Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is generally clear but could be more concise and natural. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases like "which just wants to away from my home." Try to structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, using linking words to improve coherence.

예시: I'm currently working as a dentist at a clinic near my home. I really enjoy my job because it allows me to interact with patients and do what I love.

제안: Your answer provides useful details but contains some awkward phrasing and redundancy, such as "stone's throw away" and "I feel very self capable self." Try to use more natural expressions and avoid repeating ideas. Also, use linking words to connect your sentences smoothly.

예시: I work full-time at a dental hospital very close to my home. I usually start at 9 a.m. and finish around 8:30 p.m. I enjoy my work and feel confident in my role.

제안: Your answer is positive and descriptive but repeats "apart from that" multiple times, which affects naturalness. Try to use varied linking words and more precise vocabulary to make your answer more engaging and coherent.

예시: Yes, it's a great place to work because patients can easily consult doctors. Moreover, the environment is cosy and welcoming, and we always offer patients support and understanding.

제안: Your answer shows enthusiasm but has some grammatical errors and redundancy, such as "very and as a backbone." Try to use clearer sentence structures and avoid repeating the same idea. Use linking words to connect your points logically.

예시: Yes, I love my workplace. As a recent graduate, I find it supportive because the senior dentist encourages me and provides many learning opportunities. He is truly the backbone of the clinic.

제안: Your answer is incomplete and contains grammatical mistakes and unclear phrases. Try to complete your thoughts clearly, use proper grammar, and organize your ideas logically with linking words. Be specific about your future plans and goals.

예시: In the future, I plan to pursue a master's degree to improve my skills. I also want to see more patients and develop better communication skills to help them effectively.

× I'm currently working as a dentist in a clinic which just wants to away from my home and I love and enjoy doing my job.

✓ I'm currently working as a dentist in a clinic which is just a stone's throw away from my home and I love and enjoy doing my job.

The phrase 'wants to away from my home' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'is just a stone's throw away from my home' to indicate proximity. Using the correct preposition 'away from' with the phrase 'stone's throw' properly conveys the intended meaning.

× It allows me to have interaction with patients which is one of the finest things that I love about my job and apart from that I also get to do what I really love, so it's great.

✓ It allows me to have interaction with patients, which is one of the finest things that I love about my job, and apart from that, I also get to do what I really love, so it's great.

The sentence is missing commas to separate clauses properly, which affects clarity. Adding commas after 'patients' and 'job' helps to correctly link the relative clause and separate ideas, improving readability and grammatical correctness.

× I work in a dental hospital which is stone's throw away from my home and it is a full time job.

✓ I work in a dental hospital which is a stone's throw away from my home and it is a full-time job.

The phrase 'stone's throw away' is missing the article 'a' before it. Also, 'full time' should be hyphenated as 'full-time' when used as an adjective. These corrections ensure proper use of articles and compound adjectives.

× I love going to the job and I feel very self capable self.

✓ I love going to the job and I feel very self-capable.

The phrase 'self capable self' is incorrect. The correct adjective is 'self-capable' to describe feeling capable of oneself. The repetition of 'self' is unnecessary and grammatically incorrect.

× It allows patients to freely consult a doctor and apart from that it also is a very cosy environment with a good ambience.

✓ It allows patients to freely consult a doctor and, apart from that, it also has a very cosy environment with a good ambience.

The phrase 'it also is a very cosy environment' is awkward. Using 'it also has' is more natural and grammatically correct to indicate possession of the environment. Additionally, commas are added around 'apart from that' to set off the phrase properly.

× Apart from that, we also provide patients with help and understanding, so it's a very good and kind place to work in.

✓ Apart from that, we also provide patients with help and understanding, so it's a very good and kind place to work.

The preposition 'in' at the end is unnecessary and redundant after 'place to work'. Removing 'in' makes the sentence grammatically correct and more natural.

× Yes, I love my workplace. It is a very great environment for a freshly graduate because the senior dentist that I'm working under is very supportive and encourages me and he offers me a lot of new opportunities from which I learn.

✓ Yes, I love my workplace. It is a great environment for a fresh graduate because the senior dentist that I'm working under is very supportive and encourages me, and he offers me a lot of new opportunities from which I learn.

The phrase 'very great' is redundant; 'great' alone suffices. Also, 'freshly graduate' is incorrect; the correct term is 'fresh graduate'. Adding a comma before 'and he offers' improves sentence flow.

× And he's a great support and as a very and as a backbone of the clinic.

✓ He is a great support and serves as the backbone of the clinic.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains redundant conjunctions 'and as a very and as a'. The corrected sentence removes redundancy and clarifies the meaning by properly linking ideas.

× I tend to do my masters in future, I want to increase my learning skills and make sure that I see a lot more patients and I'm and have a good communication skill with the patients and also I'm able to help them and provide them with their.

✓ I plan to do my master's in the future. I want to improve my learning skills, see many more patients, develop good communication skills with them, and be able to help and provide for their needs.

The original sentence is a run-on with unclear phrasing and missing words. Breaking it into clearer sentences and correcting 'masters' to 'master's' and 'communication skill' to 'communication skills' improves clarity and grammatical correctness. The phrase 'provide them with their' is incomplete and is corrected to 'provide for their needs' to complete the thought.