Writing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: say your main idea first, avoid fillers (uh), correct word choice (use "aspiring" not "frustrated" if you mean hopeful), and limit to 2–3 sentences. Add one specific detail about what you write.

예시: Yes, I write a lot. I'm an aspiring author and in my spare time I write short stories and inspirational quotes to create a meaningful space for myself. For example, I recently wrote a short story about community kindness.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence, trim repetition, and use precise vocabulary. Limit to 3–4 sentences and include one concrete reason why you enjoy this theme.

예시: I enjoy writing coming-of-age stories about a young boy who dreams of traveling the world. I like this theme because it lets me explore personal growth and the impact one person can have on others. For instance, I wrote a scene where the boy helps classmates start a community project.

제안: Answer directly, then briefly explain with a specific example. Avoid unnecessary repetition (changes/changed). Use linking words like "because" or "as" to show cause.

예시: Yes, definitely — my writing will change as I gain more life experience. For example, after traveling I began to include more cultural details and realistic dialogue because I understand people better now.

제안: Be concise and remove hesitations and repeated words. Give one specific reason and one short example of when you choose handwriting over typing.

예시: I prefer handwriting because it feels more personal and helps me think more clearly. For instance, I handwrite first drafts of my stories to capture my ideas before typing them up.

제안: Start with a clear statement about current habit, then briefly describe past habit with one concrete detail. Avoid long, run-on sentences and capitalize words correctly.

예시: I don't keep a diary anymore, but I used to in college. Whenever I felt emotional I wrote entries and kept them in a folder so I could reread them later to reflect on my progress.

제안: Answer directly and avoid fillers. Mention 2–3 clear methods (e.g., photos, social posts, voice notes) and give a short example of when you use each. Use linking words for coherence.

예시: Besides photos on my phone, I record voice notes and post short updates on social media to remember trips. For example, after visiting a new city I take photos, record a quick voice memo about my impressions, and share a few highlights with friends.

× I'm actually, uh, frustrated author.

✓ I'm actually, uh, a frustrated author.

The noun 'author' is singular and countable, so it requires an article. Use the indefinite article 'a' before a singular countable noun when referring to one among many. Suggestion: include 'a' before 'frustrated author'.

× So in my spare time I usually write stories and inspirational quotes to help me build a special place on earth.

✓ So in my spare time I usually write stories and inspirational quotes to help me build a special place on earth.

No grammatical correction needed for tense; sentence is acceptable. Keep present simple 'write' for habitual action.

× I would like to write a story about a young boy who dreamed of traveling the world and making a difference among his peers and inspiring more and more people or more people as possible, and also make his parents proud.

✓ I would like to write a story about a young boy who dreams of traveling the world, making a difference among his peers, inspiring as many people as possible, and making his parents proud.

Tense consistency: 'would like to' introduces a present desire, so the relative clause should use present simple 'dreams' rather than past 'dreamed'. Also parallelism requires consistent verb forms ('making', 'inspiring', 'making'). 'As many people as possible' is the correct quantifier phrase. Suggestion: use present simple in the relative clause and maintain parallel gerund forms.

× Do you think the things you write would change?

✓ Do you think the things you write will change?

When asking about a likely future change, use 'will' rather than 'would'. 'Would' is conditional or hypothetical. Suggestion: use 'will' for straightforward future prediction.

× I think the things I write would change over a period of time.

✓ I think the things I write will change over time.

Consistency with prediction: after 'I think', use 'will' for a future prediction. Also 'over a period of time' is wordy; 'over time' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'will change over time'.

× As we grow old, our ideas and knowledge changes, so whenever we experience growth in our lives, our ideas and our thoughts would be different from the past.

✓ As we grow older, our ideas and knowledge change, so whenever we experience growth in our lives, our ideas and thoughts are different from the past.

Subject-verb agreement: 'ideas and knowledge' is plural and requires 'change' not 'changes' (Grammar problem type 27 also applies). Use 'grow older' (common collocation). Use present simple 'are different' for general statements rather than 'would be'. Suggestion: correct subject-verb agreement and use appropriate tense for general truths.

× I prefer handwriting because it's more personal than typing it, and whenever I hand write something it is one way of expressing myself and being able to get to to my to my point.

✓ I prefer handwriting because it's more personal than typing, and whenever I handwrite something, it is a way of expressing myself and getting to my point.

Don't repeat the pronoun 'it' after 'typing'—'typing' alone is sufficient. 'Handwrite' is one word. Remove duplicated words 'to to my to my'. Use 'a way' instead of 'one way of' for concision and 'getting to my point' is the natural phrasing. Suggestion: remove redundancy and fix spelling and repetition errors.

× I actually stopped keeping Diaries but I remember in back in college I used a journal so that whenever I end up being sad or frustrated or even happy and proud, I always write it on a piece of paper and keep it inside a folder and in the future I will read it.

✓ I actually stopped keeping diaries, but I remember back in college I used a journal so that whenever I was sad, frustrated, or even happy and proud, I would write it on a piece of paper and keep it in a folder to read later.

'Diaries' should be lowercase. 'In back in college' is ungrammatical; use 'back in college'. Tense consistency: use past 'was' and modal 'would' for habitual past action rather than present 'end up being' and 'always write'. 'Keep it inside a folder' is wordy; 'keep it in a folder' is natural. 'In the future I will read it' should be 'to read later' for clarity. Suggestion: normalize capitalization, fix word order, and keep consistent past tense for past habits.

× So aside from using my cell phone's camera, I also get to tell other people my stories and my experiences, uh, in a particular place.

✓ So aside from using my cell phone's camera, I also tell other people my stories and experiences about a particular place.

'Get to tell' implies permission or opportunity and is unnecessary here; simple 'tell' is clearer. 'My experiences in a particular place' is better expressed as 'experiences about a particular place' to indicate content. Suggestion: use direct verb 'tell' and use 'about' to indicate topic.

× Whenever I visit a new, uh, environment, I would tell a friend, uh, how I feel about it and give him feedback and that.

✓ Whenever I visit a new environment, I tell a friend how I feel about it and give them feedback and so on.

Use present simple 'tell' for habitual actions rather than 'would' (conditional). Avoid 'him' when gender unknown; use 'them' or 'a friend' without pronoun. 'And that' is informal; 'and so on' or omit. Suggestion: use present simple for habits and gender-neutral pronouns.