Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Try to use correct grammar and avoid filler words like 'uh'. Also, make your sentences more concise and clear. For example, say 'I am from Iran and was born in Adebayil, a city in the north known for its beautiful landscapes and weather. However, my family moved to Tehran when I was a child to pursue better opportunities.'

예시: I am from Iran and was born in Adebayil, a city in the north known for its beautiful landscapes and weather. However, my family moved to Tehran when I was a child to pursue better opportunities.

제안: Avoid repeating filler words and improve sentence structure. Also, clarify your ideas and use linking words to connect your points. For example, 'Although I don't live in Adebayil anymore, I visit it sometimes. I really enjoy the traditional foods and the rich culture of the people there because they are incredible and unique.'

예시: Although I don't live in Adebayil anymore, I visit it sometimes. I really enjoy the traditional foods and the rich culture of the people there because they are incredible and unique.

제안: Try to answer directly and clearly without hesitation or filler words. For example, 'I lived in Adebayil until I was two years old. Since then, I have lived in Tehran and only visit Adebayil twice a year.'

예시: I lived in Adebayil until I was two years old. Since then, I have lived in Tehran and only visit Adebayil twice a year.

제안: Improve grammar and sentence clarity. Use linking words to explain your opinion. For example, 'To be honest, I don't think Adebayil is ideal for young people because it is a small city with fewer facilities. Therefore, I believe young people should live in big cities where there are more opportunities to achieve their goals.'

예시: To be honest, I don't think Adebayil is ideal for young people because it is a small city with fewer facilities. Therefore, I believe young people should live in big cities where there are more opportunities to achieve their goals.

× I from Iran and I was born in Adebayil, that's located in the northern of my country and is famous, uh, by the beautiful landscapes and weather.

✓ I am from Iran and I was born in Adebayil, which is located in the north of my country and is famous for its beautiful landscapes and weather.

The sentence is missing the verb 'am' after 'I' to form the present tense 'I am from Iran'. 'That's' should be 'which is' to correctly introduce the relative clause. 'In the northern of my country' is incorrect; it should be 'in the north of my country' because 'north' is a noun here. Also, 'famous by' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'famous for'. These preposition errors affect clarity and correctness.

× However, when I was a child, uh, we moved to Tehran to continue our, uh, life and make a, a more opportunity to achieve our goals.

✓ However, when I was a child, we moved to Tehran to continue our life and create more opportunities to achieve our goals.

The phrase 'make a more opportunity' is incorrect because 'opportunity' is a countable noun and should be pluralized as 'opportunities' when preceded by 'more'. Also, 'make' is not the best verb here; 'create' fits better. The sentence uses past tense correctly otherwise.

× As I told before, we immigrate to, uh, Tehran and I don't have any specific experience about the living in this city, but uh, sometimes we, uh, visit this city and I'm really amazed by the, uh, traditional foods and especially the culture of people because it's, uh, incredible, amazing and I'm really like it.

✓ As I told you before, we immigrated to Tehran and I don't have any specific experience living in this city, but sometimes we visit it and I'm really amazed by the traditional foods and especially the culture of the people because it's incredible and amazing and I really like it.

The verb 'immigrate' should be in past tense 'immigrated' to match the past event. 'About the living' is incorrect; it should be 'living' without 'about the'. 'I'm really like it' is incorrect; it should be 'I really like it' because 'like' is a verb and does not need 'am'. Also, 'the culture of people' is better as 'the culture of the people'. These corrections improve grammatical accuracy and clarity.

× It's a tough question because I was so, uh, child and I think when I was, uh, two years old, uh, we moved to Tehran and, uh, I just live in this city, uh, for, uh, twice a year.

✓ It's a tough question because I was so young, and I think when I was two years old, we moved to Tehran, and I have only lived in this city twice a year since then.

'I was so child' is incorrect; it should be 'I was so young' or 'I was a child'. 'I just live' should be 'I have only lived' to indicate the present perfect tense for an action continuing to the present. 'For twice a year' is incorrect; 'twice a year' is sufficient without 'for'. These changes correct tense and expression errors.

× To be honest, no, because it's a small city and in my opinion, umm, living in a big city are better because the facility are more than the small cities.

✓ To be honest, no, because it's a small city and in my opinion, living in a big city is better because the facilities are more than in small cities.

'Living in a big city are better' is incorrect; the subject 'living' is singular, so the verb should be 'is'. 'The facility are' is incorrect; 'facility' should be plural 'facilities' to match 'are'. Also, 'more than the small cities' needs 'in' before 'small cities' for correct comparison. These corrections fix subject-verb agreement and pluralization errors.

× So uh, I think it's a good place for uh, older people and younger people should live to a big cities to make a opportunity to achieve their goals.

✓ So, I think it's a good place for older people, and younger people should live in big cities to have opportunities to achieve their goals.

'Live to a big cities' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'live in big cities'. 'A big cities' is incorrect because 'cities' is plural and 'a' is singular. 'Make a opportunity' is incorrect; it should be 'have opportunities' because 'opportunity' is countable and plural here. These corrections improve preposition use and noun number agreement.