Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a direct and clear response with correct grammar. Avoid redundancy and unnecessary phrases.

예시: I was born and raised in Kathmandu, so I consider it my hometown.

제안: Your answer is somewhat confusing and lacks coherence. Use linking words to connect your ideas and be more specific. Also, avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases.

예시: I like that Kathmandu is the capital city because it offers many facilities such as good transportation, advanced technology, and medical services. Moreover, it is relatively clean and peaceful compared to other cities.

제안: Your answer is too long and confusing with unclear phrases. Try to give a direct answer first, then add supporting details with clear linking words. Avoid irrelevant information.

예시: I have lived in Kathmandu since I was born. Although my father's home is in Japan, I feel more connected to Kathmandu because I grew up here.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains many hesitations and incomplete thoughts. Try to organize your ideas logically and use linking words. Be specific about why it is good for young people.

예시: Yes, Kathmandu is a good place for young people because many students from outside the valley come here to study and explore career opportunities. It offers good education and social activities that help them grow.

× I was born and brought off by my parents in Kathmandu itself, so I consider this my home place.

✓ I was born and brought up by my parents in Kathmandu itself, so I consider this my home place.

The phrase 'brought off' is incorrect in this context; the correct phrase is 'brought up' which means raised. This is a past tense verb usage error.

× The so Kathmandu is my home place.

✓ So, Kathmandu is my home place.

The sentence has an unnecessary article 'The' before 'Kathmandu' which is a proper noun and does not require an article. This is an article error related to singular and plural usage.

× it has every facilities that occur.

✓ it has every facility that is needed.

The word 'every' should be followed by a singular noun, so 'facilities' should be 'facility'. Also, 'that occur' is awkward; 'that is needed' fits better. This is an incorrect use of quantifiers.

× A place actually needs to live in this 21st century.

✓ It is actually a place one needs to live in this 21st century.

The original sentence lacks a clear subject and verb structure, making it incomplete. The correction provides a proper sentence structure.

× The technology, the transportation services, medical services, the cleanliness, the peacefulness, somewhere in between the city is also.

✓ It also has technology, transportation services, medical services, cleanliness, and peacefulness somewhere in the city.

The original sentence is a fragment and lacks proper structure. The correction forms a complete sentence listing the features.

× I despite my father's home being on Jabba and being in Japan, Nepal and me being born here, I do connect with this place more rather than that because I was born and brought up here.

✓ Despite my father's home being in Jabba and him being in Japan, and me being born here in Nepal, I connect with this place more than that because I was born and brought up here.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect for locations; 'in' is correct. Also, sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× There has been, it has been easy since people from umm you know, outside the valley, complete the tin or their plaster level and come here and do their major story which helps them to decide about their career path, not only on the education side but parting and you know.

✓ It has been easy since people from outside the valley complete their tenth or their plus two level and come here to do their major studies, which helps them decide about their career path, not only in education but also in other aspects.

Pronouns and some words are incorrect or unclear ('tin' should be 'tenth', 'plaster' should be 'plus two', 'major story' should be 'major studies'). The sentence is restructured for clarity and correct pronoun use.