Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cümlenizi daha doğal ve akıcı hale getirmek için gereksiz tekrarları ve dilbilgisi hatalarını düzeltmelisiniz. Ayrıca, cümlenizi daha kısa ve net tutarak, doğrudan soruya yanıt vermelisiniz.

예시: My hometown is Istanbul, the most popular and crowded city in Turkey, known worldwide. Although it is not the capital, it is famous for its rich culture and history.

제안: Cevabınızı daha açık ve mantıklı hale getirmek için düşüncelerinizi daha iyi organize etmeli ve bağlaçlar kullanmalısınız. Ayrıca, cümlenizi tamamlayarak daha spesifik detaylar vermelisiniz.

예시: I like my hometown because it combines modern life with rich history. For example, Istanbul is famous for the Bosphorus Strait, which connects two continents.

제안: Cümlenizi daha doğal yapmak için zaman ifadelerini doğru kullanmalı ve cümlenizi daha akıcı hale getirmelisiniz. Ayrıca, şehir isimlerini doğru yazmaya dikkat edin.

예시: I have lived in Istanbul for almost 20 years. After that, my family moved to Mersin, a city located in the Mediterranean region of Turkey.

제안: Cümlenizi daha akıcı ve doğal yapmak için tekrarları azaltmalı ve daha net ifadeler kullanmalısınız. Ayrıca, bağlaçlarla cümlenizi daha tutarlı hale getirin.

예시: My hometown is a great place for everyone, not just young people, because there are many activities and interesting places to visit.

× My home hometown is Istanbul which is most popular city in Turkey because it's known all is known from all over all around the world.

✓ My hometown is Istanbul, which is the most popular city in Turkey because it is known all around the world.

The definite article 'the' is required before 'most popular city' to specify that Istanbul is the top city in popularity. Also, the phrase 'it's known all is known from all over all around the world' is redundant and incorrect; it should be simplified to 'it is known all around the world.'

× So it's most crowded city in my country and beside that it's not capital city of Turkey, there is.

✓ So it's the most crowded city in my country, and besides that, it is not the capital city of Turkey.

The definite article 'the' is needed before 'most crowded city' and 'capital city' to specify these unique entities. Also, 'beside that' should be 'besides that' to mean 'in addition.' The phrase 'there is' at the end is unnecessary and incorrect here.

× I like my hometown cause I'm bored of a modern life, city and history with each other so it influenced me a lot.

✓ I like my hometown because I am tired of modern life; the city and its history together have influenced me a lot.

The sentence has structural issues: 'cause' should be 'because' for formal speech; 'bored of a modern life' is better expressed as 'tired of modern life'; 'city and history with each other' is unclear and should be rephrased to 'the city and its history together.' Also, the sentence needs proper punctuation to separate ideas.

× And Istanbul has a rich history because there is a Bosphorus and it's between.

✓ Istanbul has a rich history because the Bosphorus Strait runs through it.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'There is a Bosphorus and it's between' is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. The correction specifies the geographical feature and its significance clearly.

× I lived there almost 20 years and after that my family moved to Marisin in IS, which is another city in Turkey located the Mediterranean area.

✓ I have lived there for almost 20 years, and after that, my family moved to Mersin in Turkey, which is another city located in the Mediterranean area.

The present perfect tense 'have lived' is appropriate for an action continuing up to the present or recent past. 'Marisin in IS' seems to be a typo; it should be 'Mersin in Turkey.' Also, 'located the Mediterranean area' needs the preposition 'in' before 'the Mediterranean area.'

× My hometown, My hometown is good place for everyone, not only for just young people, because you can find there a lot of activities to do and a lot of places you need to visit.

✓ My hometown is a good place for everyone, not just young people, because you can find many activities to do and many places you need to visit.

The phrase 'good place' needs the article 'a' before it. 'Not only for just young people' is redundant; 'not just young people' is clearer. 'A lot of' is informal; 'many' is more appropriate here. Also, 'My hometown' is repeated unnecessarily.

× So it's for every, everyone.

✓ So it's for everyone.

The phrase 'for every, everyone' is incorrect and redundant. 'Everyone' alone is sufficient and grammatically correct.