Hometown— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally natural and informative, but it is a bit long and slightly redundant. Try to make your response more concise and avoid repeating similar ideas. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

예시: I'm from Tokyo, a vibrant city in Japan. Although life there is fast-paced, it's very convenient because of the extensive public transportation system, including buses and trains.

제안: Your answer is clear but could be improved by avoiding repetition and adding more specific details. Also, try to use linking words to make your answer more coherent.

예시: I like the convenience and accessibility in my hometown. For example, the excellent public transportation and diverse stores and restaurants ensure there's always something interesting to do.

제안: Your answer is clear and well-structured. To improve, you could use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly and avoid abrupt transitions.

예시: I have lived in Tokyo for about 20 years since I was born in 1989. However, I moved to the United States later to pursue my doctoral degree.

제안: Your answer addresses the question but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and better linking words. Also, avoid minor grammar mistakes and be more specific about the crime rate and safety.

예시: I think Tokyo is a good place for young people because it offers many social events and parties where they can meet new friends. However, some neighborhoods have higher crime rates, so it's important to stay cautious in those areas.

× Although the lifestyle there is a little bit fast-paced, it is also extremely convenient to get around because there are so many public transportation options including buses and trains, which makes me comfortable.

✓ Although the lifestyle there is a little bit fast-paced, it is also extremely convenient to get around because there are so many public transportation options including buses and trains, which make me comfortable.

The relative clause 'which make me comfortable' refers to 'public transportation options' which is plural, so the verb should be 'make' instead of 'makes' to agree with the plural subject.

× As I mentioned earlier, there are so many public transportation options and also they offer a wide range of stores and restaurants so you will never be bored.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, there are so many public transportation options and also there are a wide range of stores and restaurants so you will never be bored.

The pronoun 'they' is incorrectly used to refer to 'public transportation options' and 'stores and restaurants' collectively. It is clearer and grammatically correct to use 'there are' to introduce the existence of stores and restaurants.

× Then to pursue my doctor's degree, I had to move out to the United States.

✓ Then to pursue my doctor's degree, I had to move to the United States.

The phrase 'move out to' is incorrect here. The correct expression is 'move to' when indicating relocation to another place. 'Move out' is used when leaving a place, usually a residence.

× I believe so because there are a wide variety of opportunities for young people such as social events and party so you can meet a lot of new friends.

✓ I believe so because there are a wide variety of opportunities for young people such as social events and parties so you can meet a lot of new friends.

The word 'party' should be plural 'parties' to match the plural noun 'social events' and to correctly indicate multiple types of opportunities.

× However, there are some areas with a higher crime rate so you want to pay attention to surrounding.

✓ However, there are some areas with a higher crime rate so you want to pay attention to your surroundings.

The word 'surrounding' is incorrect here; the correct noun is 'surroundings' meaning the environment around you. Also, adding 'your' clarifies the meaning.