Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct tense consistency. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one brief supporting detail (role or years). Avoid repeating 'so' and combining present and past tenses incorrectly.

예시: I am currently working as a government-employed chemist. I've been in this role for almost nine years, during which I have gained extensive laboratory experience.

제안: Provide a direct answer about location first, then one clear specific detail. Remove fillers and unclear fragments (e.g., stray name). Use correct phrasing for distance/time.

예시: I work at a government laboratory in Samarina City. It takes about nine to ten minutes to get there from my home, which makes the commute very convenient.

제안: Answer directly and support with two concise reasons using linking words. Avoid hesitations and past/present mismatch (enjoyed → enjoy).

예시: Yes, it's a good place to work because I've been there for almost nine years and have built a strong reputation as the laboratory head. Moreover, I enjoy good relationships with my colleagues, which makes the environment pleasant.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence then one or two specific reasons with smooth linking words. Remove fillers and fix sentence structure (e.g., "I like the neighborhood; it's peaceful").

예시: Yes, I like the place where I work because it is in a provincial area with much lighter traffic than the city. Also, the neighborhood is peaceful, which I find very pleasant.

제안: State your plan clearly, use correct grammar (master's degree), and give a brief timeline or specific goal. Avoid hesitations and be confident about intended steps.

예시: I am planning to pursue a master's degree to qualify for higher positions. After completing it, I intend to apply for senior roles and ultimately aim to become the head of our division.

× I am currently working so I am a government employee and I worked there for almost 9 years.

✓ I am currently working as a government employee and I have worked there for almost nine years.

The original mixes present ('I am currently working') with simple past ('I worked there for almost 9 years') where present perfect is appropriate to show an action that started in the past and continues to the present. Use 'have worked' and spell out small numbers as words in formal speech. Also use 'working as a government employee' for correct collocation.

× As I mentioned, I am working in a government office, so it's a nine to 10 minutes away from home and it is located in the Samarina City. Kavita.

✓ As I mentioned, I work in a government office, and it is nine to ten minutes away from my home; it is located in Samarina City.

Use 'work in' is acceptable but 'I work' is simpler than continuous for habitual situation. Say 'nine to ten minutes' (use consistent number format and no 'a' before the time range). Use 'from my home' not 'from home' for clarity. Do not use 'the' before proper city name 'Samarina City'. 'Kavita.' appears extraneous and should be removed.

× Yes, I must say yes because I've been working there for almost 9 years.

✓ Yes, I must say so, because I've been working there for almost nine years.

Use 'say so' rather than 'say yes' in this context to agree with the question. Maintain present perfect 'I've been working' is correct; spell out 'nine' for formality.

× I have established my reputation as a laboratory head and I have, uh, made friends with them and I enjoyed working in our company.

✓ I have established my reputation as the head of the laboratory, I have made friends with my colleagues, and I enjoy working in our company.

Replace 'laboratory head' with 'the head of the laboratory' for natural phrasing. 'Made friends with them' is vague—use 'my colleagues'. 'I enjoyed' is past tense but the intended meaning is ongoing enjoyment, so use present 'I enjoy'. Remove filler 'uh'.

× Uh, I am working in a province and the traffic compared to the city is very little and I like uh, the. The neighborhood here, it's peaceful.

✓ I work in a province, so there is much less traffic compared to the city, and I like the neighborhood here because it's peaceful.

Use 'I work' for habitual fact. 'Very little' is for uncountable quantities; use 'much less traffic' or 'a lot less traffic'. Remove extra 'the.' Combine fragments into one clear sentence and remove fillers 'uh'.

× I am trying to get my masters degree so that I can apply for a much higher position in the future and eventually I will become uh, the head of our uh division.

✓ I am trying to get my master's degree so that I can apply for a higher position in the future, and eventually I hope to become the head of our division.

Use 'master's degree' with possessive apostrophe and singular 'master's'. 'Much higher' is informal; 'a higher position' is clearer. 'I will become' promises certainty; 'I hope to become' is more natural for aspirations. Remove filler 'uh' and extra 'our' is fine but keep 'the head of our division'.