Snacks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like "I feel that I need something" and "To manage my hunger" which express the same idea. Also, try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

예시: I usually eat snacks around 4:00 PM because my work slows down then, and I feel hungry. So, I take a break to manage my hunger at that time.

제안: Your answer is unclear and incomplete. Try to form complete sentences and avoid grammatical errors. Use linking words to explain your opinion clearly and provide specific reasons why you think snacks can be healthy.

예시: I believe eating snacks in moderation and in a proper way is healthy. For me, having a snack in the evening is beneficial because it satisfies my hunger and prevents overeating at dinner.

제안: Your answer has some unclear words and grammatical mistakes. Avoid confusing phrases like "variety of Phoenix" and "whenever I'm gay". Use clear vocabulary and structure your answer with a topic sentence and supporting details using linking words.

예시: When I was a child, I used to eat many different snacks without worrying about their healthiness. However, now that I am older, I prioritize healthy snacks instead.

제안: Your answer is incomplete and contains unclear phrases like "get the board with CM seems snacks" and "roasted McCann's". Try to use clear vocabulary and complete your sentences. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

예시: I try to eat different snacks every day because I don't want to get bored with the same ones. Usually, I carry roasted almonds in my pocket because they are healthy. Additionally, I like to eat roasted peanuts as well.

× Typically I eat snacks around 4:00 PM everyday because at that time my work is slow and I feel that I need something.

✓ Typically, I eat snacks around 4:00 PM every day because at that time my work is slow and I feel that I need something.

The word 'everyday' is an adjective meaning 'commonplace' or 'normal', but the correct adverbial phrase to indicate frequency is 'every day'. Also, a comma after 'Typically' improves sentence clarity.

× To manage my hunger, that's why I just try to take at that time.

✓ To manage my hunger, I just try to eat at that time.

The original sentence is a fragment and contains redundancy with 'that's why'. The corrected sentence is complete and clear, using 'eat' instead of 'take' which is incorrect in this context.

× I believe having anything in proper amount and with proper manner is.

✓ I believe having anything in the proper amount and in a proper manner is healthy for us.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks a subject complement. Adding 'healthy for us' completes the thought. Also, 'proper amount' and 'proper manner' need articles for correctness.

× Holy for us to eat and for me it is very beneficial to have snack during evening because it helps me to satisfy my hunger and it also.

✓ It is healthy for us to eat, and for me, it is very beneficial to have a snack during the evening because it helps me satisfy my hunger.

The word 'Holy' is a typo and should be 'healthy'. The sentence was incomplete and needed restructuring for clarity and grammatical correctness. Added articles and removed unnecessary words.

× I remember when I was a kid, I used to have variety of Phoenix.

✓ I remember when I was a kid, I used to have a variety of snacks.

'Variety' requires an article 'a'. 'Phoenix' seems to be a mishearing or typo; 'snacks' fits the context better.

× But nowadays, whenever I'm gay, when I'm getting adult or old, I'm much prioritizing healthy snacks rather than anything.

✓ But nowadays, as I am growing older, I prioritize healthy snacks much more than anything else.

'I'm gay' is likely a mishearing or typo; corrected to 'as I am growing older'. 'I'm much prioritizing' is incorrect; 'I prioritize much more' or 'I prioritize more' is correct. Also, 'anything' is vague; 'anything else' is clearer.

× I everyday try to have something different because I don't want to get the board with CM seems snacks, but I usually keep in my pocket roasted McCann's which is very beneficial for her health.

✓ Every day, I try to have something different because I don't want to get bored with the same snacks, but I usually keep roasted macadamia nuts in my pocket, which are very beneficial for my health.

'I everyday try' should be 'Every day, I try'. 'Get the board' is incorrect; it should be 'get bored'. 'CM seems snacks' is unclear; replaced with 'the same snacks'. 'McCann's' likely refers to 'macadamia nuts'. 'Her health' should be 'my health' to match the speaker.

× Moreover, I I also try to eat roasted peanuts and.

✓ Moreover, I also try to eat roasted peanuts.

The sentence is incomplete and contains a repeated word 'I'. The corrected sentence is complete and grammatically correct.