Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains many incomplete or confusing phrases. Try to give a direct and concise response to the question, clearly stating whether you work or study, and provide relevant details without redundancy or unclear expressions.

예시: I'm currently a senior student at ESLA, located in the southern part of Yangon. I'm preparing for my ideal IG CSE exams to advance my education.

제안: Your answer is confusing and does not directly answer the question. Since you are a student, clearly state that and mention if you have any part-time work or relevant activities. Avoid unclear phrases and repetition.

예시: I'm actually a student attending Asla Wisham. I don't currently work, but I focus on my studies to prepare for my future career.

제안: Your answer has some good ideas but is unclear and contains incomplete sentences. Try to clearly describe the environment and benefits of the place, using linking words to connect your ideas logically.

예시: Yes, it's a school with a tranquil environment that helps me improve my social skills and personal growth. Everyone supports each other, making it a great place to learn and work.

제안: Your answer is positive but incomplete and repetitive. Try to complete your thoughts and provide specific reasons why you like the place, using linking words to make your answer coherent.

예시: Yes, I definitely like the school I'm attending because it is very supportive. The headmistress and staff help me pursue my ideal career by providing guidance and encouragement.

제안: Your answer is unclear and mentions illegal activities, which is inappropriate. Focus on legal and positive career goals, clearly stating your ambitions and reasons. Avoid hesitation and irrelevant details.

예시: When I was young, I dreamed of becoming an accountant or entrepreneur. I want to work hard and become successful at a young age through honest and legal means.

× I'm currently a senior student attendant in ESLA, which I'm preparing for my ideal IG CSE and yeah, I it's located in subordinate area and in the yeah, saturated in South by the area located in Yangon.

✓ I'm currently a senior student attendant at ESLA, where I'm preparing for my ideal IGCSE, and yeah, it's located in a suburban area in the southern part of Yangon.

The preposition 'in' was incorrectly used with 'ESLA'; 'at' is correct for institutions. 'Subordinate area' is incorrect; the correct term is 'suburban area'. 'Saturated in South by the area' is unclear and incorrect; it should be 'in the southern part of Yangon'. Using correct prepositions clarifies location and relationships.

× Oh, actually I'm a student. So yeah, I'm basically attending Asla Wisham. Yeah, wish I'm a student. I'm working half 2 past two, my ideal career and yeah.

✓ Oh, actually I'm a student. So yeah, I'm basically attending ESLA Wisham. Yes, I'm a student. I'm working part-time towards my ideal career, and yeah.

The sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Working half 2 past two' is incorrect and unclear; it should be 'working part-time'. Repetition and unclear phrases were corrected for clarity and proper sentence structure.

× It's a, it's a school. It is a really tranquil century which could enhance my social skills and my human nature.

✓ It's a school. It is a really tranquil center which could enhance my social skills and my human nature.

The word 'century' is incorrect here; the intended word is 'center'. Using the correct adjective or noun is essential for conveying the right meaning.

× That's a really great school, you know, I've ever seen it. It, it has we, we help each other and do **** you know.

✓ That's a really great school, you know, the best I've ever seen. We help each other and do our best, you know.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'I've ever seen it' is incomplete; it should be 'the best I've ever seen'. The phrase 'It, it has we, we help each other and do ****' is ungrammatical and unclear; corrected to a clear, grammatically correct sentence.

× Yes, I definitely favor the school I'm currently attending and it's a really helpful.

✓ Yes, I definitely favor the school I'm currently attending and it's really helpful.

The adjective 'helpful' should not be preceded by the article 'a' when used predicatively. Removing 'a' corrects the sentence.

× I found it very helpful and supportive to pursue my ideal career and the headmistress and the staff were very.

✓ I found it very helpful and supportive to pursue my ideal career, and the headmistress and the staff were very kind and supportive.

The sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly. Adding appropriate adjectives completes the thought and improves clarity.

× I mean, I, I have, I have imagined to be acquitted when I was young, but when, when I, when I reach at Boston, I think of to be a entrepreneur or accountant to Mon money laundering, you know, it's kind of illegal.

✓ I mean, I have imagined being an accountant when I was young, but when I reached Boston, I thought of becoming an entrepreneur or accountant to make money, you know, although money laundering is illegal.

'Imagined to be acquitted' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'imagined being an accountant'. 'Reach at Boston' should be 'reached Boston'. 'Think of to be' should be 'thought of becoming'. 'Mon money laundering' is unclear; corrected to 'make money' with a note on illegality. Correct prepositions and verb forms improve clarity.

× I think of to be a entrepreneur or accountant to Mon money laundering, you know, it's kind of illegal.

✓ I think of becoming an entrepreneur or accountant to make money laundering, you know, it's kind of illegal.

The article 'a' should be 'an' before a vowel sound in 'entrepreneur'. Also, 'to be' should be 'becoming' for correct verb form after 'think of'. Correct article usage and verb form are necessary for grammatical accuracy.

× But yeah, I would definitely do everything to become wealthy at the young age.

✓ But yeah, I would definitely do everything to become wealthy at a young age.

The phrase 'at the young age' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'at a young age' without the definite article 'the'.