Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is informative but incomplete and slightly repetitive. Try to complete your thoughts and avoid redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep your answer within 5 sentences.

예시: Currently, I am an international student pursuing a postgraduate diploma in Global Business Management. Alongside my studies, I work part-time as a cashier at an Indian restaurant. My responsibilities include handling the cash register, maintaining records, and addressing customer complaints. This job helps me improve my communication and problem-solving skills, which are valuable for my future career.

제안: Your answer has some hesitation and grammatical errors. Try to speak confidently and use correct tenses. Also, use linking words to make your answer coherent and avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

예시: I work at an Indian restaurant called Adani Swepsen, which is quite popular here in Canada. As a cashier, I interact with many customers daily, which allows me to improve my communication and problem-solving skills. These experiences are helping me develop important interpersonal abilities.

제안: Your answer is clear but can be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words to contrast ideas. Also, avoid repeating words like 'cooperative' multiple times.

예시: Overall, it is a good place to work because the staff members are very supportive. However, the managers and supervisors are less approachable, which sometimes makes it difficult to discuss issues. Despite this, the friendly colleagues help maintain a positive working environment.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical mistakes. Try to organize your ideas logically and use linking words to explain your opinion clearly. Also, avoid incomplete sentences and ensure your points are relevant to the question.

예시: Yes, I like the place where I work, although the interiors and decoration could be improved for both customers and employees. For example, the dining area has a separate entrance, which restricts customers from moving freely. Nevertheless, the restaurant is well organized overall.

제안: Your answer has several grammatical errors and unclear phrases. Please use correct grammar and clarify your ideas. Also, avoid irrelevant or confusing words like 'furniture' and 'yesterdays'. Use linking words to explain your plans logically.

예시: I am an accountant by profession and hold a bachelor's degree in accounting. In the future, I plan to pursue my CPA qualification. However, at the moment, I lack the necessary resources, so I intend to start this course in three to four years when I am better prepared financially and personally.

× Along with my study, I worked part time at an Indian restaurant where I served as a store cashier.

✓ Along with my study, I work part time at an Indian restaurant where I serve as a store cashier.

The sentence mixes present context ('Currently, I'm an international student') with past tense verbs ('worked', 'served'). Since the student is currently working, present tense should be used to maintain consistency and accuracy.

× There my responsibilities include handling cash register, maintaining records and handling customer complaints.

✓ There my responsibilities include handling the cash register, maintaining records, and handling customer complaints.

The phrase 'handling cash register' is missing the definite article 'the' before 'cash register'. Also, commas are needed to separate items in the list for clarity.

× By working at an Indian restaurant, I can improve my.

✓ By working at an Indian restaurant, I can improve my skills.

The sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly. It needs an object after 'my' to complete the thought, such as 'skills'.

× I worked at an Indian restaurant named Adani Swepsen restaurant, which is uh, quite popular here in the Canada.

✓ I work at an Indian restaurant named Adani Swepsen restaurant, which is quite popular here in Canada.

The student is currently working there, so present tense 'work' is appropriate. Also, 'the Canada' is incorrect; 'Canada' does not require a definite article.

× which is uh, quite popular here in the Canada.

✓ which is quite popular here in Canada.

Country names like 'Canada' do not take the definite article 'the'. Removing 'the' is correct.

× I worked as a store cashier over there and that while working there, I got a chance to interact with different people and able to solve their problems, which helps me to improve my communication skills and problems, all these skills.

✓ I work as a store cashier over there and while working there, I get a chance to interact with different people and am able to solve their problems, which helps me to improve my communication skills and problem-solving skills.

Since the student is currently working, present tense verbs should be used. Also, 'able to solve' needs the auxiliary verb 'am' for correct grammar. 'Problems' is better expressed as 'problem-solving skills' for clarity.

× which helps me to improve my communication skills and problems, all these skills.

✓ which helps me to improve my communication skills and problem-solving abilities.

The phrase 'communication skills and problems' is incorrect; 'problems' should be replaced with 'problem-solving abilities' to correctly express the intended meaning.

× It is a quite good place to work.

✓ It is quite a good place to work.

The article 'a' should come after the adverb 'quite' in this phrase for correct word order.

× However, the manager and supervisors, they are not cooperative.

✓ However, the manager and supervisors are not cooperative.

The pronoun 'they' is redundant when the subject 'the manager and supervisors' is already stated. Removing 'they' corrects the sentence.

× We are always reluctant to broach them with other doubts or problems, even though we are still managing to work there properly due to the cooperative staff member and colleagues.

✓ We are always reluctant to broach our doubts or problems with them, even though we are still managing to work there properly due to the cooperative staff members and colleagues.

The pronouns are misplaced. 'Broach them with doubts' is incorrect; it should be 'broach our doubts with them'. Also, 'staff member' should be plural 'staff members' to match 'colleagues'.

× It is quite a good place to work the interiors and the decoration, not the up to mark for the customer as well As for the employees.

✓ It is quite a good place to work. The interiors and the decoration are not up to the mark for the customers as well as for the employees.

The original sentence is a run-on and lacks proper punctuation. Also, 'not the up to mark' is incorrect; it should be 'not up to the mark'. 'Customer' should be plural 'customers'.

× The dining area has a separate entrance and so the customers cannot do their food freely.

✓ The dining area has a separate entrance, so the customers cannot take their food freely.

The phrase 'do their food' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'take' or 'eat'. Also, a comma is needed before 'so'.

× Over there, everything is properly organized.

✓ Everything there is properly organized.

While the original sentence is understandable, 'Everything there is properly organized' is more natural and concise.

× As I am an accountant by profession and I hold my bachelor's degree in accountant so in future I want to pursue my CPA but at the moment I don't have a in front end resources to do so.

✓ As I am an accountant by profession and I hold my bachelor's degree in accounting, in the future I want to pursue my CPA, but at the moment I don't have the necessary resources to do so.

'Bachelor's degree in accountant' is incorrect; it should be 'in accounting'. The phrase 'a in front end resources' is incorrect and unclear; 'the necessary resources' is appropriate.

× So I'm planning to do it after three to four years when I will have sufficient furniture to support me yesterdays.

✓ So I'm planning to do it after three to four years when I will have sufficient funds to support me financially.

'Furniture' is incorrect in this context; the intended word is likely 'funds'. 'Yesterdays' is incorrect and unnecessary here.