Writing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar and reduce repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repeating words and fix tense/word choice errors.

예시: Not really. I used to write a lot in school because of written assignments, but after finishing my bachelor’s degree I rarely write on paper. Instead, I take notes and keep records on my phone, which is more convenient for me.

제안: Answer directly and give a clear reason with specific example. Correct grammar (plural/singular, articles) and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid vague phrases like "many of the things".

예시: I prefer writing essays because it helps me relax and organize my thoughts. For example, I enjoy writing short essays about nature and its importance, as researching examples and describing scenes calm me down.

제안: Clarify your ideas and correct confusing expressions. Start with a direct statement about change, then give a reason and one specific example. Avoid unclear phrases like "vocal portion" or "gain new personality."

예시: Yes, I think my writing will change as I gain more experiences and read more. For instance, in five years I expect my essays to use clearer arguments and richer vocabulary because I will have more opinions to express.

제안: Be concise and avoid repetition. Give one or two clear reasons and a brief example. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement, pronoun use) and use linking words like "because" or "so" appropriately.

예시: I prefer handwriting because I feel it is more personal and I am more comfortable writing by hand. For example, when I write a journal entry by hand I remember details better than when I type.

제안: Answer directly with frequency and give a reason plus a specific alternative. Correct article usage and capitalization, and avoid redundancy.

예시: I rarely keep a diary. I find it hard to keep a traditional diary organized, so I usually record important things using a notes app on my phone instead.

제안: Provide a concise list of methods with specific examples and use linking words for clarity. Fix word choice errors (organizes → organizer) and keep responses within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I mainly use my mobile phone to record my life: I take photos and videos for visual memories, and I use the notes or memo app to track appointments and ideas.

× In my school days, I used to do a lot of assignments, especially on paper, so it was a very tedious track.

✓ In my school days, I used to do a lot of assignments, especially on paper, so it was very tedious.

The word 'track' is incorrect here; the intended meaning is 'task' or simply 'tedious'. This is a word choice/content error but manifests as sentence structure awkwardness. Replace 'a very tedious track' with 'very tedious' to correct the sentence and keep the past tense consistent.

× But after completion completion of my bachelor degree, I don't frequently write on my papers, but I do keep notes and tracks on my mobile phone.

✓ But after completing my bachelor's degree, I no longer frequently write on paper; I do keep notes and records on my mobile phone.

Duplicate word 'completion completion' is an error and 'after completion of my bachelor degree' is awkward; use the gerund 'completing' and possessive form 'bachelor's degree'. 'Don't frequently write on my papers' is awkward; use 'no longer frequently write on paper'. 'Tracks' is the wrong noun; use 'records' or 'notes'. Ensure tense consistency and clearer nouns.

× I don't like to write about many of the things, but if I have to, I like to write about essays.

✓ I don't like to write about many things, but if I have to, I like to write essays.

'Many of the things' is wordy and unidiomatic; 'many things' is correct. 'Write about essays' is incorrect collocation; we 'write essays' or 'write about topics'. This fixes quantifier and verb-object use.

× Sometimes writing essay makes me feel like relaxed and simple issues about why natures are important are very good.

✓ Sometimes writing essays makes me feel relaxed, and simple pieces about why nature is important are good.

Plural/singular and adjective/adverb errors: 'writing essay' should be 'writing essays' (noun number agreement). 'Feel like relaxed' is incorrect; use 'feel relaxed'. 'Simple issues about why natures are important' is ungrammatical—use 'simple pieces' or 'short pieces' and 'nature is important' (nature uncountable). This clarifies noun forms and adjective usage.

× I am not a vocal portion so I want I always want to put my thoughts on my paper so it is easier for me to convey my expression or mood.

✓ I am not a vocal person, so I always want to put my thoughts on paper because it is easier for me to convey my feelings or mood.

'Vocal portion' is wrong word choice and 'portion' should be 'person'. Duplicate 'I want I always want' is redundant. 'On my paper' is unnatural; use 'on paper'. 'Convey my expression' is odd—use 'convey my feelings or mood'. Fix pronouns and word choice.

× So after long time I think I will gain new personality.

✓ So after a long time I think I will develop a new personality.

Missing article 'a' before 'long time'. 'Gain new personality' is unnatural; use 'develop a new personality' or 'change as a person'. Maintain future tense 'will' but correct noun phrase.

× I prefer handwriting over typing because I don't have appropriate typing skills because I am not a corporate person and hasn't required my field to type for a long period of time.

✓ I prefer handwriting over typing because I don't have appropriate typing skills; I am not a corporate person and my field has not required me to type for a long time.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'hasn't required my field to type' is incorrect. Use 'my field has not required me to type'. Also avoid repeating 'because'; split into clearer clauses. Ensure pronoun 'me' is used as object.

× So also I believe that handwriting is more connected and personal to me than typing.

✓ I also believe that handwriting feels more connected and personal to me than typing.

'So also' is awkward; use 'I also believe'. 'More connected and personal to me' is acceptable but 'feels more connected' is more natural. This fixes sentence flow.

× No, I don't like to keep Diaries.

✓ No, I don't like to keep diaries.

'Diaries' should not be capitalized; capitalization is a style error. Also 'to keep diaries' is fine; ensure lowercase.

× I think I don't have the ideas to keep my Diaries and keep them in organised ways.

✓ I think I don't have the ideas for keeping a diary or organizing it properly.

'My Diaries' and 'keep them' is awkward when speaking generally; use 'a diary' or 'diaries' consistently. 'Organised ways' should be 'organizing it properly'. Fix pronoun reference and noun phrase.

× But if I have to keep any kind of notes or then I can use my mobile phone or can use notes app to keep any kind of virtual Diaries.

✓ But if I have to keep any kind of notes, I can use my mobile phone or a notes app to keep virtual diaries.

Redundant conjunction 'or then' is incorrect; simplify to a single conditional clause. Use 'a notes app' and 'virtual diaries' (lowercase) for clarity. Remove extra modal 'can' duplication.

× To record my life I use mobile phone instead of traditional method like keeping diary.

✓ To record my life I use my mobile phone instead of traditional methods like keeping a diary.

Missing possessive 'my' before 'mobile phone'. 'Method' should be plural 'methods' to match 'like keeping a diary'. Add article 'a' before 'diary'. This fixes prepositions and articles.

× For any kind of visual memories I always use photo or video or if I have to keep track of something then I always use organizes or organizer or memo.

✓ For visual memories I always use photos or videos, and if I need to keep track of something I always use an organizer or a memo.

'Any kind of' is wordy; 'visual memories' is sufficient. Use plural 'photos or videos'. 'Organizes or organizer or memo' is messy; choose 'an organizer or a memo'. Fix quantifiers and noun forms.