Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and lacks clear structure. Try to start with a direct response to the question, then add specific reasons or examples using linking words to make your answer more coherent and natural. Avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

예시: I usually eat snacks when I feel stressed or happy because chocolates help me relax and enhance my mood. However, I generally avoid snacking too often since I believe it's unhealthy to consume too many snacks regularly.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors, which affect the naturalness and effectiveness. Focus on giving a clear opinion first, then support it with specific examples and reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas logically and avoid repetition.

예시: I believe that eating snacks can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the type of food. For example, dark chocolate has antioxidants that may benefit health, while junk foods like French fries are less healthy and should be eaten sparingly.

제안: Your answer is quite good but can be improved by correcting grammar and making the sentences more fluent. Use past tense consistently and avoid unnecessary repetition. Adding linking words will help the flow of your answer.

예시: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because I loved chocolates. I remember saving my pocket money to buy chocolate bars to share with my friends during school breaks, which created wonderful memories for me.

제안: Your answer has good content but lacks clarity and contains some grammatical mistakes. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using linking words. Also, be careful with word choice and sentence structure to sound more natural.

예시: As I mentioned earlier, I enjoy eating chocolates, especially dark chocolate. There are many flavors available, including white and milk chocolate, often combined with fruit or local flavors. I particularly like dark chocolate because it is believed to have some health benefits.

× As when I feel stressed, I would like to have some chocolates to get some relief and even when I'm happy I will also like chocolate is a delightful treat to strengthens my happiness and joy.

✓ When I feel stressed, I like to have some chocolates to get some relief, and even when I'm happy, I also like chocolate as it is a delightful treat that strengthens my happiness and joy.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'would like' and 'will also like' in a habitual context where simple present tense is appropriate. Also, 'strengthens' should be preceded by 'that' to form a relative clause. Use simple present tense for habitual actions and correct relative clause structure.

× But normally I don't.

✓ But normally, I don't eat snacks.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks the verb 'eat' to clarify the action. Adding the verb completes the sentence and clarifies the meaning.

× I think it really depends on foods.

✓ I think it really depends on the food.

'Depends on' should be followed by a singular or uncountable noun when referring to food in general. 'Foods' is plural and less appropriate here; 'the food' is more natural.

× I would like to have a deep talk about of dark chocolate to get some relief or bring me some joy.

✓ I would like to have a deep talk about dark chocolate to get some relief or bring me some joy.

The phrase 'talk about of' is incorrect; 'about' should not be followed by 'of'. The correct preposition is just 'about'.

× Dark chocolate as seem to have some health benefits such as empty oxygen and for other junk food or fast food such as hash Browns or French fries, I was probably I was probably.

✓ Dark chocolate seems to have some health benefits such as antioxidants, but for other junk food or fast food such as hash browns or French fries, I probably avoid them.

'As seem' should be 'seems' to agree with singular subject 'dark chocolate'. 'Empty oxygen' is incorrect; likely meant 'antioxidants'. The sentence is incomplete and repetitive; corrected for clarity and grammar.

× Of course, when I was a child I was so fascinated with chocolates then I will have it whenever I got the chance.

✓ Of course, when I was a child, I was so fascinated with chocolates that I would have them whenever I got the chance.

Mixing past and future tenses is incorrect here. 'Will have' should be 'would have' to indicate habitual past action. Also, 'it' should be 'them' to agree with plural 'chocolates'.

× I still remember I saved my Pokémon to buy some bars of chocolate to share with my friends during school breaks.

✓ I still remember saving my Pokémon cards to buy some bars of chocolate to share with my friends during school breaks.

'Saved my Pokémon' is unclear; likely means 'saved my Pokémon cards'. Also, 'I still remember I saved' is awkward; 'I still remember saving' is more natural.

× This day's worth is wonderful memories for me to to.

✓ These days are wonderful memories for me too.

'This day's worth' is incorrect; 'These days' is appropriate. 'To to' is a typo; should be 'too' to mean 'also'.

× Just as I mentioned before, I loved eating chocolates.

✓ Just as I mentioned before, I love eating chocolate.

'Loved' is past tense but context suggests present habit; 'love' is correct. 'Chocolates' plural is acceptable but 'chocolate' as uncountable noun is more natural here.

× There were so many flavors such as dark chocolate, white chocolate, and milk chocolates.

✓ There are so many flavors such as dark chocolate, white chocolate, and milk chocolate.

Use present tense 'are' to match current preference. 'Milk chocolates' should be 'milk chocolate' to be consistent with other uncountable forms.

× And the chocolates can also combine with different flavors such as fruit flavors or native flavors.

✓ And the chocolates can also be combined with different flavors such as fruit flavors or native flavors.

'Can combine with' is less natural; passive form 'can be combined with' is better to express addition of flavors.

× I especially slice dark chocolates.

✓ I especially like dark chocolate.

'Slice' is a verb and does not fit here; likely meant 'like'. Also, 'dark chocolates' plural is less natural than 'dark chocolate' uncountable.

× It seems to have some health.

✓ It seems to have some health benefits.

The sentence is incomplete; 'health' should be followed by a noun like 'benefits' to complete the meaning.