Writing— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to make your answer more concise and grammatically correct. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for clarity. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

예시: I don't write very often, but at work I compose many emails. Additionally, I sometimes jot down important moments from my day in my diary, although I don't do this daily.

제안: Focus on completing your sentences clearly and avoid repetition. Use linking words to explain your feelings and reasons more coherently.

예시: I like to write about important moments and memories from my past because it allows me to relive those experiences. This gives me a unique and comforting feeling.

제안: Try to organize your ideas more clearly and use linking words to connect your points. Also, avoid repeating words and improve sentence grammar.

예시: I think what people write changes over time because they experience new things. Therefore, their writings reflect different events and feelings, depending on what happens in their lives.

제안: Improve sentence structure and clarity by removing unnecessary words and using linking phrases. Also, explain your preference with specific reasons.

예시: I prefer typing because I type many emails at work every day. Typing is more convenient and saves time compared to handwriting, which I rarely do nowadays.

× Not a lot but when I work I used to compose a lot of emails and also sometimes I write what happened during my day on my diary.

✓ Not a lot but when I worked I used to compose a lot of emails and also sometimes I wrote what happened during my day in my diary.

The sentence mixes present tense 'work' with past tense 'used to compose'. To maintain consistency, 'work' should be in past tense 'worked' to match 'used to compose' and 'wrote'. Also, 'on my diary' should be 'in my diary' (preposition correction).

× I write what happened during my day on my diary.

✓ I write what happened during my day in my diary.

The correct preposition to use with 'diary' is 'in' because you write inside the diary, not on it.

× So it is not something I keep every day but just important moments it happened in my life.

✓ So it is not something I keep every day but just important moments that happened in my life.

The phrase 'important moments it happened' is incorrect. 'Moments' is plural, so the relative pronoun should be 'that' and the verb should be 'happened' without 'it'.

× I like to write the important moments or the memories that happened to me in the past, so which make me feel, which make me feel like I, I get a chance to go through that moments again.

✓ I like to write the important moments or the memories that happened to me in the past, which make me feel like I get a chance to go through those moments again.

The phrase 'so which make me feel, which make me feel like I, I get a chance' is redundant and ungrammatical. 'Which make me feel' should be used once, and 'that moments' should be 'those moments' to match plural form.

× ...like I, I get a chance to go through that moments again.

✓ ...like I get a chance to go through those moments again.

The demonstrative pronoun 'that' is singular, but 'moments' is plural. The correct plural form is 'those'.

× As people usually write it down what happened to them during the past, usually people experience different things, they write new things and it it doesn't have any connection with the writings they have made in the past.

✓ As people usually write down what happened to them in the past, they experience different things, write new things, and it doesn't have any connection with the writings they have made before.

The phrase 'write it down what happened' is incorrect; 'write down what happened' is correct. Also, 'during the past' should be 'in the past'. The sentence was also repetitive and had a duplicated 'it'.

× But it depends upon what are the things that happens.

✓ But it depends on what things happen.

The correct preposition is 'depends on' not 'depends upon'. Also, 'that happens' should be 'that happen' to agree with plural 'things'.

× I prefer typing because every day I when I work I used to type a lot of emails and handwriting is very unusual because I nowadays everyone has their own convenience and it saves a lot of time.

✓ I prefer typing because every day when I work I type a lot of emails, and handwriting is very unusual nowadays because everyone has their own convenience and it saves a lot of time.

The phrase 'I used to type' implies past habit, but the context is present habit, so 'I type' is correct. Also, the sentence structure was awkward and needed reordering for clarity.