the subject and rephrasing improves clarity. 'Create' should be 'creates' to agree with singular subject 'which'.

× Currently I'm working as a front of house customer service representative and barista which involves a lot of customer service, talking with people and so many things.

✓ Currently, I'm working as a front-of-house customer service representative and barista, which involves a lot of customer service, talking to people, and many other tasks.

The phrase 'front of house' should be hyphenated as 'front-of-house' when used as an adjective. Also, 'talking with people' is acceptable but 'talking to people' is more common in this context. Adding commas improves readability.

× So obviously yes my job requires me to be patient cause all ages of people come to shop to buy ice cream and coffee sometime old people.

✓ So obviously, yes, my job requires me to be patient because people of all ages come to the shop to buy ice cream and coffee, sometimes older people.

The phrase 'all ages of people' is better expressed as 'people of all ages'. 'Sometime old people' is incorrect; it should be 'sometimes older people'. Also, 'cause' should be 'because' for formal correctness.

× I think so, yes, I have gained lot of more patience after coming abroad 'cause previously back home my parents were there with me and then I don't have to socialize a lot in the society.

✓ I think so, yes, I have gained a lot more patience after coming abroad because previously back home my parents were there with me and I didn't have to socialize much in society.

The phrase 'lot of more patience' is incorrect; it should be 'a lot more patience'. 'Cause' should be 'because' for formality. 'Don't have to' should be 'didn't have to' to match past tense. 'In the society' is better as 'in society'.

× So umm, I just easily like fought, fight with my siblings or my parents and they can calm me down.

✓ So umm, I used to easily fight with my siblings or my parents, and they could calm me down.

The sentence mixes past and present tense incorrectly. 'Fought, fight' is inconsistent; 'used to fight' correctly indicates past habitual action. 'Can calm me down' should be 'could calm me down' to maintain past tense consistency.