Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence (I work / I'm a student), then add one or two brief specific details using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and awkward phrases. Pronounce organization names clearly and use articles and verb forms correctly.

예시: I currently work for a non-governmental organization that focuses on combating corruption. I work as a researcher there, and my role involves collecting data and writing reports to support anti-corruption programs.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence stating your job and workplace. Use correct prepositions and articles (a/an/the), and link ideas with simple connectors (and, which). Give one clear specific detail such as the organization's name, location, or your main task.

예시: I work as a researcher for an NGO based in Indonesia that focuses on fighting corruption. It is the local chapter of an international organization headquartered in Germany, and I help monitor corruption cases and prepare analytical reports.

제안: Answer directly (Yes/No) and give two clear reasons. Use natural linking words (because, and, so) and correct word forms (comfortable, enjoy researching, effectiveness). Keep sentences short and focused to avoid confusion.

예시: Yes, it's a very good place to work because I enjoy researching topics like politics and corruption, and the team supports my professional growth. The working environment is comfortable and colleagues are collaborative, so I feel productive.

제안: Answer the question directly and then explain your preference. Use correct nouns and articles (an academy/a campus), correct verb forms (become a lecturer), and clear linking (however, so). Mention a brief reason and future intention in one or two sentences.

예시: I would prefer to work at a university because my dream is to become a lecturer and teach students. However, opportunities are limited right now, so working as a researcher at my current NGO is a good choice that gives me relevant experience.

제안: State your plan clearly: short-term and long-term. Use correct tense and phrases (continue working, apply for a scholarship, pursue a PhD, become a lecturer). Keep it concise and logical with linking words (and, while, so that).

예시: In the short term I plan to continue working at the NGO to gain more experience, while applying for scholarships to pursue a PhD. With a doctorate I hope to become a university lecturer and combine teaching with research.

× Today I'm a worker, specifically worker in non governmental organizations that issue that we focus on in a combat corruptions.

✓ Today I'm a worker, specifically a worker in a non-governmental organization that focuses on combating corruption.

The sentence has multiple structure problems: missing article before 'worker', incorrect pluralization and word order ('non governmental organizations' should be 'a non-governmental organization' if singular), wrong relative clause and verb form ('that issue that we focus on' is incorrect), and incorrect noun phrase 'a combat corruptions'. Corrected by adding articles, using singular noun and correct verb 'focuses' for third person singular, and using the gerund 'combating' with the uncountable noun 'corruption'. Suggestions: add necessary articles (a/the), choose singular or plural consistently, use correct verb forms for relative clauses, and use 'combating corruption' instead of 'in a combat corruptions'.

× I am working as a researcher in a non governmental organization in Indonesia and NGO is both in a aspect of combat of corruption.

✓ I am working as a researcher in a non-governmental organization in Indonesia, and the NGO is part of the international effort to combat corruption.

Problems: missing article before 'non-governmental organization' and before 'NGO', incorrect phrase 'in a aspect of combat of corruption'. Use 'part of the international effort to combat corruption' or 'a chapter of an international NGO'. Suggestions: add definite/indefinite articles as needed, replace awkward prepositional phrases with 'part of' or 'a chapter of', and use 'to combat corruption' or 'combating corruption'.

× It's chapter of the international NGO that in German headquarter.

✓ It is a chapter of an international NGO whose headquarters are in Germany.

Errors: missing article before 'chapter', incorrect relative clause 'that in German headquarter', and subject-verb agreement for 'headquarters' (plural). Correct by adding 'a', using 'whose' to link organization to its headquarters, plural 'headquarters', and correct location 'in Germany'. Suggestion: use 'whose headquarters are in Germany' or 'with its headquarters in Germany'.

× My workplace is one of the comfortable workplace that I ever work in because I think that I love to research make an efficacy about many issues such as a politics, corruption and others a similar issue.

✓ My workplace is one of the most comfortable workplaces I have ever worked in because I love doing research on many issues such as politics, corruption and other similar topics.

Errors: article and plural mistakes ('one of the comfortable workplace' should be 'one of the most comfortable workplaces'), tense and verb form ('I ever work in' should be present perfect 'I have ever worked in'), awkward phrasing 'love to research make an efficacy about' should be 'love doing research on' or 'love to research', incorrect article 'a politics', and 'others a similar issue' should be 'other similar topics'. Suggestions: use superlative with 'one of the most', ensure plural agreement, use present perfect for life experiences, and use 'research on' plus appropriate nouns ('topics', 'issues').

× So I think that it's too comfortable that work in the because.

✓ So I think it is very comfortable to work there.

Problems: redundant and broken phrasing ('too comfortable that work in the because' is ungrammatical), misused 'too' (implies excessive), and incorrect 'the because'. Correct to a simple, clear sentence 'very comfortable to work there'. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary words and keep sentence concise and grammatical.

× Especially I would like to work in a Academy or campus because I think that my dream is become a lecturer.

✓ Especially, I would like to work at an academy or on a campus because my dream is to become a lecturer.

Errors: wrong article 'a Academy' (should be 'an academy'), prepositions with workplaces ('work at an academy' or 'work on a campus'), and missing infinitive marker 'to' in 'become a lecturer'. Suggestion: use correct articles and infinitive 'to become', and choose proper prepositions 'at' or 'on' depending on context.

× But actually today because the opportunity is just little opportunity on that.

✓ But currently there are only a few opportunities for that.

Errors: awkward temporal phrasing and article/quantifier misuse ('just little opportunity' should be 'only a few opportunities'), wrong preposition 'on that'. Use 'currently' or 'at the moment' and 'for that'. Suggestion: use natural adverbs for time and correct quantifier phrases such as 'a few' or 'few' with plural nouns.

× So I think that become a researcher in my workplace today is good choice also and I think that I'm very enjoy with that because it.

✓ So I think becoming a researcher at my current workplace is a good choice, and I really enjoy it.

Errors: missing gerund 'becoming', article 'a good choice', wrong preposition 'in my workplace today', and incorrect phrase 'I'm very enjoy with that because it' which mixes verb forms and pronouns. Correct by using 'becoming', 'at my current workplace', and 'I really enjoy it'. Suggestion: use gerund after 'think', ensure correct prepositions, and use 'enjoy' with direct object ('enjoy it').

× I would like to continue my currently in working in non governmental organizations, but I'm still looking for the scholarship to continue our doctoral education so that I think I would like to manifest my dream to become a lecturer than and it's very fantastic to process about it.

✓ I would like to continue working in non-governmental organizations, but I am still looking for a scholarship to pursue doctoral studies so that I can realize my dream of becoming a lecturer, which would be fantastic.

Multiple errors: word order ('continue my currently in working' is wrong), article and noun forms ('a scholarship', 'doctoral studies'), awkward verb choice 'manifest my dream' should be 'realize my dream' or 'achieve my dream', incorrect conjunction 'than', and awkward final clause 'it's very fantastic to process about it'. Correct by simplifying and using standard collocations: 'continue working', 'a scholarship', 'pursue doctoral studies', 'realize my dream of becoming a lecturer'. Suggestion: use natural verbs and collocations for academic goals and simplify sentence structure.