Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서
대화
Part 1
시험관
Where is your hometown?
수험생
My hometown is in the eastern part of Nepal named as Virat Nagar which is located in the Thorai region. It's a very hot place, however I love it.
시험관
What do you like about your home town?
수험생
The thing I like about my hometown is how people have a very frank and helpful nature. I can always feel free to walk around as a woman, which might be really on self in other areas.
시험관
How long have you lived there?
수험생
I have lived here for almost 18 years now and it's an amazing experience here.
시험관
Is your home town a good place for young people?
수험생
Yes, my hometown is actually a perfect spot for young people because there are lots of clubs. Also those who are not fascinated by clubs, we can also find hiking areas very commonly. Also it's free of cost to go there. I mean it does take transport fees but there is no gate pass or tickets to go inside.
평가
총점
Part 1
Where is your hometown?
점수: 75.0제안: Your answer is clear but can be more natural and concise. Avoid unnecessary words like 'named as' and try to combine sentences smoothly using linking words.
예시: My hometown is Virat Nagar, located in the Thorai region in eastern Nepal. Although it's very hot there, I love living in this place.
What do you like about your home town?
점수: 70.0제안: Try to use more natural expressions and correct grammar. For example, instead of 'really on self', use 'rare' or 'uncommon'. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
예시: I like that people in my hometown are very frank and helpful. Moreover, as a woman, I feel safe walking around, which is rare in other areas.
How long have you lived there?
점수: 65.0제안: Your answer is short and lacks detail. Try to provide more information and avoid repeating words like 'here'. Use linking words to enrich your response.
예시: I have lived in Virat Nagar for almost 18 years, and during this time, I have had many amazing experiences that make me proud of my hometown.
Is your home town a good place for young people?
점수: 70.0제안: Try to avoid repetition of 'also' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words like 'however' and 'in addition' to connect ideas logically.
예시: Yes, my hometown is a great place for young people because it has many clubs. However, for those who prefer nature, there are plenty of hiking areas available. In addition, visiting these places is free, except for transport costs, as there are no entrance fees.
문법
× I can always feel free to walk around as a woman, which might be really on self in other areas.
✓ I can always feel free to walk around as a woman, which might be really unsafe in other areas.
The word 'on self' is incorrect here; the intended meaning is 'unsafe'. Using the correct adjective 'unsafe' clarifies the sentence meaning.
× Also those who are not fascinated by clubs, we can also find hiking areas very commonly.
✓ Also, for those who are not fascinated by clubs, we can find hiking areas very commonly.
The original sentence lacks a preposition before 'those' and has awkward structure. Adding 'for' before 'those' and adjusting the sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.
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