Work— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is informative but could be more natural and concise. Try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. For example, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and correct minor grammar errors.

예시: I am currently a student at a prestigious school in my country, founded by our first president. It is well known for its high academic standards and intellectual environment, where every student's talent is appreciated.

제안: Your answer is understandable but lacks coherence and contains some grammar mistakes. Use linking words to connect ideas and form complete sentences. Also, clarify your intentions more naturally.

예시: I don't work at the moment, but in the future, I would like to have part-time jobs to earn my own money for expenses. Ultimately, I want to work as a doctor.

제안: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to express your ideas more clearly and logically using linking words. Avoid incomplete sentences and ensure your points are relevant and specific.

예시: I think working in medicine is a good place because it helps develop consistency and manage stress. Also, having a supportive environment with close friends nearby makes the workplace comfortable.

제안: Good answer with clear ideas. To improve, try to use more varied vocabulary and link your sentences more smoothly for better coherence.

예시: Yes, I believe having a good workplace is essential because working in a supportive environment with close friends nearby makes the job more enjoyable and less stressful. This is especially important in medicine, which is a demanding and stressful profession.

제안: Your answer is relevant but could be more natural and fluent. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct grammar mistakes. Also, try to be more specific about your motivation.

예시: As I mentioned, my future career will be in medicine. I chose this path since childhood because my father is a doctor, and his dedication and ability to handle stress have really inspired me.

× Currently, I am a student at prestigious school in my country which was founded by our first president.

✓ Currently, I am a student at a prestigious school in my country which was founded by our first president.

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before 'prestigious school'. In English, singular countable nouns usually require an article. Here, 'school' is singular and countable, so 'a' is needed before 'prestigious school'.

× Every student is appreciated here for its talent in academic achievements.

✓ Every student is appreciated here for their talent in academic achievements.

The pronoun 'its' is incorrect when referring to a person. 'Every student' refers to people, so the correct pronoun is 'their' to indicate possession in a gender-neutral way.

× To be honest I do not work now, however in the future I want to have part time jobs.

✓ To be honest, I do not work now; however, in the future, I want to have part-time jobs.

The sentence lacks proper punctuation to separate clauses. Adding commas after introductory phrases and a semicolon before 'however' improves clarity. Also, 'part time' should be hyphenated as 'part-time' when used as an adjective.

× To have my own money for my spendings as a long term.

✓ To have my own money for my expenses in the long term.

'Spendings' is not commonly used; 'expenses' is more appropriate. Also, 'as a long term' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'in the long term' to indicate a long duration.

× If talking about medicine, I think it's a good place to work since working there helps us to be stressed, consistent.

✓ When talking about medicine, I think it's a good place to work since working there helps us to be less stressed and more consistent.

The phrase 'helps us to be stressed' is incorrect because work should reduce stress, not cause it. Adding 'less' clarifies the intended meaning. Also, 'If talking about' is better expressed as 'When talking about'. The sentence also lacked the conjunction 'and' between 'stressed' and 'consistent'.

× Also if your surrounding is good if you have close friends nearby.

✓ Also, if your surroundings are good and you have close friends nearby,

The sentence is incomplete and has repeated 'if'. 'Surrounding' should be plural 'surroundings'. Adding 'and' connects the two conditions properly.

× I think this place can be. Comfortable to you?

✓ I think this place can be comfortable for you.

The original sentence is fragmented and incorrectly punctuated. Combining into one sentence and using 'comfortable for you' is grammatically correct.

× Yes, having a good workplace is essential part of job for me since working in a supportive environment with close friends nearby can help make the job more enjoyable and less stressful.

✓ Yes, having a good workplace is an essential part of a job for me since working in a supportive environment with close friends nearby can help make the job more enjoyable and less stressful.

The sentence is missing the articles 'an' before 'essential part' and 'a' before 'job'. These articles are necessary before singular countable nouns.

× And in my case it's medicine, so it's important in such a demanding and stressful profession.

✓ In my case, it's medicine, so it's important in such a demanding and stressful profession.

Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal and often unnecessary. Removing 'And' improves sentence flow. Also, adding a comma after 'In my case' clarifies the sentence.

× I decided to choose this career path since my childhood because my father is a doctor and his motivation, his stress consistency really motivates me.

✓ I decided to choose this career path since my childhood because my father is a doctor and his motivation and stress consistency really motivate me.

The phrase 'his motivation, his stress consistency really motivates me' has a subject-verb agreement issue. The compound subject 'motivation and stress consistency' requires the plural verb 'motivate'. Also, 'stress consistency' is unclear; possibly 'stress management' or 'stress resilience' is intended, but correction is limited to grammar.