Weather— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the sentence grammatically correct, avoid exaggerated or unclear phrases, and be more concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail. Replace unclear metaphors (e.g., "living in the orphan") with concrete descriptions.

예시: I live in Hong Kong, and the weather is often very hot with a scorching sun. For example, temperatures frequently reach the mid-30s Celsius in summer, making outdoor activities uncomfortable.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetitive phrases and keep within 3–4 sentences for concision.

예시: I prefer cold weather because I enjoy winter sports such as skiing and ice skating. For example, I feel happier and more energetic when I can go skiing on weekends, so I would choose to live in a colder climate.

제안: Start with a direct answer, then use a linking word to give a specific reason and a brief example. Correct minor grammar ("a dry weather" -> "dry weather") and avoid vague claims like "substantially altered my mood" without specifics.

예시: I prefer dry weather rather than humid conditions. Because I lived in Hong Kong for almost 30 years, the persistent humidity made me feel tired and sweaty, so I would rather live in a place like Japan or Korea with drier air.

제안: Good structure and clear detail. Improve coherence by combining short fragments and using linking words. Be precise about frequency (e.g., "only during severe weather") and avoid sentence fragments.

예시: I usually don't check the forecast except during severe weather. For example, I always check the Hong Kong Observatory updates and typhoon warnings before deciding whether to go to work because a No. 8 signal often means schools and offices are closed.

제안: Answer directly and give specific consequences with correct grammar and linking words. Use plural forms where needed ("heat waves") and add one more precise effect or statistic if possible.

예시: One clear effect is more frequent and intense heat waves. For example, the Hong Kong Observatory has issued more heat warnings recently, which increase health risks for the elderly and put extra strain on electricity and water supplies.

제안: Be more specific about where and why; correct grammar and awkward phrases (e.g., "fine brained", "Four Seasons" should be "four distinct seasons"). Avoid filler words like "uh" and unnecessary negatives. State one or two concrete activities or reasons.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit cities in Europe to experience four distinct seasons. For example, I want to see autumn foliage in Germany and try winter activities like ice skating in Paris because I dislike hot weather and enjoy seasonal variety.

× Wow I'm living in Hong Kong and is extremely hot weather with scorching sun every day and I feel like living in the orphan everyday.

✓ Wow, I live in Hong Kong and it is extremely hot with the scorching sun every day, and I feel like living in an oven every day.

Errors: incorrect progressive use ('I'm living' suggests temporary; use simple present 'I live') and missing subject for 'is extremely hot' (should be 'it is'). 'orphan' is wrong vocabulary; likely intended 'oven'. Suggestion: Use simple present for general facts, include the dummy pronoun 'it' for weather, and choose correct noun.

× Well I definitely prefer cold weather as I love winter although I was born in summer but I'm not a summer girl because I love skiing, ice skating.

✓ Well, I definitely prefer cold weather as I love winter. Although I was born in summer, I am not a summer girl because I love skiing and ice skating.

Errors: run-on sentence and punctuation; 'I'm' OK but clearer to separate clauses. Use 'and' instead of comma before 'ice skating'. Suggestion: Break into two sentences and join items with 'and'.

× So if I can choose I want to live in a cold weather place.

✓ So if I could choose, I would want to live in a cold-weather place.

Errors: conditional tense incorrect. Use second conditional ('if I could choose') with 'would' to express hypothetical desire. Also compound adjective 'cold-weather' should be hyphenated.

× I would prefer a dry weather like Japan or Korea because I was living in Hong Kong for almost 30 years with the very humid weather that substantially altered my mood.

✓ I would prefer a dry climate like Japan or Korea because I have lived in Hong Kong for almost 30 years with very humid weather that has substantially affected my mood.

Errors: 'a dry weather' incorrect (use 'dry climate'); tense: 'was living' suggests past continuous but timeframe continues to present so use present perfect 'have lived'. 'altered' to 'has affected' matches recent continuing effect. Suggestion: use correct noun and present perfect for actions continuing to now.

× I don't usually check the weather forecast, but I do when the typhoon is coming.

✓ I don't usually check the weather forecast, but I do when a typhoon is coming.

Error: article missing before 'typhoon' when speaking generally; use 'a typhoon'. Also 'is coming' is acceptable; suggestion: include appropriate article.

× For example. I always look at the forecast and the typhoon warning before deciding whether to go to work or school because the number 8 signal means everything may be closed.

✓ For example, I always look at the forecast and the typhoon warning before deciding whether to go to work or school, because the number 8 signal means many things may be closed.

Errors: sentence fragment ('For example.' should attach to following sentence). 'everything may be closed' is exaggerated; 'many things' or 'many services' is clearer. Suggestion: combine clauses and choose more precise wording.

× The most direct effects of climate change recently has been more frequent and intense heat wave.

✓ The most direct effects of climate change recently have been more frequent and more intense heat waves.

Errors: subject 'effects' is plural so verb should be 'have' not 'has'. 'heat wave' should be plural 'heat waves' and use parallel 'more frequent and more intense'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and correct plural nouns.

× For example, the Hong Kong Observatory has issue heat warnings which increase health risks for the elderly and place extra strain on electricity and water supplies.

✓ For example, the Hong Kong Observatory has issued heat warnings, which increase health risks for the elderly and place extra strain on electricity and water supplies.

Errors: incorrect verb form 'has issue' should be present perfect 'has issued' (past participle). Add comma before 'which'. Suggestion: use correct past participle after 'has'.

× I would like to visit a city with different climates from where I live. Uh for example like Europe and I can experience the four extreme seasons but not like Thailand.

✓ I would like to visit a place with a different climate from where I live. For example, somewhere in Europe, where I can experience the four distinct seasons, rather than a country like Thailand.

Errors: 'city with different climates' is inconsistent (one city does not have multiple climates) and 'four extreme seasons' awkward; use 'four distinct seasons'. 'like Europe' should be 'somewhere in Europe'. Suggestion: choose precise nouns and natural collocations.

× I hate hot weather and I want to visit a fine brained Four Seasons climate cities.

✓ I hate hot weather and I want to visit a city with a pleasant, four-season climate.

Errors: 'fine brained' is incorrect phrase; likely intended 'fine-brained' doesn't make sense. 'Four Seasons climate cities' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: use 'city with a pleasant, four-season climate' and lowercase 'four-season' hyphenated as compound adjective.