Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to combine your ideas into fewer sentences to sound more natural and avoid redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect your reasons clearly. For example, instead of starting with 'Because', you can say 'I don't like eating snacks because they are unhealthy, and I want to lose weight as I think I look a bit shabby.'

예시: I usually avoid eating snacks because they are unhealthy, and I want to lose weight since I feel I look a bit shabby.

제안: Improve your sentence structure and vocabulary by using clearer linking words and correcting small errors. For example, replace 'ties up snacks' with 'the type of snacks' and use 'on the other hand' to contrast ideas.

예시: I think it depends on the type of snacks you choose. For example, chips or gummy candies are usually unhealthy, but on the other hand, nuts or beans can be healthy options.

제안: Focus on clarity and grammar. Use past tense consistently and avoid unclear phrases like 'like other children's so'. Also, explain your ideas more clearly with linking words.

예시: I remember that when I was young, I liked to eat snacks like other children. In my childhood, snacks were like a reward that I could have only when my parents allowed me.

제안: Try to use more precise vocabulary and avoid unclear phrases like 'That I can fight'. Also, combine your sentences to make your answer more coherent and natural.

예시: I like to eat chips because there are many different flavors available in my country. For example, I enjoy seaweed-flavored chips, which have a salty and umami taste that is very delicious and unique.

× I don't like eating snacks. Because they are unhealthy food for me and I want to lose my weight right now 'cause I think I look a bit shabby.

✓ I don't like eating snacks because they are unhealthy for me and I want to lose weight right now since I think I look a bit shabby.

The original sentence incorrectly starts a new sentence with 'Because', which is a subordinating conjunction and should not begin a sentence. Also, 'unhealthy food for me' is awkward; 'unhealthy for me' is better. 'Lose my weight' is unnatural; 'lose weight' is the correct phrase. 'Cause' is informal; 'since' is more appropriate here.

× I think it depends on ties up snacks you choose.

✓ I think it depends on the types of snacks you choose.

The phrase 'ties up snacks' is incorrect. The correct phrase is 'types of snacks'. Also, the preposition 'on' should be followed by 'the types of snacks' to make the sentence grammatically correct.

× However, if you choose nuts or beans it could be healthy for you.

✓ However, if you choose nuts or beans, they could be healthy for you.

The subject 'nuts or beans' is plural, so the verb should be 'could be' with plural pronoun 'they' instead of singular 'it'. Also, a comma is needed after the introductory clause.

× I can remember clearly, but I think when I was young I like to eat snacks like other children's so.

✓ I can remember clearly, but I think when I was young I liked to eat snacks like other children did.

The verb 'like' should be in past tense 'liked' to match the past time frame. 'Children's so' is incorrect; it should be 'children did' to complete the comparison.

× In my childhood, I think snag is like a reward when we get it and when my parents allow us to eat.

✓ In my childhood, I think snacks were like a reward when we got them and when my parents allowed us to eat them.

The word 'snag' is a typo and should be 'snacks' (plural). The verbs 'is', 'get', and 'allow' should be in past tense 'were', 'got', and 'allowed' to match the past time frame. Also, pronouns should agree in number: 'them' instead of 'it'.

× I like to eat chips because there are so many different flavors available in my country.

✓ I like to eat chips because there are many different flavors available in my country.

The phrase 'so many' is informal and can be replaced with 'many' for a more neutral tone. However, 'so many' is not grammatically incorrect, so this is a stylistic suggestion.

× It has like salty and umami taste.

✓ It has a salty and umami taste.

The word 'like' is incorrectly used here as a filler and should be removed. Also, 'taste' is singular and should be preceded by the article 'a'.

× That I can fight. Very delicious and unique.

✓ I can eat that. It is very delicious and unique.

The original sentences are fragmented and unclear. 'That I can fight' is likely a mishearing or typo; 'I can eat that' makes sense in context. Also, 'Very delicious and unique' is a fragment and should be connected to a subject and verb.