Patience— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: သင်၏အဖြေသည် သဘာဝကျပြီး ထိရောက်မှုရှိရန် ပိုမိုတိကျစွာ ပြောဆိုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ စကားလုံးများကို မှန်ကန်စွာ အသုံးပြုရန်နှင့် စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုသေချာစွာ ဖော်ပြရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: Yes, I consider myself a patient person because I try to remain calm during difficult and stressful situations. For example, when I face a challenging problem, I think carefully before taking any action to ensure the best outcome.

제안: အဖြေကို ပိုမိုသေချာစွာ ဖော်ပြရန်နှင့် စကားလုံးများကို မှန်ကန်စွာ အသုံးပြုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ ပိုမိုသေချာသော အကြောင်းအရာများနှင့် ဆက်စပ်စကားလုံးများကို ထည့်သွင်းရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: I feel impatient when I have to wait in long queues at shopping centers or food stores because I think it wastes my time. Therefore, I prefer to shop online to avoid crowded places and save time.

제안: အဖြေကို ပိုမိုသေချာစွာ ဖော်ပြရန်နှင့် စကားလုံးများကို မှန်ကန်စွာ အသုံးပြုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ စကားလုံးများကို ပိုမိုသေချာစွာ ချိတ်ဆက်ရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: When I have to do something for a long time, I often feel bored and frustrated, which makes it hard to concentrate. To refresh myself, I usually take a short break, go for a walk, or have a cup of coffee to regain my energy.

제안: အဖြေကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစွာ ဖော်ပြရန်နှင့် စကားလုံးများကို မှန်ကန်စွာ အသုံးပြုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ အကြောင်းအရာများကို ပိုမိုသေချာစွာ ဖော်ပြရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: As a customer service representative, I need to understand customers' needs carefully and listen attentively to provide effective solutions. Therefore, my job requires me to be very patient.

제안: အဖြေကို ပိုမိုသေချာစွာ ဖော်ပြရန်နှင့် စကားလုံးများကို မှန်ကန်စွာ အသုံးပြုရန် လိုအပ်သည်။ အကြောင်းအရာများကို ပိုမိုရှင်းလင်းစွာ ဖော်ပြရန် လိုအပ်သည်။

예시: Yes, I am definitely more patient now than when I was a child. As I have matured, I have learned to control my emotions better and think carefully before making decisions.

× I try to stay camped in a difficult situation and stressful time.

✓ I try to stay calm in a difficult situation and stressful time.

The word 'camped' is incorrect here; the correct adjective is 'calm' to describe a person's demeanor. This is a vocabulary choice error related to present tense usage.

× if I is some kind of an expert situation happened

✓ if some kind of expert situation happens

The phrase 'I is' is incorrect; 'I' should not be followed by 'is'. Also, 'happened' is past tense, but the sentence context requires present tense 'happens'. This is a singular/plural and tense issue.

× They hired me to improve my emotional and thoughtful.

✓ I try to improve my emotional control and thoughtfulness.

The pronoun 'They' is unclear and incorrect here. The sentence is intended to express a personal effort, so 'I try to improve' is appropriate. Also, 'thoughtful' should be 'thoughtfulness' as a noun.

× I may feel impatient one I have to queue for a long time at a shopping center and food stores

✓ I may feel impatient when I have to queue for a long time at a shopping center and food stores

The word 'one' is incorrect; it should be 'when' to indicate the time condition. This is a singular/plural and word choice issue.

× because I my personally think that is wasting of my time.

✓ because I personally think that it is a waste of my time.

The phrase 'I my personally think' is incorrect; 'I personally think' is correct. Also, 'that is wasting of my time' should be 'that it is a waste of my time'. This is a pronoun and noun usage error.

× To prevent that I prefer to purchase from online to afford such kind of crowded people.

✓ To avoid that, I prefer to purchase online to avoid such crowded places.

The preposition 'from' is incorrect with 'online'; it should be 'purchase online'. Also, 'afford such kind of crowded people' is incorrect; 'avoid such crowded places' is appropriate. This is a preposition and word choice error.

× I tends to lose concentration and focus at that condition.

✓ I tend to lose concentration and focus in that condition.

The verb 'tends' does not agree with the subject 'I'; it should be 'tend'. Also, 'at that condition' should be 'in that condition'. This is a subject-verb agreement and preposition error.

× I may take a break and have a walk for the wind or take a cup of coffee to reboost my energy level, to make me feel fresh, to make my my friend.

✓ I may take a break and have a walk to get some fresh air or take a cup of coffee to boost my energy level, to make me feel fresh.

The phrase 'have a walk for the wind' is incorrect; 'have a walk to get some fresh air' is correct. 'Reboost' is not standard; 'boost' is correct. The phrase 'to make my my friend' is unclear and likely an error. This is a preposition and vocabulary error.

× I have to understand the customer need and went into your consent and throughout lead and moreover, I have to pay attention to listen to your word and provide the better.

✓ I have to understand the customer's needs and gain their consent throughout the process. Moreover, I have to pay attention to listen to their words and provide better service.

The verb 'went' is past tense and incorrect here; 'gain' or 'obtain' is appropriate. 'Customer need' should be plural possessive 'customer's needs'. 'Your' should be 'their' to match the subject. This is a past tense and pronoun usage error.

× So deeper solution to what effectively that's why my work require me to be more patient.

✓ So, providing deeper solutions effectively is why my work requires me to be more patient.

The phrase 'So deeper solution' is incorrect; it should be 'providing deeper solutions'. 'Require' should be 'requires' to agree with singular subject 'work'. This is a singular/plural and subject-verb agreement error.

× Yes definitely I'm a patient and when I was a child I became more mature and and control my emotion really weird especially before I didn't ask picking something.

✓ Yes, definitely I'm patient, and since I was a child, I have become more mature and better at controlling my emotions, especially before when I didn't think carefully before making decisions.

The phrase 'I'm a patient' should be 'I'm patient' (adjective). 'Control my emotion really weird' is incorrect; it should be 'better at controlling my emotions'. 'Didn't ask picking something' is unclear; likely intended 'didn't think carefully before making decisions'. This is a present tense and sentence structure error.

× I mean consider carefully before doing that.

✓ I mean, I consider carefully before doing that.

The sentence lacks a subject; adding 'I' clarifies the meaning. This is a sentence structure and present tense issue.