Writing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Give a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, avoid unrelated phrases (e.g. “we can separate society”), reduce hesitation and repetition. Use one or two supporting reasons with linking words (because / so) and specific examples. Keep answer under 5 sentences.

예시: Not really. I don't write much these days because I do most of my communication and schoolwork on a computer. For example, I type emails and assignments online because it's faster and easier to edit.

제안: Start with a direct answer (what you like to write), then give a concise reason and a specific example. Avoid vague phrases like “any kind of news all over the world.” Use linking words such as because or for example to organize ideas.

예시: I like writing short messages and social media posts because they let me share opinions quickly. For example, I often type comments about current events or send updates to friends about interesting news stories.

제안: Make your position clearer with a direct statement and give a specific reason or prediction. Avoid vague wording and repetition like “in a flow” and “maybe.” Use linking words (because / although / while) to show logic.

예시: I don't think my writing topics will change drastically because I usually follow current trends online. However, as my interests grow I might start writing more about specialized subjects, such as technology or photography.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence (I prefer typing) and two concise, well-expressed reasons. Avoid grammatical errors (use “doesn't” not “don't”) and filler phrases. Use linking words (because / so) and one brief example.

예시: I prefer typing because it's faster and makes correcting mistakes easy. For example, when I write essays online I can quickly delete and reorganize sentences without tiring my hand.

제안: Answer directly about frequency (e.g. rarely or never), then explain reasons with clear, specific language. Avoid repeating the word ‘diaries’ unnecessarily and unclear phrases like “be on flow” — say ‘keep notes’ or ‘bullet points’ instead. Use linking words to structure the reply.

예시: I rarely keep a diary. Instead, I take short notes and lists because they fit my busy schedule better and help me remember tasks without committing to daily entries.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the method (schedules or lists), then give specific details about how you use it. Avoid hesitations and vague phrasing such as “be in the act.” Use linking words (for example / for instance) to make the explanation coherent.

예시: I use a daily schedule to record my life. For example, I make a timed to-do list that allocates specific time blocks for study, exercise and meals, which helps me stay focused and productive.

× So we can separate society.

✓ So we can separate from society.

The original sentence uses 'separate society' which implies dividing society itself. The intended meaning is separating oneself from society, so the preposition 'from' is needed with the verb 'separate'. Use 'separate from society' to clearly indicate distancing oneself.

× I don't really write a lot because there are a lot of new technologies.

✓ I don't really write a lot because there are many new technologies.

'A lot of' is acceptable in speech but 'many' is more appropriate with countable noun 'technologies' in more formal correction. Keep present simple 'don't write' to match ongoing state.

× For instance, it could be keyboard.

✓ For instance, it could be the keyboard.

A definite article 'the' is required when referring to a specific device like 'the keyboard'. Without 'the' the noun sounds incomplete. Alternatively, use 'a keyboard' if speaking generally.

× I mostly type, then write, uh, then do writing.

✓ I mostly type rather than write by hand.

Original is repetitive and ungrammatical ('do writing' is awkward). Structure the contrast clearly: 'type rather than write by hand' conveys intended meaning concisely.

× because yeah, I'm studying mostly online and it's very convenient.

✓ because I'm mostly studying online and it's very convenient.

Move 'mostly' to before 'studying' for natural word order in present continuous. Tense (present continuous) is correct for current arrangement.

× So personally, as I said before, I don't really like writing, but I mostly type on my keyboard and I like to type messages for my friends, maybe some kind of statement about any kind of news all over the world.

✓ Personally, as I said before, I don't really like writing, but I mostly type on my keyboard and I like to type messages for my friends, or maybe write short posts about news from around the world.

Long sentence is awkward and uses 'some kind of statement about any kind of news' which is unclear. Replace with 'write short posts about news from around the world' for clarity and natural collocation. Keep present simple for habits.

× And I see it is very interesting and fascinating.

✓ I find it very interesting and fascinating.

Use 'find' to express opinion; 'see it is' is awkward. 'I find it' + adjective is natural in English.

× So I don't think that the things that I write would change because I write on the relevant things and I'm trying to be in a in a flow and find everything new in the Internet and just create new maybe.

✓ I don't think the things I write will change because I write about relevant topics, try to stay in a flow, discover new things on the Internet, and create new content.

Use 'will' for future prediction instead of 'would'. Clean up redundancy and word order: 'write about relevant topics', 'discover new things on the Internet', and 'create new content' are clearer. Remove filler words and correct article usage ('the Internet').

× So yeah, as I said before, I mostly prefer typing because it's more convenient and it don't take a lot of energy from your arms and you can just delete if you have a mistake and correct it.

✓ As I said before, I mostly prefer typing because it's more convenient, it doesn't take much energy from your arms, and you can delete mistakes and correct them.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'it don't' should be 'it doesn't'. Also improve phrasing: 'take much energy' is more natural than 'take a lot of energy from your arms', and 'delete mistakes and correct them' is clearer.

× And it is very, you know, convenient for eyes.

✓ And it is easier on the eyes.

'Convenient for eyes' is unidiomatic. Use idiomatic expression 'easier on the eyes' to mean less strain visually.

× So I don't really like Diaries.

✓ I don't really like keeping diaries.

'Diaries' as a noun needs context; 'keeping diaries' or 'keeping a diary' is the common collocation. Also lowercase 'diaries'.

× I mostly like to have to take notes.

✓ I mostly prefer to take notes.

Original contains extra modal 'have to' making sentence ungrammatical. Use 'prefer to take notes' to express habit or preference.

× And I think it's more convenient As for me to, uh, be on flow with notes than with diary.

✓ And I think it's more convenient for me to be in a flow with notes than with a diary.

Use 'for me' (not 'As for me to') and correct preposition 'in a flow'. Also include articles: 'a diary'.

× And I don't really like Diaries because of its schedules, because I like to act.

✓ I don't really like diaries because of their schedules; I prefer to act spontaneously.

Mismatch of pronoun: 'its' should be 'their' to agree with plural 'diaries'. Clarify meaning by replacing 'like to act' with 'prefer to act spontaneously'.

× So the one method is my I think schedule is.

✓ One method I use is having a schedule.

Original is disfluent and ungrammatical. Rephrase to a clear subject-verb-object structure: 'One method I use is having a schedule.'

× It is a list of my daily routine in which I have like the personal period of time for each action during the day.

✓ It is a list of my daily routine in which I allocate a specific time period for each activity during the day.

Replace informal 'like the personal period of time' with 'a specific time period' and use 'activity' instead of 'action' for natural collocation. 'Allocate' expresses assigning time clearly.

× I think it's very convenient to be in the act.

✓ I think it's very convenient to stay active and focused.

'Be in the act' is unnatural. Use natural phrase 'stay active and focused' to convey being engaged in tasks. Adjusts sentence to clear meaning.