Patience— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains some grammatical errors and redundancy. Try to be more concise and clear, for example, avoid repeating ideas and correct sentence structure. Also, clarify your points with specific examples. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

예시: Yes, I consider myself a patient person because I stay calm during stressful situations. For instance, practicing yoga has taught me to manage stress effectively, which helps me remain patient.

제안: Your answer has some hesitation and unclear phrases. Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and improve sentence clarity. Use linking words to explain reasons clearly and avoid repetition. Also, correct grammar mistakes for better understanding.

예시: Stress and working under high pressure make me feel impatient because I find it difficult to concentrate when I am pressured by others.

제안: Your answer is too long and contains many grammatical errors and unclear phrases. Try to be concise and complete your sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas logically and provide specific details about your feelings.

예시: When I have to do repetitive tasks for a long time, I feel bored and my concentration decreases gradually, which affects my performance negatively.

제안: Your answer is relevant but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use clearer sentence structures and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to explain reasons and provide specific examples.

예시: Yes, my job in pharmacy requires a lot of patience because patients sometimes get angry if the service is delayed, so I need to remain calm and professional.

제안: Your answer is understandable but has many pauses and incomplete sentences. Try to speak more fluently and use complete sentences. Provide clear reasons and use linking words to connect your ideas.

예시: Yes, I am more patient now than when I was a child because I have matured and learned to control my desires, such as wanting new clothes or toys.

× I remained calm under pressure and as well as under stressful conditions because it it ultimately affects 1's life.

✓ I remain calm under pressure as well as under stressful conditions because it ultimately affects one's life.

The sentence is describing a habitual action, so the present tense 'remain' should be used instead of the past tense 'remained'. Also, 'it it' is a repetition error and '1's' should be 'one's'.

× So through yoga I came to know that you meaning Tom or patient really helps me.

✓ So through yoga I came to know that being calm or patient really helps me.

The phrase 'you meaning Tom or patient' is unclear and incorrect. It should be replaced with a clear pronoun or noun phrase that fits the context, such as 'being calm or patient'.

× I don't drive working under. Pressure or when some someone pressurized me the things becomes worse for me.

✓ I don't like working under pressure or when someone pressurizes me; things become worse for me.

The phrase 'I don't drive working under' is incorrect; 'like' is the correct verb here. Also, 'some someone' is redundant and should be 'someone'. 'Pressurized' should be 'pressurizes' to agree with the subject. 'The things becomes' should be 'things become' for subject-verb agreement.

× Well, when I have to do, uh, the repetitive task for a longer period of time, I feel bored and my concentration also decreases by the by. Period of time because the same task doing multiple times make me feel overwhelmed as well as my focus also decreases which affects the.

✓ Well, when I have to do repetitive tasks for a longer period of time, I feel bored and my concentration also decreases over time because doing the same task multiple times makes me feel overwhelmed; my focus also decreases which affects me.

The singular 'task' should be plural 'tasks' to match 'multiple times'. 'Make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'doing the same task multiple times'. The sentence is fragmented and needs restructuring for clarity.

× I work in pharmacy and therefore being patient is one of the skills that are required in while practicing because the patients come and sometimes talk very rudely or in angry manner because the service was not delivered perfectly.

✓ I work in a pharmacy and therefore being patient is one of the skills required while practicing because patients come and sometimes talk very rudely or in an angry manner because the service was not delivered perfectly.

The phrase 'in pharmacy' should be 'in a pharmacy' to include the article. 'Required in while practicing' is incorrect; 'required while practicing' is correct. 'The patients' can be 'patients' in general. 'In angry manner' should be 'in an angry manner'.

× My patience level when I was a kid was not. Much because I wanted to buy new things as well as. Knew clothes, but now I have as I have. I'm mature. Now I have become more patient.

✓ My patience level when I was a kid was not much because I wanted to buy new things as well as new clothes, but now that I am mature, I have become more patient.

'Knew clothes' is a typo and should be 'new clothes'. The sentence fragments need to be combined for clarity. 'As I have. I'm mature.' is incorrect and should be 'now that I am mature'.