Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more natural, concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix awkward phrases (e.g. “Snacks Now”, “cup, cup”, and incomplete item lists).

예시: I usually avoid snacks because I go to the gym and focus on healthy meals. However, during the monsoon I sometimes have a cup of tea or coffee with warm snacks like pakoras or biscuits because the cold, rainy weather makes me crave something comforting.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and connect reasons with linking words. Add a short example or a brief exception to show nuance, and avoid small grammatical slips (e.g. missing subject in “occasionally eat”).

예시: Generally, I don't think snacks are healthy because they are often high in sugar and oil. For example, chips and sweets give me quick energy but little nutrition; therefore I stick to balanced meals and only allow myself small, warm treats occasionally during the monsoon.

제안: Answer directly, remove repetition, and correct grammar (complete the clause “limited the treats we could have”). Add one specific detail about what was allowed or how you felt to enrich the response.

예시: No, I didn't eat many snacks when I was young because my parents were strict and health-conscious. For instance, they only allowed fruit or homemade treats, so I rarely had fried or sugary snacks.

제안: Clarify any unknown or mistaken items (e.g. “mosa” and “rabbit” seem incorrect) and give a concise list of typical favourites. Use linking words to explain frequency and context, and correct vocabulary mistakes.

예시: I enjoy traditional snacks like pakoras, jalebis and biscuits, but I mainly eat them on rainy days. Otherwise, because I try to stay healthy, I usually avoid fried or very sweet snacks.

× Snacks Now I try to avoid snacks because I go to the gym regularly so I have focus on my healthy meals.

✓ Now I try to avoid snacks because I go to the gym regularly, so I focus on my healthy meals.

The sentence contains awkward tense/aspect and word order. 'Snacks Now' is incorrect order; 'have focus on' is wrong verb phrase. Use simple present 'focus on' to match habitual action. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'so'.

× However, during monsoon or on rainy days, I sometimes enjoy a cup, cup of coffee or tea with snacks such as pakodas, biscuits or because the weather makes them may feel like having something warm and comforting.

✓ However, during the monsoon or on rainy days, I sometimes enjoy a cup of coffee or tea with snacks such as pakodas or biscuits because the weather makes me feel like having something warm and comforting.

Problems: repeated 'cup, cup' and incomplete list ending with 'or because'. 'Monsoon' needs 'the' when referring to the season in this context. 'Them may feel' is incorrect subject and modal; should be 'me feel'. Rearranged to a clear clause and fixed punctuation.

× No, I don't think snacks are healthy. I usually prefer balanced meals because snacks are often high in sugar and oil, but occasionally eat small snacks during the monsoon because I crave warm, comforting food.

✓ No, I don't think snacks are healthy. I usually prefer balanced meals because snacks are often high in sugar and oil, but I occasionally eat small snacks during the monsoon because I crave warm, comforting food.

Missing subject 'I' before 'occasionally eat' creates a sentence fragment or awkward omission. Adding 'I' keeps consistent present habitual tense.

× No, no, I didn't eat many snacks when I was young. My parents were very strict and health conscious so they discouraged snacking and limited the treats could have.

✓ No, I didn't eat many snacks when I was young. My parents were very strict and health-conscious, so they discouraged snacking and limited the treats I could have.

Redundant 'no, no' removed for clarity. 'Health conscious' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before a noun. The clause 'limited the treats could have' is missing the subject 'I'; correct to 'treats I could have'.

× I like snacks such as pakodas, jalebis, mosa, biscuits and rabbit. However, I usually only eat these treats on rainy days because otherwise I try to be health conscious and avoid snacks.

✓ I like snacks such as pakodas, jalebis, moasa, and biscuits. However, I usually only eat these treats on rainy days because otherwise I try to be health-conscious and avoid snacks.

The list included 'rabbit' which is likely a wrong word for a snack; replaced with 'moasa' assuming intended item (adjust if incorrect). Added comma before 'and' for clarity. 'Health conscious' should be hyphenated when used as a compound adjective before a noun. Ensure vocabulary correctness: if 'rabbit' was intended, replace with the correct snack name.