Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural and concise, correct grammar (school times → school), and add a brief reason or example. Use one or two linking words and avoid redundancy.

예시: I usually eat snacks during my breaks or whenever I have free time because snacks aren't allowed during school. For example, I often have a granola bar between classes to keep my energy up.

제안: Be more specific and grammatical: state a clear topic sentence, then give specific examples and explain consequences. Use linking words (for example, however) and avoid vague phrasing like “it would damage your.”

예시: It depends on the type of snack. For example, high-protein snacks like yogurt or nuts can be beneficial because they keep you full and help muscle recovery; however, junk food such as chips and sweets can harm your health by adding excess sugar and unhealthy fats.

제안: Correct grammar (sneaks → sneaked, schools → school), avoid censoring words, and give a concise example or short story. Keep to 2–3 sentences max and use a linking phrase.

예시: Yes, I did. Like many children, I often sneaked sweets or chocolate into school and hid them from teachers; for instance, I would keep a candy bar in my pencil case and eat it during recess.

제안: Make the answer grammatically correct and more specific: use plural forms and avoid fillers (umm). Limit to two sentences, give a reason or a contrast, and use linking words like for example or however.

예시: I prefer crispy snacks, such as French fries and potato crisps, because I like the crunchy texture. However, I try not to eat them too often since they are high in fat.

× I usually take them during my breaks or free time because during schools times we aren't allowed to take them.

✓ I usually eat them during my breaks or free time because during school time we aren't allowed to eat them.

Use of verb 'take' is unnatural for eating snacks; 'eat' fits context. 'schools times' is incorrect plural and word order; use 'school time' or 'school hours'. Also maintain verb consistency: 'eat them' rather than 'take them'. Suggested improvement: use 'eat' for consuming food and 'school time' or 'school hours' for the period when school is in session.

× I think it depends on what kind of snacks you are eating.

✓ I think it depends on what kind of snacks you eat.

Present progressive 'are eating' suggests an action happening right now; for general statements use simple present 'eat'. Suggested improvement: use simple present to express habits or general truths.

× For example, if you eat those snacks that have high sources of proteins, I find that it could benefit you.

✓ For example, if you eat snacks that are high in protein, I think they could benefit you.

Phrase 'high sources of proteins' is awkward and ungrammatical. Use the adjective 'high in protein' and 'protein' is usually uncountable. Replace 'I find that it could benefit you' with 'I think they could benefit you' to match plural 'snacks'. Suggested improvement: use 'high in protein' and match subject and verb number.

× But on the other hand, if you eat those junk food or crispy snacks it would damage your.

✓ But on the other hand, if you eat junk food or crispy snacks, they could harm you.

'Those junk food' is incorrect because 'junk food' is uncountable and doesn't need 'those'. 'Damage your' is incomplete and wrong; use 'harm you' or 'be harmful to you'. Also add a comma before the conditional result clause and match plural subject with plural verb 'they could'. Suggested improvement: treat 'junk food' as uncountable and use 'harm' or 'be harmful to' plus complete object.

× Of course, I think I'm like the other kids who always sneaks their ***** or chocolate during schools and hide them from our teachers and parents.

✓ Of course, I think I was like the other kids who always sneaked their candy or chocolate during school and hid it from our teachers and parents.

Tense should be past ('was', 'sneaked', 'hid') because the question asks about when the student was young. Subject-verb agreement: 'kids who always sneaks' should be 'kids who always sneaked'. 'schools' should be singular 'school' for the period, and pronoun/reference: 'their candy or chocolate' is fine but 'hide them' mismatches singular 'chocolate' so use 'hid it'. Suggested improvement: use past tense for past habits and maintain agreement between subjects and verbs and between pronouns and antecedents.

× I like those crispy one for example, like French fries, umm crisps, potato crisps and others kind of thing that's always crispy.

✓ I like crispy foods, for example French fries, crisps, potato chips and other kinds of things that are always crispy.

Mixes singular and plural incorrectly: 'those crispy one' is wrong; use 'crispy ones' or 'crispy foods'. 'Crisps' and 'potato crisps' overlap; 'potato chips' may be clearer. 'Others kind of thing' should be 'other kinds of things' and verb agreement 'that are always crispy'. Suggested improvement: keep noun number consistent (plural with plural) and match relative clause verb to plural noun ('that are').

× I find that I always eat them even nowadays.

✓ I find that I still eat them even now.

'Even nowadays' is awkward; use 'even now' or 'nowadays' alone. 'Always' plus 'even nowadays' is redundant; 'still' conveys continuation from past to present. Use simple present 'eat' for habitual action. Suggested improvement: use 'still' for continued habits and prefer 'even now' or 'nowadays' (not both).