Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer provides relevant information but is too long and slightly unfocused. Try to keep your response concise and directly answer the question first, then add one or two specific details. Avoid inaccuracies, such as the bomb's name, and use linking words to improve coherence.

예시: My hometown is Nagasaki, which is in the southwestern part of Japan. It is historically significant because it was one of the cities affected by the atomic bomb during World War II.

제안: Your answer is relevant but contains hesitations and some redundancy. Try to organise your ideas clearly using linking words and avoid filler words. Provide more specific details to enrich your answer.

예시: I like the natural scenery in Nagasaki, especially its long seashore, which is the second longest in Japan. Because of this, the area is famous for fresh and delicious seafood, which I always enjoy.

제안: Your answer addresses the question but includes hesitations and some unclear phrasing. Try to speak more fluently and organise your ideas logically. Use linking words to connect your points and avoid unnecessary details that do not directly answer the question.

예시: I have lived in Nagasaki for 18 years. However, after finishing high school, I moved to Tokyo to attend university, which was a sad experience because I had to say goodbye to my family.

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and better sentence structure. Also, avoid minor grammatical errors and use linking words to make your answer more coherent.

예시: No, I don't think Nagasaki is very attractive for young people because there are fewer job opportunities compared to big cities. As a result, more than one third of my generation left Nagasaki after finishing high school.

× My hometown is Nagasaki, located in the southwestern area of Japan and that area is quite important and famous especially among the people in the US as the atomic bomb named Fatima was dropped in 1945 which ended the World War 2.

✓ My hometown is Nagasaki, located in the southwestern area of Japan, and that area is quite important and famous especially among the people in the US as the atomic bomb named Fat Man was dropped in 1945 which ended World War 2.

The definite article 'the' is not used before 'World War 2' in standard English. Also, the bomb's name is 'Fat Man', not 'Fatima'. Correcting these improves accuracy and proper article usage.

× I like the natural scenery in Nagasaki and Nagasaki is a quite, uh, famous among Japanese people for the second longest, uh, seashore in Japan.

✓ I like the natural scenery in Nagasaki and Nagasaki is quite famous among Japanese people for having the second longest seashore in Japan.

The phrase 'a quite famous' is incorrect because 'quite' is an adverb modifying 'famous' and does not require the article 'a'. Also, 'for the second longest seashore' is incomplete; it should be 'for having the second longest seashore' to clarify the meaning.

× So you can eat very delicious and various fish there, uh, which was quite memorable.

✓ So you can eat very delicious and various kinds of fish there, which was quite memorable.

The adjective 'delicious' should modify 'fish', but 'various' needs a noun to modify, so 'various kinds of fish' is correct. Also, 'which was quite memorable' refers to the experience, so the sentence is corrected for clarity.

× I have umm, remembered the situation at that time because it was a quite a depressing as I had to say goodbye to family.

✓ I remember the situation at that time because it was quite depressing as I had to say goodbye to my family.

The present perfect 'have remembered' is not appropriate here; simple present 'remember' fits better for a current recollection. Also, 'a quite a depressing' is incorrect; it should be 'quite depressing'. The possessive 'my family' is needed for clarity.

× No, I don't think my hometown is a very attractive area, especially among young people because there are lesser job opportunities compared to urban cities.

✓ No, I don't think my hometown is a very attractive area, especially among young people because there are fewer job opportunities compared to urban cities.

'Lesser' is used for uncountable nouns or comparative degree; 'fewer' is correct for countable nouns like 'job opportunities'. This correction improves grammatical accuracy.

× So at my generation, over 1 thirds people graduating from high school left Nagasaki.

✓ So in my generation, over one third of people graduating from high school left Nagasaki.

The phrase 'at my generation' should be 'in my generation'. '1 thirds' is incorrect; it should be 'one third'. Also, 'one third of people' requires 'of' to be grammatically correct.