Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 문장이 산만하고 반복 및 발화 충돌(umm)이 있어 자연스럽지 않습니다. 지시에 따라 직접적으로 대답한 뒤 구체적이고 간결한 추가 정보를 연결사로 덧붙이세요. 지명은 철자가 정확해야 하고 계절·기후를 설명할 때는 구체적 수치나 비교를 한 문장에 하나씩 담아 말하세요.

예시: My hometown is Daegu in the southeast of South Korea. It is known for very hot summers, with temperatures often exceeding 35°C, which makes the city feel stifling during July and August.

제안: 문장 구조가 어색하고 'Unlike' 사용이 부적절합니다. 간결한 주제문 다음에 이유와 구체적 예시를 논리적으로 연결하세요. 연결어(for example, because, so)와 시제·복수·동사 형태를 정확히 사용하도록 연습하세요.

예시: I like the public transport in my hometown because the buses and subways run frequently and are well connected. For example, my daily commute takes only 20 minutes by bus, which saves me a lot of time.

제안: 숫자 표현과 현재완료 구조가 어색하게 쓰였습니다. 불필요한 단어(예: in, la)와 반복을 제거하고 'have lived'의 자연스러운 사용으로 간결하게 답하세요.

예시: I have lived in Daegu for the past 27 years. I grew up there and still live with my family, so it has been my home for a long time.

제안: 의사를 분명히 표현했지만 어휘 선택과 문법 오류(몇몇 단어의 복수형, 전치사 사용)가 많습니다. 이유를 구체적으로 제시하고 결과를 연결할 때 적절한 연결사를 사용하세요. 대체 표현(young people often move to larger cities)과 구체적 예(직종, 여가시설)를 추가하면 설득력이 높아집니다.

예시: I don't think my hometown is ideal for young people because there are few good job opportunities and limited entertainment options. As a result, many young people move to larger cities to find better work and a more active social life.

× It has very hot summers, so people often say it felt like umm often because temperature can get extremely high.

✓ It has very hot summers, so people often say it feels like that because the temperature can get extremely high.

Original uses 'felt' (past) and omits definite article before 'temperature'. The sentence describes a general present condition, so use present tense 'feels'. Also add 'the' before 'temperature' for specificity. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual or general truths and include articles where required.

× Unlike the convenient transportation in my hometown, it has a well connected bus and subway system with frequent service, so it's easy to commute to work or go shopping.

✓ My hometown has well-connected bus and subway systems with frequent service, so it's easy to commute to work or go shopping.

Sentence began with 'Unlike' incorrectly comparing two things; remove that and make subject clear. 'Well connected' should be hyphenated as 'well-connected' when preceding nouns, and use plural 'systems' to match buses and subways. Suggestion: state the subject first and use hyphenation for compound adjectives.

× For example, my commute only take 20 minutes by bus subway which save.

✓ For example, my commute only takes 20 minutes by bus or subway, which saves time.

Subject 'commute' is singular, so verb should be 'takes'. Missing conjunction 'or' between 'bus' and 'subway'. 'Which saves' needs an object ('time') to be clear. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with subject number and complete relative clauses.

× I have lived in **** for the past in 27 years.

✓ I have lived in **** for the past 27 years.

Extra preposition 'in' is unnecessary after 'past'. Use present perfect with 'for the past 27 years' to indicate duration up to now. Suggestion: remove redundant words and keep correct time expressions.

× I grew up there and still la live with my family, so it's been my home for a long time.

✓ I grew up there and still live with my family, so it's been my home for a long time.

Typo 'la' should be removed; 'still live' is correct present tense. Pronoun use is fine but remove extraneous characters. Suggestion: proofread to remove typos and ensure verb form matches meaning.

× I don't think my hometown is ideal for young people because there are a few good job opportunity and limited entertainment.

✓ I don't think my hometown is ideal for young people because there are few good job opportunities and limited entertainment.

Use 'few' (not 'a few') to emphasize scarcity and make 'job opportunity' plural: 'job opportunities'. 'A few' would imply some exist, changing meaning. Suggestion: choose 'few' vs 'a few' based on intended meaning and match noun number.

× As a result, many young people feel bored and move of bigger cities for work and a more activity.

✓ As a result, many young people feel bored and move to bigger cities for work and more activities.

Use preposition 'to' after 'move'. 'Of' is incorrect. 'a more activity' is ungrammatical; use plural 'more activities' or 'a more active life'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions with verbs and ensure noun phrases are coherent and pluralized when needed.