Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more fluent, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations and repetition, and give one or two specific examples with linking words. Watch grammar for tense and countable/uncountable nouns (e.g., "a movie," "soda").

예시: I usually only eat snacks on weekends. For example, I often watch movies or catch up on dramas on weekend nights, so I’ll have soda and chips while watching. On weekdays I’m too busy to snack.

제안: Give a clear, logical reasoned answer with correct grammar and specific details. Use linking words (Firstly, moreover, therefore). Avoid vague statements like 'does not maintain my body temperature' and replace with concrete effects (weight gain, stomach aches). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: No, I don't think snacking is healthy for me. Firstly, eating a lot of sweets and fried snacks makes me gain weight, and secondly I often get stomach aches after eating them, so I try to avoid snacking too often.

제안: Answer directly and use past tense consistently for past habits. Provide one or two clear supporting details (who warned you, why you did it) and use linking words (for example, because). Keep it concise and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I ate a lot of snacks when I was young. For example, my parents and doctor warned me about it, but I often skipped proper meals and bought soda and chips when I went out with friends.

제안: Give a clear list of favorite snacks and a brief reason or example. Use correct tense and vocabulary (e.g., "soda," "chocolates"). Avoid filler phrases like 'I forgot the name' and be concise (max 4–5 sentences).

예시: I like salty and sweet snacks, especially chips, chocolate and candy, and I often drink soda with them. When I was a teenager I used to eat these snacks a lot, especially after school.

× I usually eat on weekends because when I watch movie and and on weekend night I catch up like drama so I eat snacks such as coke and more virtue *****.

✓ I usually eat snacks on weekends because when I watch movies and catch up on dramas on weekend nights, I eat snacks such as soda and other treats.

The original sentence misuses base verbs and nouns: 'watch movie' should be plural 'watch movies'; 'catch up like drama' should be 'catch up on dramas'; 'on weekend night' should be 'on weekend nights'. Also the verb phrase 'eat snacks' needs the object 'snacks' placed after 'eat'. Use gerund/participle forms and correct prepositions ('on') for standard collocations. Suggestion: Use plural nouns for repeated activities (movies, dramas) and the preposition 'on' with time expressions (on weekend nights). Use clear noun phrases for items (soda and other treats).

× Uh and other days I have not enough time to eat snacks.

✓ On other days I do not have enough time to eat snacks.

The original word order 'have not enough time' is unnatural in present tense negative; English uses auxiliary 'do' for negation with main verb 'have' when meaning possession/time: 'do not have'. Also start with 'On other days' to show contrast. Suggestion: Use 'do not have' for negative present-tense possession and place adverbial phrase 'on other days' at the start for clarity.

× No, I don't think it is healthy for me to eat snack because uh, firstly, it gain my weight moreover and also does not maintain my body temperature.

✓ No, I don't think it is healthy for me to eat snacks because, firstly, it makes me gain weight and it does not help maintain my body temperature.

'eat snack' needs plural 'snacks' or 'a snack' (article). 'it gain my weight' is ungrammatical: use 'it makes me gain weight'. Also 'does not maintain my body temperature' needs subject 'it' and clearer verb 'help maintain'. Suggestion: Use plural for general statements ('snacks') and proper verb constructions ('make someone do something', 'help maintain').

× Moreover, like uh, when I eat snacks on weekends, so I, umm, I get ill and uh, and also. I have my tummy.

✓ Moreover, when I eat snacks on weekends, I sometimes get ill and I have stomach problems.

The sentence has filler words and poor structure. Remove unnecessary fillers ('like uh', 'so', 'umm') and combine clauses: 'when I eat snacks on weekends, I sometimes get ill' is clear. 'I have my tummy' is incorrect; use 'I have stomach problems' or 'my stomach hurts'. Suggestion: Avoid filler words and use precise medical phrasing ('stomach problems' or 'my stomach hurts').

× Yes I eat a lot of snacks when I was young and my doctor warned me and more were my parents warned me.

✓ Yes, I ate a lot of snacks when I was young, and my doctor warned me; my parents warned me even more.

Mixes present 'eat' with past 'was young'. Use past tense 'ate' for past habit. 'more were my parents warned me' is ungrammatical; express as 'my parents warned me even more'. Suggestion: Keep past narrative in past tense throughout and use clear comparative adverbs ('even more').

× But I cannot prevent and I will eat usually in a day.

✓ But I could not stop myself, and I used to eat snacks every day.

'cannot prevent' is awkward; use 'could not stop myself' for past inability. 'I will eat usually in a day' mixes future/modal with habitual past; use 'used to eat snacks every day' to describe past habitual action. Suggestion: Use 'used to' for past habits and 'could not stop myself' for inability in past.

× Like I don't eat meals proper meal and eat snacks for example when I go with my friends.

✓ For example, I didn't eat proper meals and ate snacks when I went out with my friends.

Word order and prepositions are incorrect: 'meals proper meal' should be 'proper meals'. Use past tense 'didn't eat' and 'ate' to match past timeframe. 'when I go with my friends' should be past 'when I went out with my friends'. Suggestion: Place adjectives before nouns ('proper meals') and match verb tenses consistently.

× So I will eat the such a soda and.

✓ So I would drink sodas like that.

'the such a soda' is ungrammatical: choose 'sodas like that' or 'that kind of soda'. Also 'will' is inappropriate for past habitual action; 'would' or 'used to' fits better. Suggestion: Use correct determiner order ('that kind of', 'sodas like that') and appropriate modal for habitual past ('would').

× I eat chips, candy and moreover such as chocolates and often had sodas.

✓ I ate chips, candy, chocolates, and often had sodas.

Mixes present 'eat' with past 'had'. For past context, use 'ate' and keep list items in appropriate form; 'candy' and 'chocolates' are fine. Remove 'moreover such as' which is redundant. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and simplify list conjunctions.

× I really like this type of snacks and I forgot the name because when I was in my teenager age so I will eat a lot of snacks.

✓ I really liked this type of snack, and I forgot the name because when I was a teenager I used to eat a lot of snacks.

Mixes present preference with past context; 'this type of snacks' should be 'this type of snack' (or 'these types of snacks'). 'in my teenager age' is incorrect; use 'when I was a teenager'. 'I will eat a lot of snacks' incorrectly uses future; 'used to eat' expresses past habit. Suggestion: Use 'used to' for past habits, correct noun number ('type of snack') and the phrase 'when I was a teenager'.