Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer provides relevant information but is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences clearer and more concise, avoid repetition, and use proper grammar. Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences for better effectiveness.

예시: I recently graduated as a computer engineer from Pashmansal Campus last month. Since July 10th, I have started working as a mobile app developer at a software company called Slick Solutions. It has been an exciting transition from student life to professional work.

제안: Your answer is informative but contains some unclear phrases and grammatical mistakes. Try to use clearer sentence structures and avoid awkward phrasing. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

예시: I work at a software company called Slick Solutions, located in Bisal Nagar, Kathmandu. It is a small but friendly team of about 15 people, including 7 mobile app developers, and I am one of them. Overall, it's a great team to be part of.

제안: Your answer shows positive opinions but is incomplete and has grammatical errors. Try to complete your sentences fully and avoid repetition. Use linking words to organize your points clearly.

예시: Based on my experience over the past two months, I think it's a good place to work. The people are very supportive; for example, the CEO is soft-spoken, the HR team is friendly, and my fellow software engineers are helpful.

제안: Your answer is positive but incomplete and somewhat repetitive. Try to finish your thoughts clearly and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

예시: Yes, I definitely like the place where I work. As I mentioned, it's located in Bishan Nagar, which has a peaceful environment. Additionally, my desk faces a window, so I can enjoy looking outside and feel more relaxed during work.

제안: Your answer provides some ideas but is unclear and incomplete. Try to express your future plans clearly and fully, using correct grammar and linking words to organize your thoughts.

예시: I recently started working as a mobile application developer, but in the future, I plan to transition to native development, focusing on iOS. If that is not possible, I might switch to backend development, which is somewhat related.

× I recently graduated as a country as a country engineer from Pashmansal campus just the last month.

✓ I recently graduated as a country engineer from Pashmansal campus just last month.

The phrase 'as a country as a country engineer' is repetitive and incorrect. Removing the repeated phrase corrects the sentence structure and clarifies the meaning.

× And from that I've recently joined a software company called Slick Solutions is mobile app developer since this July 10th.

✓ And since then, I've recently joined a software company called Slick Solutions as a mobile app developer since July 10th.

The original sentence lacks proper conjunction and verb agreement. Adding 'since then' and 'as a mobile app developer' clarifies the meaning and corrects the sentence structure.

× I've joined it has a very small but it very nice team of around 15 people out of Weeds.

✓ I've joined it; it has a very small but very nice team of around 15 people.

The original sentence is fragmented and confusing. Separating into two clauses with a semicolon and removing 'out of Weeds' (which is unclear) improves clarity and sentence structure.

× 7 are the mobile app developers and I'm one of them.

✓ Seven are mobile app developers, and I'm one of them.

Starting a sentence with a numeral is generally avoided; spelling out 'Seven' is preferred. Also, removing 'the' before 'mobile app developers' corrects the sentence structure.

× As far I have experienced in these two months, I would say it's quite a nice place to work.

✓ As far as I have experienced in these two months, I would say it's quite a nice place to work.

The phrase 'As far I have experienced' is missing the preposition 'as'. Adding 'as' corrects the sentence structure.

× The people are quite supportive, even the CEO is quite is very softly spoken.

✓ The people are quite supportive; even the CEO is very softly spoken.

The phrase 'is quite is very' is redundant and incorrect. Removing the extra 'is quite' and using a semicolon improves sentence flow and correctness.

× The HR is quite friendly and supportive and the these fellow software engineers are quite supportive and.

✓ The HR is quite friendly and supportive, and these fellow software engineers are quite supportive.

The phrase 'and the these' is incorrect; removing 'the' and the trailing 'and' corrects the sentence structure.

× Yes, yes, I definitely like the place where I work because it's quite a nice place.

✓ Yes, I definitely like the place where I work because it's quite nice.

Repeating 'yes' is unnecessary, and 'quite a nice place' is redundant after 'the place where I work'. Simplifying improves clarity.

× It's as I mentioned earlier, it's in Bishan Nagar.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, it's in Bishan Nagar.

The phrase 'It's as I mentioned earlier' is awkward and redundant. Removing the first 'It's' corrects the sentence structure.

× So it's it has quite a peaceful environment and even I have a desk facing the window.

✓ So it has quite a peaceful environment, and I even have a desk facing the window.

The phrase 'it's it has' is redundant. Also, repositioning 'even' improves sentence flow.

× So I get to take a look of what's happening in the surrounding and also take a.

✓ So I get to take a look at what's happening in the surroundings and also take a break.

The phrase 'take a look of' is incorrect; it should be 'take a look at'. 'Surrounding' should be plural 'surroundings'. The sentence is incomplete; adding 'break' completes the thought.

× I recently started working as a mobile application developer, but in the future I'm thinking of making a transition to a native side.

✓ I recently started working as a mobile application developer, but in the future I'm thinking of making a transition to native development.

The phrase 'to a native side' is unclear and incorrect. Replacing it with 'to native development' clarifies the meaning.

× So I think I'll be working more easy iOS developer and if that's not possible I think I'll make a transition to back end developer which has quite similar but.

✓ So I think I'll be working more as an iOS developer, and if that's not possible, I think I'll make a transition to back-end developer, which is quite similar.

The phrase 'working more easy iOS developer' is incorrect; it should be 'working more as an iOS developer'. Adding commas and correcting 'back end' to 'back-end' improves clarity. The sentence was incomplete; completing it improves understanding.